Harassment issue

Bob The Mercenary · 08-06-2007, 09:08 PM

I'll tell you right off the bat as to derail any thoughts of the previous post I made like this. This isn't a fake or anything like that. I am honestly concerned about an issue that has come up concerning an old friend of mine.

Me and her were going to the same college for a while until I dropped out because of my grades. It seems that right after I dropped out the shit hit the fan pretty squarely. I'll stick to the subject at hand, but the school basically fell into a sex and drugs atmosphere. Nothing like the squeaky clean image I remember.

Apparently her boyfriend, whom she was on good terms with when I left but quickly fell into a sort of domestic abuse situation, sexually assaulted her on school grounds. She brought her full story along with what she told me was "solid evidence" to some higher-ups in the college. They sent her sort of a "come to my office and we'll discuss this" letter back. She goes and ends up having herself and her boyfriend kicked out of the school.

The letter was a little off in that it mentioned they had an "action plan" for the situation before anyone ever brought any evidence. Now I took this to mean they would take care of it with as low a profile as possible, just until they got all the facts. It turns out they did go to court. My friend lost the case and now has a restraining order which means she can only talk to people not currently going to the college.

She's now readying a case against the college itself accusing it of covering the whole thing up. She went on to say that her boyfriend made a full confession (to whom I don't know) and that it was also part of the "solid evidence". It sounds like she thinks the entire faculty is involved in a conspiracy against her in an effort to keep this whole thing buried in the closet, which may very well be true.

I honestly don't know what to make of this. I figured this would be national coverage shit by now. She seems to have a plan at hand already, but how would one handle something like this? Either no one believes her evidence, or her boyfriend is too well known throughout the school for any of the faculty to want to make a move against.

Toast · 08-06-2007, 09:31 PM

While I don't have any specific advice for you, I'm not at all surprised at how this was handled by the college. Colleges are in the business of making money by attracting students, more and more of whom are young women. No college would want to admit the high risk of rape, either on campus or nearby, for their students. Instead, they try and shove it under the rug as much as possible.

This article is a little old, but not much has really changed. At least not significantly.

All I can say is that I hope she goes through with it and reaches a satisfactory end.

Xaeta · 08-06-2007, 09:56 PM

will a college go to such lengths to keep it's "repution" in good health?

YES.

Does the US Government sacrifice soldiers and burn them in court for killing just to keep the US looking "goody-goody-good?"

YES.

So, my conclusion is that she should take this as high as it should go. Sure, it may be viewed as "bitching" (amongst other very colorful terminology), but when one has been violated in such a way and no justified action is taken, of course one will seek justice to the highest degree. I don't understand why the college won't deal with it thinking that they can push it aside, when they don't realize that if they DO deal with it, it won't get worse and worse.

HENCE another reason why college is overrated and I hate it.

Bells · 08-07-2007, 10:25 AM

at one hand the school could have the status of kicking out a rapist and doing justice, or, like they did, try to cover it up...

It's a matter os what they gain doing so... what would this institution gain from protecting a criminal instead of helping a good student that was a victim?

not (at all!) to say anything against your friend, but maybe her evidence isnt as strong as she belives it is... or maybe, just maybe, there is a piece missing there that completes the puzzle and shows just why would they rather protect a rapist than a common student

Lady Cygnet · 08-07-2007, 11:29 AM

Did she go to the hospital and have a rape kit done? Did she report the incident to law enforcement?

It's so easy to have sexual assault within a couple dismissed as a "lovers' spat." Even an exam in an emergency room wouldn't show much--his lawyer could argue that they just "liked it kinky" and she was accusing him of sexual assault to get back at him for something.

Anyway, if they haven't given her an actual gag order, she can broadcast her story on the Internet. She wouldn't be violating the restraining order if someone who happened to go to that college stumbled onto her blog or website and got her version of events--after all, she wasn't "talking" to that person at all. (If she does that, though, there is a risk that the college will sue her for libel. Either way, though, it does make the public more aware that the college may have something to hide.)

There were a few cases of sexual assault on campus when I was in college, but they were, of course, hushed up, and the administration wouldn't allow us to print anything about it in the student newspaper, which frustrated me to no end. One fraternity in particular was notorious for being involved in sexual assaults, but the administration had a "boys will be boys" mentality about it, and the people who were assaulted were too scared of the fraternity and the administration to try to alert the public about what happened to them.

Aero · 08-13-2007, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Apparently her boyfriend, whom she was on good terms with when I left but quickly fell into a sort of domestic abuse situation, sexually assaulted her on school grounds.

I don't know about in America but in Australia sexual assault doesn't always mean rape.

Lady Cygnet · 08-13-2007, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aero

I don't know about in America but in Australia sexual assault doesn't always mean rape.

It's the same way in the US--there are a few forms of assault other than rape that are classified as sexual assault, such as a man flashing a woman.

Blues · 08-14-2007, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Cygnet

There were a few cases of sexual assault on campus when I was in college, but they were, of course, hushed up, and the administration wouldn't allow us to print anything about it in the student newspaper, which frustrated me to no end. One fraternity in particular was notorious for being involved in sexual assaults, but the administration had a "boys will be boys" mentality about it, and the people who were assaulted were too scared of the fraternity and the administration to try to alert the public about what happened to them.

That's pretty fucking sick. I wish I could manage to be more surprised when I hear about things like that, and OP's story. Institutions and corporations truly see people as walking dollar amounts.

