Let's Play FF6 3: The Revenge

[404]

Oh wow. I was just talking about dressing up as Pennywise earlier to scare kids on Halloween. I agree wholeheartedly with the "It" name.

[EvilFuzzy9]

I, too, vote for it!:whee:

[Kerensky287]

Oh, ummm..... hi. Right. This thread.

...Yeah. Shit.

Sorry it's been a week since the last update. I have no good excuses that I feel comfortable sharing, so.... DISTRACTION TIME!

~Chapter 29~

Quick recap summary because we hit a plot decision.

-The world ended. It's Kefka's fault, and to a lesser extent, Silly's.
-Store and Cid survived and lived alone in a house in the middle of the ocean.
-Cid died.
-Store tried to kill herself, but then decided to be a love-starved twit again and go find Cocke.
-Store found a raft Cid had been hiding in the basement for no good reason.
-Store went across the sea to a good-sized landmass where she found Ahnuld randomly.
-Store saved a baby from certain doom.
-Store and Ahnuld decided to kill Kefka to distract them from the fact that their world is in ruins.

And now on to the next thingy.



I really hate when people say this. It's their perfect way of screwing you over. It suggests that 1) they won't even TRY to repay you and 2) you, being the hero, of course won't care because you're a nice person and all that. It's a one-two punch of greed and conscience.

Of course, we aren't under any obligation to help these people ever again, and knowing what we know now, we never will.

Let's see what information we can wrest from their greedy little minds though before we go, right?



Mobliz.... Mobliz... Doesn't really ring a bell.



A monster, you say? I guess that's a good enough reason to go.



And I guess if Mobliz sucks as much as it sounds we can just head to Nikeah instead. There was a prostitute there last time. This trip may not be a TOTAL loss.



...Wow. What a dump.



Hey! It's Interceptor and some kind of Interceptor clone!

...Or maybe they're BOTH clones. We'll never know the truth, I guess.



The plot thickens.



Hey, wait... I remember this place, kinda.



There were these two teenagers up there who never said anything when you talked to them. Just stared and said "...".

Oh, and wasn't there...?



Heh! Yeah, that one guy who wanted me to do a whole bunch of crap for him and I never did? I bet he killed himself from loneliness. Serves him right, lazy bastard.

Better follow that one kid, I guess.



Well, yeah, technically.

But so can Cocke.

Technically.





Hey! Another coincidental meeting with a party member! Sweet. Now all 3 of us can go take down that omnicidal jerkass!



...Mama?

......She's pregnant or something?





Also, REVENGE!



Bitch loses interest and walks off.



Store: "Yeah, I know. You unequipped all of your stuff before falling off the Blackjack. I'm keeping Ultima Weapon, but if you want you can have this Blood Sword I found."









Really? Because it looks to me like they just kinda fell down. The kids would have been fine regardless of whether they had been there or not.





Hey, it's that one bastard teenager!

We're taking her and there's nothing you can do about it, dickweed. You don't like it, go write about it on your LiveJournal.





Magic powers?

Didn't Ganon's Castle work that way too a few times? Because I'm pretty sure it has NEVER worked out in the end.





"There are so many bad things happening to them... and yet, I can't laugh about it! I must have burst my funny valve!"



That's not compassion. That's a tapeworm.



Ask your doctor about it.



Ah! So it's like a finger-trap, then! The trick is to do the opposite. Maybe look for a question, instead? Then you'll get your strength back.

Of course, a sharp object helps too. The sword offer still stands.



...No response.



Ahahaha! Tragic.

Let's head to Nikeah.





Oh, right. The monster.







Okay, so the party has to beat Humbaba now? Easy peasy.



....Or just one unarmed, unarmoured Bitch.





Foregone conclusion.

Serves her right, I guess.



Now let's show Bitch how it's SUPPOSED to be done.



First, you hit them with your strongest weapon. It helps to do more than 0 damage.



Then you hit them with your offhand weapon.



And then sometimes you hit them with your offhand weapon's secondary frost damage characteristic for a bit of extra bite.



That wasn't so hard now, was it?





Ahnuld can help too sometimes.



Humbaba runs off in fear.

And THAT is how you handle ancient horrors.





SWORDS, Bitch! Swords!

It REALLY helps to have a weapon equipped when you go up alone against an elder god!



Frankly, you're going to be even less of a help to the children because you won't accept any help.



Gah. Useless.





Neat, a consolation prize.

Still, it would be cool if we ACTUALLY GOT A PARTY MEMBER.



What a stupid fucking town.



Here's where the party's at. Pun intended.



Oh, hey! ...You! I.... uh, I totally remember you! Yeah.



Bet you it's useless information.





....

"HEY GUYS! Did you know that there are ESPERS in this game? And if you find them you can USE THEM?"

Press B to run, asshole.



Heh. I remember those guys. I also remember one falling to his death comically way back when the world wasn't blown up.



...Really? Figaro buried underground and couldn't get back up? Oh wow. If I didn't totally call this I should have.

Now, on to business.



...It's going to be hard to get a lap dance with all these convicts around.



"He's got almost Edward Elric looks... Squeeeeee!"



Uh oh. I'm being tailed by a horde of robbers and pickpockets. Act casual.



...And they walk past. I guess they WEREN'T following me.



Right. The boat. So I guess there's no chance of this thing taking me to the next section of the game? Damn.



