[Kerensky287]

Originally Posted by Kerensky287

Hey, at least there's a chance that the next one will be done in LESS than a week!

....Eheheheheh... yeah. Midterms, mirite?

Luckily though, I've got an easy one tomorrow. I did some studying, went to my neighbours' room, watched them play Metroid Prime for a bit and realized halfway through my 15th-or-so smartass comment that I missed doing Let's Play. So, here it is, and it's all thanks to structured procrastination!

We begin where we left off...



...in the middle of a desperate fight against cancer.

Actually no, we were in Figaro. Gerad turned out to be slightly less manly than we thought (It was Eunuch. Who could've guessed) and now we have a castle that can drill underground. We would probably have tried to take on Kefka by now, but who wants to climb that dump of a tower he has? So we're following the linear path set out for us.

But first... TALKING TO PEOPLE FROM FIGARO AGAIN!



...The cult of Kefka? Why would anyone want to do that?



Sounds like a quest! Hmm... a loved one.... who do we know that specializes in lovin'? Damn, where's Hefner when you need him!

Whatever. Hi ho Castle, away!



We come out near this town. I vaguely remember it having nothing of use except one little cutscene. Still, may as well ask if anyone's seen a Player Character.



...

...

...Frog?

Oh, right. They removed Frog's olde english speech. So it can't be him. Also I don't think amphibians have facial hair. Too bad, I guess.

Let's head to that one house with useful stuff in it.



Well, look! Cocke's dead fiancee survived! In a sense!



"That great destroyer of evil, the Master Sword. Only the one who wields the Master Sword can defeat the King of Darkness."



"Unless you get there first. In which case, you may have to wait a while. This plan also assumes he survived at all, which is a stretch considering that the apocalypse was a year ago."

Well, there goes that idea. Oh well. While we're here...



...I would like to point out that Rachel appears to have grown quite the fancy mustache.

Normally I'd assume those are eyes, but as you can see from the side-by-side comparison, they're a little low for eyes. Anybody know the story behind that messed up sprite? Am I just seeing it wrong?



Hey, they have an Inn! And a pub! Not only do they have fluffy beds, but they also have alcohol! We can wake up warm and cozy with a hangover for the first time in a year!



...

...Way too expensive.





It's too bad this town is so useless. There wasn't even a character encounter. Oh well.







Thanks for noticing.



"We're heading to the pub for drinks and ping pong after. It'll be fun."



Store: "You're missing out."









Hefner is slitting his wrists.







"Everything is darkness. Life is pain. *flips hair*"





Hefner: "Since I realized how conformist the world is, I started to feel for all the dead people in the world, you know? They've got it right. They're the only ones who understand me.

I'm going to become a necromancer."







...



Hefner: "What?"

Store: "...A necromancer? What the fuck is wrong with you?"



Flying zombies then?



Later on, at the tomb entrance.



How the hell are we going to get in? It's just a solid cliff face.

...Wait! That song!











Thanks, Frog!

Frog: ""



What? It's just a gravesite, isn't it?



...Wow, this is pretty elaborate.







...so we carve the word "CUNT" into it instead.



Man, you know what's great about graverobbing? All the mounds of treasure you find.



Oh shit!



Hey, I remember this guy... from a simpler, SMALLER time...



...Except now he's got a treasure chest for a mouth, so he must be even more tough! And we don't even have Fire Beam to help us anymore!







...Screw the rules, I have money.

Because money buys new weapons, y'see.

Farther along in the dungeon...



...Oh.

It's a statue.



....It's touching. It almost brings a tear to my eye.

You know what? Forget this. No necromancy, no graverobbing. We're going to leave well enough alone. We should at least have respect for the d-



WAAAAAH OH MY GAWD



ZOMBIE!! KILL IT!!



I would like to take this opportunity to point out a badass combination.

Ultima Weapon, which does damage based on how much health you have.



And Blood Sword, which steals health from the enemy it hits.



It's useful against pretty much anything, zombies included.



Killing the zombie opened up a secret door for some reason. Let's go through!



...You've been here before?



Oh, a cutscene! Better go up for a better view.













Past-Hef: "Speaking of which, do you need to go to the bathroom soon? It's been a few hours."













The answer is yes.





"Man, this is the life! Nothing could ever happen to screw this up."









When she did not arrive by sunset, Hef resolved to throw himself from the north cliff in despair.

He never gathered up the courage to actually do it though.





...So he built this entire dungeon on his own, filled it with monsters, traps and puzzles, and then sealed over the entrance? Nobody helped him with this? Now THAT'S dedication. Or maybe just crazy preparation.

Because we just happened to need a spare airship.



Hef: "Yep. She's the fastest ship in the fleet, and..."





When Hefner took hold of the wheel of the Falcon, he felt an amazing transformation come over him. He was no longer merely Hef, captain of the Blackjack.

He had become Captain Falcon.



His next thought was that maybe hiding an airship dock underwater wasn't such a great idea.

Weeks later, after the repairs were completed and injuries healed...





Right. We need to make sure everyone's alive. We can help protect everyone, stop this Cult of Kefka, and start some resistance against that crazy clown! We're stronger together than we are apart, so finding our friends is the top priority! We'll start searching north and...



...and...





Why not, Hefner... why not.

~~~~

Alright! That felt pretty good. We have a few options now that we aren't restricted to the linear pathway...

1) Go to Maranda. That chick who mentioned a guy with a mustache said he may have been heading that way.
2) Go to the Veldt. You get stronger on the Veldt.
3) There are rumours of something called a Coliseum... maybe we should check that place out? It sounds hardcore.
4) Head to Jidoor. Maybe the Opera house is still working?
5) Try to peer pressure Bitch back into the party.
6) Who cares? Explore.

There are a few other things we can do, but these are the simplest. We can probably accomplish one or two per chapter.

Voting begins.... now.

Next chapter will be quicker this time. SERIOUSLY.