...Huh. Turns out getting Gogo is really, really fast. Fast enough that I did another side-quest in the same chapter and it STILL only came out to 51 screens.
Anyway.
CHAPTER 40
Procrastination! It happens to the best of us. Yes, Kefka's currently making himself at home in the only remaining seat of power in the world, and yes, we are FULLY capable of ripping him 16 new assholes simultaneously, but there are so many little distractions, so many little rumours to follow up on!
"Hey, you know that little island shaped like a triangle up in the northeast? I hear there are monsters there that will swallow you and everything around you whole! Those that are sucked in are never seen again! How terrifying!"
Oh geez, a giant living vacuum cleaner! I gotta see this.
Okay, so the island isn't all that triangular. But I'm sure there are vacuum monsters here anyway.
See? Right on cue!
WHOA OH CRAP!
...He just ate a little girl. A little 10-year-old girl.
No one is allowed to be cruel to children but me! And maybe Kefka!
Okay, you can have Cocke, I guess.
...Wait, doesn't he have that badass sword?
And now Bitch is gone forever. I will never be able to cast Trance Firaga again.
Eunuch: "I want my party back, you son of a bitch."
Hey, and one more hit dropped him! The party is saved!
...Of course, the island is covered in the monsters and we can't get that lucky twice.
Well, may as well get acquainted with this cave... we'll be spending eternity here.
....Or not.
Wow, all those people who get sucked in really need to learn to explore their surroundings.
So this doom cave isn't really as doom-ing as it originally seemed.
But oh boy, it's full of treasure!
Now, I can't imagine why a monster's innards would be full of bridges, but those shady figures seem intent on knocking us off of them. Of course, it's a necessary risk to get all this treasure!
...And now I've managed to corner myself. Great.
Last resort, guys. Maybe it won't recognize us!
Crap.
I think it recognized us anyway, guys. Maybe we should have brought more than one fake mustache.
Some time later...
First bridges, and now trapped ceilings? What the hell kind of a digestive system is this?!
But hell, treasure's here too. May as well check it out.
Yay, mediocre item!
ZOMFG
AAAAAAAH THAT WAS FAR TOO CLOSE
Okay, if we get trapped under this thing, we're dead. There's a small hole in the ceiling over there that we can make a run for, if everything goes well.
....
...You know, after the 4th or 5th time of nearly being crushed, it gets a little comfy in these holes.
Harrowing experience over! Hopefully there's more treasure ahead.
....Nope, just more bridges.
Oh, I see, so there ARE treasure chests, but they've already been opened. I guess they serve as stepping stones?
SPROING
Okay, someone spring-loaded the hinges on the chests for a little extra oomph. At least it makes more sense than spring-loaded ROCKS in a lava cave.
What's next? I don't know, but I think we must be nearing the end. Ready up, people, last time I went through a giant mock digestive system I had to fight 25 Metal Gear RAYs. And this time, I forgot the stinger missiles.
Well... this fellow doesn't LOOK like a giant robot.
My guess is either sentient arm or swarm of bees.
...At least the naming wasn't ambiguous.
"Not since the universe itself gave its birth cry, and the dimensions branched out like a maturing tree. I witnessed this event, and it would have given pause to the mightiest of beings."
"For your very existence mimics mine, and I grow tired of merely observing. Perhaps it is time I took your place among you, so that you may see how far greater I am than your petty race."
"Why do you disturb my slumber?"
"Why? Do you not realize that your world is only slightly less fleeting than your lives? Your world will end in due time, and you would only delay the inevitable. But of course, it is not my place to judge; not at this time, at least."
"That way, you shall see how feeble you are in every way compared to an Elder God."
Now, It is a bit of an odd character.
It is the only party member who can change their moveset at any time. Mimic is the only constant option...
...and all others can be swapped in for any command that any other party member has at ANY TIME. So while It's stats (its stats? ugh, the grammar...) are significantly lower than those of the other party members, you can end up with some interesting combinations.
We have all 14 characters now! Awesome!
Let's stick with the same 4 we've been using for the past while though.
There's a little more time left, so we may as well follow one more baseless rumour;
Now, since one of us is a treasure hunter, we can't exactly let this opportunity go by, can we?
This is a cactuar.
They have godlike defense and evasion. Nearly every attack will either miss or do 1 damage. They only have one worthwhile attack:
1000 Needles does exactly 1000 damage, regardless of defense or barriers.
But oh, what a surprise! Loli is still wearing her fake mustache. Curiously enough, when Loli wears a fake mustache she loses her artistic abilities and instead gains the ability to MIND CONTROL RANDOM ENCOUNTERS.
Cactuars have less than 1000 hit points.
Cactuars are also an excellent source of Magic AP. Keep in mind that encounters generally only give you 2 or 3 at most. Grinding cactuars is a good way to teach everyone magic.
Hmm... now that I mention it...
About 10 cactuars later
Hmm. This does not look like par for the course. Whatever, Mind Control!
It's immune. Maybe that's because it's also wearing a fake mustache...
Or maybe it's just that it dodges damn near EVERY SPELL YOU CAN CAST.
And it also dodges most physical attacks. And counterattacks the ones that hit for about 7500 damage.
Also, it casts 1000 Needles at least twice per turn.
Not an easy fight without reraise, I can tell you that.
Uhm... I was more focused on staying alive than taking screenshots. I would describe it, but I don't have a talent for writing... Ooh! Maybe I could get DFM to make up a battle scene for me!
...I can dream, can't I?
Possibly an even more harrowing experience than Gilgamesh, if only because it took so long.
But hey! Treasure!
At least it's not offering to "lend" me its power this time. Smart cactus.
Bitch Branford: Plant Hunter.
....Can we PLEASE kill Kefka now?