Wait... could he have been talking about...?
Nah, probably not. He probably meant
Siegfried or somebody. Go ahead, man! Forgive yourself for your past! I'm rooting for you!
Thou: "Umm, might I make a suggestion as to our next destination?"
"No. No you can't."
Thou: "Only one way to solve this..."
Thou is then silent, while looking deeply focused.
Hey, that's an odd formation of trees.
This doesn't look accidental...
Hey, a house in the middle! Probably nobody home though.
Oh shit! It's the godfather!
...Wait, didn't he die? I'm pretty sure that furry person said he was dead.
"Yeah, I'm actually pretty sure he said you were. Just gimme a second, I'll find the picture and everything."
Aha, here it is! From way back in chapter 6.
D-D-D-DRAMABOMB!
There's only one solution I can think of...
This Duncan is an evil clone.
Good thinking, AHNULD. Don't let him know we're on to him.
Real inconspicuous, man. Learn to act.
Oh shit, everyone! He's preparing to attack!
...Wait, climbed back out? He's not a clone.
He's a ZOMBIE.
He's an evil zombie and he thinks we don't know it. He's just using us to get at Kefka, the manipulative zombie bastard!
Get him, AHNULD! There's nothing of your master left in there! Show no mercy!
And the battle ends as quickly as it started.
"Phantom Rush"? See?! He IS undead!
"Oh, we'll beat Kefka, alright..."
"But not until after we beat y-"
"BUSHIDOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
And Thou cuts a hole in the very fabric of reality, moving the entire group to a location of his choosing.
Thou: "I need to go home. It is possible that someone has taken refuge in Doma - we could help them, perhaps."
"Well gee, Thou, you could've just asked."
Thou: *scowl*
"In writing."
Well, no point in arguing.
Nobody outside the throne room.
Nobody IN the throne room.
Thou: "Oh.... right. My family's room. It... hasn't changed."
"Alright, let's go then."
Thou: "No change... none at all."
Thou: "OH WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY FAMILY MY WIFE MY SON AAAAAUUUUGHHHH"
Thou: *SNIFFFFFFFFF* "AUGH IT DOESN'T EVEN SMELL LIKE HER ANYMORE AUUUGH THEY'RE GONE FOREVER WHYYYYY"
The next morning.
"Feeling better, Thou?"
"...Thou?"
...
Laragorn? Like, Lil' Aragorn? A Lord of the Rings ripoff? Oh, please.
Mac told me to say this.
Curlax? Oh, so it's like Culex, that boss from Super Mario RPG... eheh...
Mac told me to say this too.
Moebius... like from the Sonic cartoon..... oh goddammit I see the pattern now.
Mac kinda told me to say this but not really.
They aren't allowed to make that joke. There is not enough slapstick for that.
Souls?
Oh, man! If only Siegfried were here!
But in his absence we have to stop them alone.
When in Rome...
Okay maybe that wasn't the best idea.
Well, it's gonna be difficult to reunite with the rest of the party across this confusing goddamn dreamscape.
...Oh, hell.
Yeah, we're crazy serious. Get the fuck out of our way.
Well that wasn't too hard. Now to find those.... *shudders* Stooges.
Before I blow chunks from this freakin' terrain.
I GET IT HOLY FUCK IT'S A TERRIBLE JOKE STOP IT.
Ah, a boss battle then. And it's exactly like that fight in FF4 against the Magus Sisters!
Meaning that one of them heals the other two, and when they're all alive they can hand you your ass with a single attack (Their Delta Attack turns one of your characters to stone) but when that one is dead they're entirely useless.
By the way, now that I have the chance to show you...
And AHNULD proceeds to spin around the opponent to defeat them. Superman would be proud. It does significant damage to a single opponent.
Once the three amigos are dead we are teleported to the Phantom Train... which has apparently decided to go for a delightful yellow palette change. Well, you know the drill. Head for the front of the train and kill it so we can have our lives back.
Thou: "Holy crap! I'm being chased by the KKK!"
One uneventful train ride later, we reach the front. Just gotta head in, fiddle with some switches, head back out.
Hmm... the switches are fine already. Oh well, let's beat up the train now.
This is not a train at all.
Hey! It's Thou! HEY THOU!
...No response.
Thou: "Cheese it! It's the fuzz!"
...That doesn't sound very Thou-like.
Oh, and now that I have the chance...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BURN IT TO THE GROUND
No! Wait! We can kick their asses together!
Damn, bridges. My only weakness.
Hey wait, this is a dream, right? We can make it over just fine!
...Goddammit.
Well, I give up.
"You're right! We CAN'T give up!"
Yeah, so a little bit of plot development here. I'll just summarize it for you.
Remember when we first met Thou in Doma? We didn't see what happened before AHNULD met him, but it can be assumed Thou told AHNULD. In fact, these events did not occur as Thou described; rather, they are an amalgamation of Thou's actual past (as a member of the Imperial army who failed to enter the Magitek Knight program) and that of his friend's,
Yoshimitsu, created out of a combination of shame, Magitek poisoning and manipulation by Kefka. The effects of this self-fabrication are made noticeable to the player prior to Thou's discovery of the truth—Thou, at mention of names from the past or moments related thereto, will experience a brief flashback and collapse momentarily, suffering from apparent physical pain, and visual and audio cues are given to indicate discrepancies. (These events were cut from the final version of the game.) It is not until after he and the party fall into the Dreamscape that Thou's past is pieced back together, and Thou differentiates his identity from Yoshimitsu's and dismisses Kefka's deceit that he is an artificially-constructed Kefka-clone.
"My god... it all makes sense now! He never really spoke like that, it was just how Yoshimitsu spoke! And Thou's "wife" was Yoshimitsu's old girlfriend! It's too bad Kefka had to kill her."
Alright. It's time to avenge Yoshimitsu and show Thou that it's okay to live his own life!
"He feels powerless without his mentor, that awesome robotic samurai who died saving him from Imperial soldiers!"
Alright, this is one of the stupidest boss battles in the game. You may notice that Wrexsoul is not currently visible; this is because he possesses one of your party members at the start of the fight. This is not evidenced in the loss of their control, as one might expect, but in order to kill the boss, you have to KILL YOUR PARTY MEMBER FIRST.
Of course, the battle is a lot easier once you realize that he just goes after the same person over and over again. Attack, suicide, revive, attack, suicide, revive. Very simple.
Once you find the right person, they're mostly useless for the battle, sadly. Boy, the price of freedom is steep.
Thou: "And I even had visions of my old friend and mentor, Yoshimitsu!"
Yoshimitsu: "And I will also always be with thee!"
Yoshimitsu: "Thou art my living legacy!"
Yoshimitsu: "My sword now belongs to thee. Do not forget!"
Thou: "I won't forget, Yoshimitsu."
One added bonus...
...and another! Turns out he really did get to keep the dream sword thingy.
Next stop........
...
I have no clue. But we got a new sword, and Thou's Bushido is even more unstoppable than before!
~~
Special thanks this time around to Mac, Soul Calibur 4 and the
wikipedia page about Cloud Strife. If you don't know what I mean, read the fourth paragraph under "Appearances".
And for those who didn't get it, no, that didn't REALLY happen in the game. I just couldn't resist all the Crisis Core jokes.
Go ahead and vote on our next location if you want, but take your time. This will sadly be the last chapter for a good long time - I've got exams to study for. My last exam is on the 16th, though, so chapter 35 should come soon after! I'll make another post shortly beforehand as well. Thanks a lot for reading, and have a merry.... uh, holiday season!