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Unread 01-14-2009, 11:44 AM   #1
Bells
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Default The Fanboy Form Letter (Silly Stuff)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kotaku
To the folks at [GAME COMPANY], let me first say I’ve [-ED VERB] all your previous games. For years, I’ve pre-ordered every new [ORIGINAL GAME CO.] title from [GAME SHOP], and I’ve appreciated the accompanying swag, particularly the [-ED VERB] edition [GAME CHARACTER] key chain. Unfortunately, the recent changes you’ve made to the [GAME] franchise have lost you a [NOUN].

I know, I know, [THOUGHT TERMINATING CLICHÉ]. But how can you provide us with so many brilliantly localized [NATIONALITY] [GENRE] games, titles with plenty of [ADJECTIVE] Menus and [ADJECTIVE] Inventory Systems, then 180 your lineup for a [CONSOLE] title featuring an adorable [ANIMAL] protagonist` and [NUMBER] mini-games?

[INTERJECTION], I understand that [ORIGINAL GAME CO.]’s CEO, [CELEBTRITY GAME EXEC] hopes to [VERB] the casual market, but what about the [NOUN]-gamer? Why must you suddenly ape [MAINSTREAM GAME], when your fans demand more titles like my favorite RPG [MEDIVAL TORTUER DEVICE] Dungeon [NUMBER], or even the much demanded sequel to [COMIC] Vs. [OBSCURE FIGHTER]?

[EXCLAMATION]!

I hope everyone who works for you [-S VERB]. I hope your parents, your friends and your [HYPOCRISTIC] hate you forever. You’re all [PLURAL PEJORATIVE].

Pull your [BODY PART] out of your [BODY PART]. [VERB] you, you [-ING VERB] [VERB]. May you rot in [PLACE]

[SNOWCLONE].
[SCREENNAME]

P.S. I’ve enclosed [CHEMICAL]. Die twice.
You know, i just love how silly stuff like this can make up for a funny lazy afternoon =P

I mean, put one of these up for Sega and Sonic just for the heck of it, you will feel lighter... oh joy!
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Unread 01-14-2009, 12:01 PM   #2
Karrrrrrrrrrrresche
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You can totally use Fuck or a version of Fuck for every single one of those.
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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old�s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
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Unread 01-14-2009, 05:36 PM   #3
Wigmund
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Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know! Wigmund INVENTED reputation, you know!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grthwllms View Post
You can totally use Fuck or a version of Fuck for every single one of those.
Quite true, certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
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Unread 01-14-2009, 05:37 PM   #4
Mr.Bookworm
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Default

To the folks at FuckFuckFuck, let me first say I’ve fucked all your previous games. For years, I’ve pre-ordered every new Fuck title from The Fuck Shop, and I’ve appreciated the accompanying swag, particularly the Fucked edition Fucky McFucker key chain. Unfortunately, the recent changes you’ve made to the Fuck franchise have lost you a fuck.

I know, I know, fuck. But how can you provide us with so many brilliantly localized fucking fucker games, titles with plenty of fucked Menus and fucked Inventory Systems, then 180 your lineup for a Fucked title featuring an adorable fuck-billed platypus protagonist and 3825 mini-games?

Fuck, I understand that FuckFuckFuck’s CEO, Fuck Fuckingstein hopes to fuck the casual market, but what about the fuck-gamer? Why must you suddenly ape Fucking the Fuck, when your fans demand more titles like my favorite RPG Fuck Dungeon 3825, or even the much demanded sequel to Fucktits Vs. Deathfuck?

Fuck!

I hope everyone who works for you fucks. I hope your parents, your friends and your fucker hate you forever. You’re all fucks.

Pull your fucktoe out of your fuckfemur. Fuck you, you fucking fuckers. May you rot in Fuckheaven

Fucking fucker's fucking fucked, fuck.
Fucking Fanboy

P.S. I’ve enclosed Essence of Fuck. Die twice.

