@Mac: Yes, just like the SINGLE UPDATE you did for all of December.
So... mere words can't express how sorry I am for missing all those times that I said I'd update. But here it is! The long-awaited Chapter 37. I mean, actions speak louder than words, unless that action is whispering or shutting up, right? So, action stations!
CHAPTER 37!
Si Civa won the random lottery of team-picking. Round of applause!
And so we are presented with Team Hot and Team Cool.
We can switch between teams at any time (except fights), just like when we were defending the Esper ages ago. Only this time...
We're solving pressure-plate puzzles.
"Fuck."
Store: "Ahahaha! Enjoy the wait,
Bitch!"
Bitch: *mumbling*
Hey, a treasure chest! That was fast.
IT'S A TRAP!
Our feet can't repel spikes of this magnitude!
...Goddamn pitfalls... And now we're trapped in a cave of lava with no way out!
Except, umm, the staircase.
What a retarded trap. Who the hell would design something so that you automatically get what the trap's guarding after surviving it? Not me, that's who.
But hey, a Wing Edge.
More spikybits that way...
...so I guess the baton is passed to Team Incandescent.
Bitch: "Hmm... some spikes and another pressure plate. Well, I guess the next thing to do is obvious."
The spikes recede.
Store: "Oh, hey, thanks! I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, it was just a joke but in case you took it litera-"
Store: "...You're a fucking asshat."
One long, painful walk later...
Store: "Ohohoho, karma's a BITCH, isn't it?"
Bitch: "Stop using my name as a word with negative connotations."
Another painful walk later...
An empty treasure chest.
...Goddammit. Other way then.
Back into the lava cave of doom.
Another empty treasure chest? What a waste.
And another pressure plate... this time to create tiny stepping stones for Team Nippy to hop across over firey death.
Bitch: "Hey, it's Store again... maybe I should tell her that most of the treasure chests here seem to be empty? Nah."
Store: "Oh boy, a treasure chest! I'm sure it's chock full of goodies that make stepping on spikes totally worth the trip!"
Store: "DAMN YOU, FATE! Damn you and your malevolent designs!"
Bitch: "Hey, Store, can you open this rock wall for me?"
Bitch: "Thanks."
Store: "And now to step off the pressure plate, forcing her to be crushed to death and allowing me free passage! Muahahaha!"
Bitch: "Sorry, did you say something?"
Store: "No."
Bitch: "Well, it seems she's had a change of heart. Maybe it's time to bury the hatchet and be friends again?"
Store: "And when she comes through here, I'll give her the SURPRISE OF HER LIFE! MUAHAHAHAHA!"
Store: "Hey, come on through!"
Bitch: "Thanks."
Store: "Awesome."
...
Store: "Heh. She didn't expect that AT ALL."
Bitch: "Awwww! Hey, little guy! HEY STORE I FOUND AN ADORABLE CAVE CRITTER I'M GONNA GO PET IT OKAY"
Bitch: "HE'S SO CUTE!"
I'm just gonna take this opportunity to point out that Loli apparently has a godlike Magic stat.
She also knows a total of 2 spells because I never use her.
Bitch still does more damage anyway.
Hmm... this guy's giving us a bit of trouble.
Good thing we had a montage, eh?
Eye of the Tiger, baby.
....
Bitch: "Hey guys I just got the feeling that there are 7 dragons remaining."
And the fourth wall collapses, never to be rebuilt.
...Eww.
Bitch: "HEY STORE GUESS WHAT I FOUND HUH GUESS"
Store: "What is it?"
Bitch: "I found a DRAGON COCK."
Store: "...Cock.....?"
Store: "Wait a second....."
Store: "That rock looks vaguely like a..."
Bitch: "What are you talking abou-"
Store: "COCKE MUST BE IN THIS CAVE! I'm gonna go find him!"
Why the hell would...
...
wooo
IT'S A STONE, COCKE, YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT
It's a rock. What makes you think it EVER had the power to do miracles?
...Other than giving everyone godlike magical powers of course.
Who?
You mean that girl from Friends?
Dude, she got together with Ross. That ship has sailed.
She was out of your league anyway. A full dimension greater and FAR more than 8-bit.
Cocke: "So, do I say a chant or something...?"
That's the power of pessimism for you.
Eh. It was a pretty good try.
JUMPIN' JUNIPERS
This is familiar... this was in a movie, wasn't it?
I'm certain it was...
Oh, right! X-Men 3!
Oh crap. Rachel has the Phoenix Force.
Rachel: "I think we should see other people."
Cocke: "...You're serious, aren't you?"
Rachel: "Because, yeah, we had some good times, but you were really starting to get on my nerves. Kleptomania isn't really a quality I had in mind for an ideal spouse either..."
Rachel: "...and I hope it makes you feel better that I would have dumped you anyway."
Cocke: "And she lives on.... THROUGH THIS ARM"
Cocke: "...Well, I dunno, I kind of assumed you guys has a mission or something."
Store: "We eventually plan to beat up Kefka but nothing more concrete than that."
Cocke: "Oh. Okay..."
Cocke: "I took them on my first run through. I closed them after, but I'm sure it didn't confuse anybody. I mean, who would go through all that hell for a lousy treasure chest other than me, right?"
Store: "Eh, he can wait. Let's go somewhere else first. I hear there are still 7 dragons remaining."
Cocke has rejoined the party!
Where to next?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reader input time! Where to next, and what should we do about the teams? And put in your responses soon because
I'm switching to a Monday/Wednesday/Friday update schedule till this thing is done.
I said I'd make it up to you guys, didn't I? And the weekly updates worked well for a while. I think this plan will work fine. And then somebody else will be free to do a Let's Play!
Let's hope it's not Mac, I hear he wants to do Chrono Trigger without any audience input. Boooo!