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12-29-2010, 08:35 PM
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Niqo Niqo Nii~
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,240
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Nique Reviews Janurary 2011 Television Progrums
It has occurred to me that, like much of our generation, I know WAY too much about television. Of course, having worked in the industry doesn't hurt (and when I say 'worked in the industry', I mean 'cashier at Blockbuster'). In any case, after a while I've started to become something of an armchair-tv critic. So pop in a microwave dinner, sit yourself down 3 inches away from the screen and enjoy my review of up-and-coming network and cable television coming your way next year!
Shameless Showtime, January 9th Did you enjoy fun shows about dysfunctional family life like Malcolm in the Middle, or Raising Hope but always wished that it was more depressing? Or that there were even MORE obnoxious children, or that the Dad was dumber/ drunker/ more useless? Well, I guess this is the show for you then. This probably-depressingly-true-to-life American remake of the BBC's long running Shameless aims to make you laugh at a bunch of neglected children picking up the scraps of their father's addiction-riddled life. Truly in this show will beat the heart of American comedy, which is of course laughing at caricatures of the poor. Episodes Showtime, January 9th Actor Matt LeBlanc stars in this tv show about actor Matt LeBlanc in a tv show about... uh. Hm. I'm not sure how many iterations this show contains so we'll stop there. But I mean, hey ok way to be clever! Just don't strain yourself Hollywood - it's not everyday we get to see a tv show about a tv show, especially not one starring former Friends cast members! Lights Out FX, January 11th Boxing blah blah blah fighting blah blah blah drama blah blah blah. Hey, here's an idea. Instead of watching a tv-drama about boxing, why don't I just watch an HBO Boxing match? Is it even possible for a show to miss the point that much? But I mean, I guess I can understand FX's commitment to airing shows that no one watches or cares about. Not even wikipedia. Bob's Burgers FOX, January 9th Fox's latest Simpson's knockoff is coming straight at you on Fox's Sunday Night Animation Holocaust. The sad thing is that even if, by some outrageous mIrAcLe, this show is actually good, Fox will still cancel it. But seriously this show is sure to join the pantheon of terrible animated shows that were given horrible life and a painful humiliating death by the Fox network. Being Human I guess it makes sense that SyFy would slowly evolve into the crappy American version of BBC America, but the minute they cash in on an American version of Doctor Who, I am going to kill myself. I am going to literally turn into a ghost and haunt anyone and everyone associated with the SyFy network. Fairly Legal USA, January 20th There's just a ton of faux pas happening here. For one, you can't just completely lift a character for a TV show like this. The 'single female lawyer' character isn’t exactly a classic trope to base your totally original idea on. Also, isn't there something kind of ironic about a legal drama that is literally stealing the entire concept of another legal drama? Lead actress Sarah Shahi tells us that her character is "unconventional", "cheeky" and "flirty" and that this won't be your 'normal' legal drama. No shit it's not a 'normal' show! It is instead, apparently, a huge metaphor for copyright infringement! Either that or it's a pretty elaborate nod to Futurama. Single Female Lawyer! Spartacus: Gods of the Arena Starz, January 21st I was going to talk about how maybe this show ignores the homoeroticism of the era (among other things). But with so many men walking around with waxed nipples I guess there's not much more to say. The Cape NBC, January 9th Not to be confused with the 1996 series about Astronauts (actually kind of an interesting idea), The Cape looks to give us a lame Batman-Clone. Can NBC jump the shark for an entire genre? Find out, this January on NBC! Source: Channel Guide Magazine
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Last edited by Nique; 12-29-2010 at 11:31 PM. |
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12-31-2010, 02:28 PM
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Speed-Suit
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Bronies are the new Steampunk
Posts: 2,129
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This thread is literally the worst idea in the world and you should feel bad.
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12-31-2010, 06:08 PM
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I am the One
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Infinate Layers of the Abyss
Posts: 533
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Hey you forgot about:
V: January 4, 2011, ABC Will the Visitors lay down the smack, and conquer Earth's sorry ass? Find out next time on the next V!
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Naive Optimist |
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12-31-2010, 06:34 PM
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Niqo Niqo Nii~
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,240
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That is, they need to know how sarcastic I am about television. EDIT: Just for clarity, is it the worst idea because these are all terrible tv shows and you dont want to know about them, or becuase I am kill the very concept of humor with these my ill-concieved rants? Quote:
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01-01-2011, 11:49 AM
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Archer and Armstrong vs. the World
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 7,164
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Why would Spartacus Gods of the Arena not be homoerotic, the first season had a subplot of the gay gladiator falling in love with the gay slave servant guy but then having to choose between spending the money he won on paying for his own freedom or staying behind with the slave because he didn't have enough for both. he chooses to leave and the slave is raped by this other gladiator guy and commits suicide It was really sad and really homoerotic at the same time.
I will probably watch The Cape, but seeing as how it's like "circus performer gets magic cape to fight bad guys with" I have the feeling it is either already attempting to be somewhat satirical, in which case it might be alright, or else it's totally serious and will be such a horrible trainwreck that it will have to be funny for at least one episode.
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The Valiant Review |
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01-01-2011, 11:52 AM
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bOB iZ brOkeN
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: It's a nice place to visit...
Posts: 3,755
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I suppose if you don't count the opener movie, Young Justice will be starting in January.
SWB
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:bmage: Because breakdancing is evil, and so am I, you will click on this link: You are in error. No one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation. Yes I know the breakdancing BM link doesn't work, and I don't care.
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01-01-2011, 11:56 AM
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The Straightest Shota
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: It's a secret to everybody.
Posts: 17,789
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01-01-2011, 12:32 PM
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Sent to the cornfield
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: K-space
Posts: 9,758
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You're just sad that you secretely love Twilight but are afraid to admit it.
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01-01-2011, 12:57 PM
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The Straightest Shota
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: It's a secret to everybody.
Posts: 17,789
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Team Jacob for life.
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01-01-2011, 07:15 PM
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Niqo Niqo Nii~
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 6,240
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I mean, how do you go from awkward vaguely anti-semetic depiction of a pre-pubescent fish mutant ...  His name is Garth ...to this urbanized mer-man version of Dennis Rodman  Not even joking, his name is Jackson Now, I'm not complaining that they wanted to make 'Young Justice' 'ethnically diverse' but that just straight up isn't Aqualad. They couldn't just throw in Static Shock or someone who was actually concieved as a Black Superhero? 'No, no, let's pick the least significant sidekick and make him mexican or something.' Quote:
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Linear Mode