---

Now, may [Deity of Choice] please strike me down.
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Unread 01-14-2009, 05:50 PM   #5
The Wizard Who Did It
The End of Evolution
 
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Bookworm View Post
To the folks at FuckFuckFuck, let me first say I’ve fucked all your previous games. For years, I’ve pre-ordered every new Fuck title from The Fuck Shop, and I’ve appreciated the accompanying swag, particularly the Fucked edition Fucky McFucker key chain. Unfortunately, the recent changes you’ve made to the Fuck franchise have lost you a fuck.

I know, I know, fuck. But how can you provide us with so many brilliantly localized fucking fucker games, titles with plenty of fucked Menus and fucked Inventory Systems, then 180 your lineup for a Fucked title featuring an adorable fuck-billed platypus protagonist and 3825 mini-games?

Fuck, I understand that FuckFuckFuck’s CEO, Fuck Fuckingstein hopes to fuck the casual market, but what about the fuck-gamer? Why must you suddenly ape Fucking the Fuck, when your fans demand more titles like my favorite RPG Fuck Dungeon 3825, or even the much demanded sequel to Fucktits Vs. Deathfuck?

Fuck!

I hope everyone who works for you fucks. I hope your parents, your friends and your fucker hate you forever. You’re all fucks.

Pull your fucktoe out of your fuckfemur. Fuck you, you fucking fuckers. May you rot in Fuckheaven

Fucking fucker's fucking fucked, fuck.
Fucking Fanboy

P.S. I’ve enclosed Essence of Fuck. Die twice.
Fucking fucker's fucking fucked, fuck!
Translation: It is broken, with emphasis on dismay.
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Unread 01-14-2009, 06:56 PM   #6
Kerensky287
Just That Good
 
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Default

P.S. I’ve enclosed gold. Die twice.

Because gold is a chemical too.
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Unread 01-14-2009, 07:06 PM   #7
Mirai Gen
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Bookworm View Post
To the folks at FuckFuckFuck, let me first say I’ve fucked all your previous games. For years, I’ve pre-ordered every new Fuck title from The Fuck Shop, and I’ve appreciated the accompanying swag, particularly the Fucked edition Fucky McFucker key chain. Unfortunately, the recent changes you’ve made to the Fuck franchise have lost you a fuck.

I know, I know, fuck. But how can you provide us with so many brilliantly localized fucking fucker games, titles with plenty of fucked Menus and fucked Inventory Systems, then 180 your lineup for a Fucked title featuring an adorable fuck-billed platypus protagonist and 3825 mini-games?

Fuck, I understand that FuckFuckFuck’s CEO, Fuck Fuckingstein hopes to fuck the casual market, but what about the fuck-gamer? Why must you suddenly ape Fucking the Fuck, when your fans demand more titles like my favorite RPG Fuck Dungeon 3825, or even the much demanded sequel to Fucktits Vs. Deathfuck?

Fuck!

I hope everyone who works for you fucks. I hope your parents, your friends and your fucker hate you forever. You’re all fucks.

Pull your fucktoe out of your fuckfemur. Fuck you, you fucking fuckers. May you rot in Fuckheaven

Fucking fucker's fucking fucked, fuck.
Fucking Fanboy

P.S. I’ve enclosed Essence of Fuck. Die twice.

---

Now, may [Deity of Choice] please strike me down.
A 5th grade love letter from Fifthfiend?
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Unread 01-14-2009, 07:09 PM   #8
Mr.Bookworm
YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHH
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirai Gen View Post
A 5th grade love letter from Fifthfiend?
Sounds more like Regulus hearing that Mario is going multi-platform.
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Unread 01-14-2009, 07:24 PM   #9
Bells
That's so PC of you
 
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Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay! Bells slew the jabberwocky! Callooh! Callay!
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Actually, if you switch the letter from Games to Tv Shows, i could see it being about Mirai Knowing that in the next transformers movie, they will make a Ford pickup to be Optimus love interest...
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Unread 01-14-2009, 08:55 PM   #10
Wigmund
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Dammit, now I have a mental image of Optimus with a 'Fuck Ford' bumper sticker on his crotch.
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