Then again, I just learned this week that a manager at my workplace, who shares an office with his wife (my boss, who is a horrible bitch... they truly deserve each other) is known for being a groper and generally perverse.

Why do people have to be assholes all the time?

08-06-2007, 09:08 PM	#1
Bob The Mercenary Bob Dole Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Bob Dole Posts: 5,606	Harassment issue I'll tell you right off the bat as to derail any thoughts of the previous post I made like this. This isn't a fake or anything like that. I am honestly concerned about an issue that has come up concerning an old friend of mine. Me and her were going to the same college for a while until I dropped out because of my grades. It seems that right after I dropped out the shit hit the fan pretty squarely. I'll stick to the subject at hand, but the school basically fell into a sex and drugs atmosphere. Nothing like the squeaky clean image I remember. Apparently her boyfriend, whom she was on good terms with when I left but quickly fell into a sort of domestic abuse situation, sexually assaulted her on school grounds. She brought her full story along with what she told me was "solid evidence" to some higher-ups in the college. They sent her sort of a "come to my office and we'll discuss this" letter back. She goes and ends up having herself and her boyfriend kicked out of the school. The letter was a little off in that it mentioned they had an "action plan" for the situation before anyone ever brought any evidence. Now I took this to mean they would take care of it with as low a profile as possible, just until they got all the facts. It turns out they did go to court. My friend lost the case and now has a restraining order which means she can only talk to people not currently going to the college. She's now readying a case against the college itself accusing it of covering the whole thing up. She went on to say that her boyfriend made a full confession (to whom I don't know) and that it was also part of the "solid evidence". It sounds like she thinks the entire faculty is involved in a conspiracy against her in an effort to keep this whole thing buried in the closet, which may very well be true. I honestly don't know what to make of this. I figured this would be national coverage shit by now. She seems to have a plan at hand already, but how would one handle something like this? Either no one believes her evidence, or her boyfriend is too well known throughout the school for any of the faculty to want to make a move against. __________________ Bob Dole Last edited by Bob The Mercenary; 08-06-2007 at 09:10 PM.

08-06-2007, 09:31 PM	#2
Toast Existential Toast Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Georgia Posts: 440	While I don't have any specific advice for you, I'm not at all surprised at how this was handled by the college. Colleges are in the business of making money by attracting students, more and more of whom are young women. No college would want to admit the high risk of rape, either on campus or nearby, for their students. Instead, they try and shove it under the rug as much as possible. This article is a little old, but not much has really changed. At least not significantly. All I can say is that I hope she goes through with it and reaches a satisfactory end. __________________ “How dare you! How dare you stand there acting like your brand of suffering is worse than anybody else’s. Well, I guess that’s the only way you can justify treating the rest of us like dirt.” ~ Major Margaret Houlihan (Mash) “If we’re going to be damned, let’s be damned for what we really are.” ~ Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

08-06-2007, 09:56 PM	#3
Xaeta I have a caffeine addiction. Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Japan Posts: 563	will a college go to such lengths to keep it's "repution" in good health? YES. Does the US Government sacrifice soldiers and burn them in court for killing just to keep the US looking "goody-goody-good?" YES. So, my conclusion is that she should take this as high as it should go. Sure, it may be viewed as "bitching" (amongst other very colorful terminology), but when one has been violated in such a way and no justified action is taken, of course one will seek justice to the highest degree. I don't understand why the college won't deal with it thinking that they can push it aside, when they don't realize that if they DO deal with it, it won't get worse and worse. HENCE another reason why college is overrated and I hate it. __________________ "If I had a reason for everything I did, I'd be crazy."

08-07-2007, 10:25 AM	#4
Bells That's so PC of you Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: In a Server-sided Dimension where time is meaningless Posts: 10,490	at one hand the school could have the status of kicking out a rapist and doing justice, or, like they did, try to cover it up... It's a matter os what they gain doing so... what would this institution gain from protecting a criminal instead of helping a good student that was a victim? not (at all!) to say anything against your friend, but maybe her evidence isnt as strong as she belives it is... or maybe, just maybe, there is a piece missing there that completes the puzzle and shows just why would they rather protect a rapist than a common student __________________ *BELLS STORE : Clothes! You wear* them! Free US Shipping Subscription System? WTF?! Zazzle Black!**

08-07-2007, 11:29 AM	#5
Lady Cygnet Hasn't changed her avatar in years Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Beyond Thunderdome Posts: 1,234	Did she go to the hospital and have a rape kit done? Did she report the incident to law enforcement? It's so easy to have sexual assault within a couple dismissed as a "lovers' spat." Even an exam in an emergency room wouldn't show much--his lawyer could argue that they just "liked it kinky" and she was accusing him of sexual assault to get back at him for something. Anyway, if they haven't given her an actual gag order, she can broadcast her story on the Internet. She wouldn't be violating the restraining order if someone who happened to go to that college stumbled onto her blog or website and got her version of events--after all, she wasn't "talking" to that person at all. (If she does that, though, there is a risk that the college will sue her for libel. Either way, though, it does make the public more aware that the college may have something to hide.) There were a few cases of sexual assault on campus when I was in college, but they were, of course, hushed up, and the administration wouldn't allow us to print anything about it in the student newspaper, which frustrated me to no end. One fraternity in particular was notorious for being involved in sexual assaults, but the administration had a "boys will be boys" mentality about it, and the people who were assaulted were too scared of the fraternity and the administration to try to alert the public about what happened to them.