The difference between Men and Women...

[MP37a]

Shopping is another things that would be different. Women browse more than men. Men go into a store knowing what they want to get they get it then leave. They don't usually shop around.

Oh and Rai 2 bottles of spirits a day isn't anything compared to some of the girls I've seen drink around here. This one girl I know for instance I don't think I ever saw her before when she didn't have alcohol of some sort on her. And I saw her a lot. lol If she could she'd probably carry around an IV full of vodka I swear it's really bad.

EDIT: That's odd Jon about the fighting. haha It's just the opposite around here. The women argue on and on forever. While the guys just beat the hell out of each other to resolve differences then right afterwards they are like best friends again. lol

[RaiRai]

MP37a, don't judge. When I say bottles of spirits, I mean the large shit you get top shelf in the off license. I'm not judging myself up against anyone elses problems, but being told my problem wasn't that bad just pisses me off. No-one other than myself and my friends know how bad it was.

And about girls bathrooms, yeah, they rock. =3

[synkr0nized]

Women are far more attractive. Usually.

[behemoth]

my question is... was the friend hot?

[JoeCB]

Just a couple jokes I have. I have seen none of this actually happen. No Flames. this is for Entertaiment Perpeses only.

Please note that banks are installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them when you use the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE

* 1 Drive up to the cash machine.
* 2 Put down your car window.
* 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
* 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
* 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
* 6 Put window up
* 7 Drive off

FEMALE PROCEDURE

* 1 Drive up to cash machine
* 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
* 3 Set parking Break, Put the window down
* 4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
* 5 Turn the radio down
* 6 Attempt to insert card into machine
* 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
* 9 Insert card
* 10 Re-insert card the right way up
* 11 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
* 12 Enter PIN.
* 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
* 14 Enter amount of cash required
* 15 Check make up in rear view mirror
* 16 Retrieve cash and receipt
* 17 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
* 18 Place receipt in back of checkbook
* 19 Re-check make-up again
* 20 Drive forwards 2 feet
* 21 Reverse back to cash machine
* 22 Retrieve card
* 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
* 24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers queuing behind
* 24 Restart stalled engine and pull off
* 25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
* 26 Release Parking Break.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make mental note...Must do more sit-ups.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
Wash your hair with Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner, enhanced with natural avocado oil.
Leave on hair for five minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes, until red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair. You must make sure that it has all come off.
Shave armpits and legs.
Consider shaving bikini area, but decide to get it waxed instead.
Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
Turn off shower.
Apply after-shower body oil.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel making a turban.
Apply scented talcum powder followed by a fine mist of perfume.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel turban on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover any exposed areas, then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her, making the "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs. (No)
Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
Get in shower.
Don't bother to look for a washcloth... You don't use one.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
Fart in the shower & laugh at how loud and stinky it is.
Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt using your wife's aloe & lavender facial soap, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the bar.
Shampoo your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Do not use conditioner.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
Pee. (in the shower).
Rinse off and get out of the shower.
Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex muscles. Admire the wiener size again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
Leave bathroom fan and light on.
Return to the bedroom naked drying off hair on the way.
If you pass your wife, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

[Static Hamster]

Here's a fun fact. No matter how big a woman's purse is, it will be filled. If a woman buys a bigger purse, that space is almost instantly filled by new things. Why is this?

Another Fun Fact. Making fun of your friends and putting them down lightheartedly is part of male bonding and not meant to be taken seriously in anyway. Men seem to enjoy the ability to have a good comeback. I don't see many women do this.

Oh oh oh and the best one. Women are more comfortable with sexuality then men. Usually a girls locker room conversations are far rauchier then mens.

Oh and no, I have yet to see a lingerie dorm room pillow fight if I only had one wish....

[Funka Genocide]

I may regret this later, but I'll bite on this topic...

Difference between men and women? let me see... boobs! no thats not it, hmmm. oh yes! now I remember!

There are two forces which define existence, change and the staus quo, transistasis and homeostasis. To put it another way, in order for a system to continue existing, it must both adapt to its environment and maintain a certain level of "normalcy". In the system of humanity, men embody change, adaptation, violence and chaos. Women embody the status quo, tradition, comfort and peace. this is not to say that individuals can not stray from the ideal, just that the vast majority of people fall into these categories. It's only natural. thats my take on the situation anyways.

and on a side note, I didn't get drunk until I was sixteen, I was living a few hundred miles away from my family after dropping out of high school. I lived in a crappy ass little room with a bunch of stoners and almost ended up getting in a fight with one of them on multiple occassions. however my undeniable charisma and likeable nature (geheh?) ended up converting them all, and about a week before I left Reno (that's where I was, being a cook =) they invited me out to have some drinks with them. After a few mickeys' tall boys and a couple shots of goldschlagger, I was tanked. I ended up running into a group of proscillitating children ( I guess they were there to save some souls in the middle of the night) I expressed my deepest gratitude for there attempts and my esteem for those who haven't lost there faith, then made it evident that I was not one to be converted by saying "I, however do not believe in the myth of christ, so take your fiendish wares elsewhere!" I then promptly stumbled over a mailbox. just a little story.

[MP37a]

Though I hate to admit women are generally more intelligent that of the average man. Well that's been my experience anyhow. lol But the really big genius ppl of the world are men but they are a minority like me.

[cellar_door]

ok after living a year with an equil mix of both these are my observations:

in general
1)women actualy go to the lectures
2)women are cleaner, but want more creature comforts
3)women dwell on things (grudges, small problems, questions)
4)women talk about their problems (sometimes a bit too much)
5)women will talk about you behind your back (if a guy has got a problem with you you'll get to know
6)women are easier to get along with because they are more open

of course there are women who dont do these things and men who do but to just generalise

[Lunarshadow]

Were I come from women are constintly fighting. I've seen a friend of mine cry because of something that was said to her by another friend and the next day there inseperable.

I've also heard that women actually talk to each other in the locker rooms, men just change and try not to look around.