Marriage norms

CelesJessa · 03-20-2008, 10:07 AM

When my brother got engaged, he told me that some of his friends from out of state were very surprised that he was getting married fresh out of college. Apparently wherever they're from, people usually use their 20s as more of a dating age. Which, with my interest in culture and norms, piqued my interest.

I guess getting married right after graduation (whether it be high school or college) is our norm around here. Everyone I know generally has gotten married right after graduating (actually, my best friend's parents married in high school). But I'm curious about the marriage norms you guys have wherever you live. Do people usually wait until their late 20s to get married?

Also just generally on the topic of marriage, what are your feelings about it. Do you want to get married someday? Wait a few years to enjoy the "dating scene"? Live as a bachelor forever? Or if you are married, fun stories about your weddings or whatnot.

Warumono · 03-20-2008, 10:14 AM

Around here it seems the norm is pretty young as well, but there's alot of problems with some young married couples.
I think it's great, and I have found my one and hope to get married someday. I'm a hopeless romantic when it comes to things like this.

I can't stand dating around, and I couldn't see myself doing that in my later years either.

Hex · 03-20-2008, 10:15 AM

Actually, I plan on getting married around twentie-one, regardless of graduation. I juest need to be able to get us up on our feet. I don't need any of that dating scene stuff. Thats lame.

Besides I dont want kids till Im at least 30. I need to be well settled and evreything, and I want a few years of, you know, a chance for me and my spouse to be together before kids kill that.

adamark · 03-20-2008, 10:25 AM

Where is "around here" exactly? There are people from all different states and countries, I can't keep them all straight. Remind me where you're from when you're talking about regional differences.

As for myself (I live in Connecticut, USA), people usually wait until their early 30s to get married. The reason is economic--it's SO expensive to live here, people have to get their careers going and save tons of money so they can afford to move out of their parents' house and buy their own.

DFM · 03-20-2008, 10:30 AM

Yeah, early 30's seems like the norm to me.

I actually yelled at my friend when she got engaged fresh out of high school but that was more because it was an guy she met two weeks ago.

Nikose Tyris · 03-20-2008, 10:38 AM

Straight Outta High School was common around here, but mostly because we have a disgustingly high teen pregnancy rate and shotgun weddings are still popular.

I'm thinking 25 looks like a nice age, although if I meet a nice girl I guess sooner would be fine.

Savage Thinking · 03-20-2008, 10:51 AM

I'd like to point out that age difference between the married couples. I know people who find it odd when the couples who are married are 3 or so years apart. Although, I find it okay to marry with a slightly larger difference (although I've met couples who are thrity years apart, at which point I find a bit odd. Love knows no age, right..?).

Also, "the norm", based on my experiences, is seen that the male is to be older than the female. Personally, when I find people who are the other way around, it doesn't bother me. But, it tends to catch me off guard at times.

Nikose Tyris · 03-20-2008, 10:55 AM

also interesting- I've noticed a bit of a hypocrisy where my grandparents are married at 16, my mom got married at 19 but they think it's wrong for me to start dating at 18 that was funny.

Also my mother and her fiancee are 11 years apart age wise and my grandmother is 16 years her husband's senior, yet dating a girl more than 3 years either way disgusts people.

Demetrius · 03-20-2008, 11:27 AM

For the most part first marriages around here (Vermont) tend to be in the early to mid-20's with 30 being a late marriage. I've noticed (as far as dating goes) that women in their early 20's and late teens tend to date much (often divorced) older men, thinking that they will be more mature. While they believe they are getting a good deal, they fail to understand that an older guy dating a younger chick is just scoring some young tail, and is not going to be a mature man.

Needless to say, I am frustrated by the above bit.

phil_ · 03-20-2008, 12:17 PM

People don't get married in Tappahannock. They just have babies.

Not that I live there anymore. It's just where I'm from.

03-20-2008, 10:07 AM	#1
CelesJessa DA-DA-DA-DAA DAA DAA DA DA-DAAAAAA! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Zanzibar Land Posts: 6,531	Marriage norms When my brother got engaged, he told me that some of his friends from out of state were very surprised that he was getting married fresh out of college. Apparently wherever they're from, people usually use their 20s as more of a dating age. Which, with my interest in culture and norms, piqued my interest. I guess getting married right after graduation (whether it be high school or college) is our norm around here. Everyone I know generally has gotten married right after graduating (actually, my best friend's parents married in high school). But I'm curious about the marriage norms you guys have wherever you live. Do people usually wait until their late 20s to get married? Also just generally on the topic of marriage, what are your feelings about it. Do you want to get married someday? Wait a few years to enjoy the "dating scene"? Live as a bachelor forever? Or if you are married, fun stories about your weddings or whatnot. __________________

03-20-2008, 10:15 AM	#3
Hex I.. Really don't think he knows... Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: A pit of trash Posts: 102	Actually, I plan on getting married around twentie-one, regardless of graduation. I juest need to be able to get us up on our feet. I don't need any of that dating scene stuff. Thats lame. Besides I dont want kids till Im at least 30. I need to be well settled and evreything, and I want a few years of, you know, a chance for me and my spouse to be together before kids kill that. __________________ 75% of forum signitures have a percentage in them, if your part of the 25% that... aww, s* shiney*: Snizap. Hex: Huh? shiney: Die in a fire! Hex*: I love you too shiney

03-20-2008, 10:30 AM	#5
DFM Om Nom Nom Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3,850	Yeah, early 30's seems like the norm to me. I actually yelled at my friend when she got engaged fresh out of high school but that was more because it was an guy she met two weeks ago. __________________ [14:26] ManoftheRus: YOU GODDAMN SNEAKY DEE

03-20-2008, 10:51 AM	#7
Savage Thinking Yeeeah, son. Join Date: May 2005 Location: Stranded in the middle of the ocean with no desire to be rescued. Posts: 755	I'd like to point out that age difference between the married couples. I know people who find it odd when the couples who are married are 3 or so years apart. Although, I find it okay to marry with a slightly larger difference (although I've met couples who are thrity years apart, at which point I find a bit odd. Love knows no age, right..?). Also, "the norm", based on my experiences, is seen that the male is to be older than the female. Personally, when I find people who are the other way around, it doesn't bother me. But, it tends to catch me off guard at times. __________________ The artist formerly known as 'ZutsuJin'. "It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself"

03-20-2008, 11:27 AM	#9
Demetrius In need of a vacation Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Peoples Republic of Vermont Posts: 3,236	For the most part first marriages around here (Vermont) tend to be in the early to mid-20's with 30 being a late marriage. I've noticed (as far as dating goes) that women in their early 20's and late teens tend to date much (often divorced) older men, thinking that they will be more mature. While they believe they are getting a good deal, they fail to understand that an older guy dating a younger chick is just scoring some young tail, and is not going to be a mature man. Needless to say, I am frustrated by the above bit. __________________ DFM, Demon seed of Hell who fuels its incredible power by butchering little girls and feeding on their innocence. Demetrius, Dark clown of the netherworld, a being of incalculable debauchery and a soulless, faceless evil as old as time itself. Zilla, The chick. ~DFM Wii bishie bishie kawaii baka! ~ Fifthfiend

03-20-2008, 12:17 PM	#10
phil_ Just sleeping Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: At home, probably in bed. Posts: 6,482	People don't get married in Tappahannock. They just have babies. Not that I live there anymore. It's just where I'm from. __________________ Be T-Rexcellent to each other, tako.