Oh well. May as well backtra-

...Wait a second. Isn't that...?



Oh, I see. Simple case of mistaken identity. This is not the man we're looking for. This man clearly has balls.



...Still, he looks gullible enough to let us sneak onto his ship unnoticed...











Awesome.



At last, free of that useless continent!



I find it impressive that everyone managed to stay hidden. The party kind of stands out, what with the utter lack of eyepatches.



Also, it appears that South Figaro has abandoned their previous defensive plan. That one obstructive fellow has long since deserted.



South Figaro Cave... this must be where the convicts went. But there's some dude blocking my way.





Vile monsters? Pfffft! Nothing we can't handle, right?



...Right?





Oh I'm sure it's nothing.



AHHHHH OH GOD RUN



Thank goodness for that recovery spring. Too bad there seems to be a lineup this time.









Gerad: "Also completely useless. I should have you killed for wasting our time. Everyone else, hurry up and get in that entrance there. Be sure to step on the turtle as you go."



Holy shit. What a badass.

COMPLETELY different from that wuss Eunuch.



And Siegfried follows them on his neverending quest for souls. Or redemption, depending on which Soul Calibur you played.



I wonder if the bandits came through here.



Oh wow. Look at that Gerad... checking the pulses of all the people lying around! I bet he's just seeing if they're alive so he can sell them on the slave market. Or maybe he's going to suck out their blood and sell THAT! What a magnificent bastard!

I'm following him. At the very least he'll make a competent boss battle.



Oh, right. The engine's broken. Maybe we can fix that too while we're here.



"This is the worst tentacle-related incident I've seen since Legend of the Overfiend. And that's not an experience I'd like to repeat."







Oh man! A heroic last stand! SO badass!



....

.........

....wut



This monster fight is ludicrous, easy...



...and maybe a little suggestive.



That wasn't so bad.





Dude, it doesn't matter. You're not as cool anymore now that you're not Gerad.



...I dunno... 3's a crowd, and it's a crowd I'm not certain I'd like to share with Eunuch. Gerad, on the other hand...





Okay, Figaro is restored to normal! I give it like 3 days tops before Kefka decides to light it on fire in revenge for the "barbeque" incident way back when.

I guess that means we have just that much time to KICK HIS ASS. *guitar solo*


Also, if anyone wants me to change Eunuch's name to Gerad by any chance, I could always try to cheat in a Rename Card.... >:3

And as a closing note... how did I miss the second half of this on my first readthrough of the archives?!

[Drouth]

Originally Posted by Kerensky287

Also, if anyone wants me to change Eunuch's name to Gerad by any chance, I could always try to cheat in a Rename Card.... >:3

And as a closing note... how did I miss the second half of this on my first readthrough of the archives?!

It wouldn't be the same, let's just remember Gerad for what he was.

Because you couldn't handle the awesome.

[Amake]

That's some hilarious shit right there. "Press B to run, asshole" has the makings of a classic catchphrase. Maybe if Clint Eastwood got stuck in an RPG. . .

[CelesJessa]

Originally Posted by Kerensky287

I really hate when people say this. It's their perfect way of screwing you over. It suggests that 1) they won't even TRY to repay you and 2) you, being the hero, of course won't care because you're a nice person and all that. It's a one-two punch of greed and conscience.

Actually, I think it might be legitimate with this family. I mean, they just lost their house and all of their belongings. I'm not sure exactly what they COULD give you.



Anyway, keep up the good work, yo.

[Kerensky287]

Originally Posted by CelesJessa

Actually, I think it might be legitimate with this family. I mean, they just lost their house and all of their belongings. I'm not sure exactly what they COULD give you.

Hmm... well, all they have left is:

1) Themselves. I think slavery was mentioned at some point.
2) The clothes on their backs. The mother wasn't TOO bad looking.
3) The rubble left over from their house. Who knows, maybe we could've used it to build a new airship or something? Maybe?

...Actually I think my original intent was to point out all of the stuff I stole from their house before it collapsed, including the awesome Blood Sword which drains health, making it excellent to use in conjunction with the Ultima Weapon. Who knows? I was really tired and it has been a weird day to say the least. (Sorry about the various... umm, dickery. While we're talking about the weird day.)

Hey, at least there's a chance that the next one will be done in LESS than a week!

[Lord Setheris]

This continues to own.

[Kerensky287]

Originally Posted by Kerensky287

Hey, at least there's a chance that the next one will be done in LESS than a week!

....Eheheheheh... yeah. Midterms, mirite?

Luckily though, I've got an easy one tomorrow. I did some studying, went to my neighbours' room, watched them play Metroid Prime for a bit and realized halfway through my 15th-or-so smartass comment that I missed doing Let's Play. So, here it is, and it's all thanks to structured procrastination!

We begin where we left off...



...in the middle of a desperate fight against cancer.

Actually no, we were in Figaro. Gerad turned out to be slightly less manly than we thought (It was Eunuch. Who could've guessed) and now we have a castle that can drill underground. We would probably have tried to take on Kefka by now, but who wants to climb that dump of a tower he has? So we're following the linear path set out for us.

But first... TALKING TO PEOPLE FROM FIGARO AGAIN!



...The cult of Kefka? Why would anyone want to do that?



Sounds like a quest! Hmm... a loved one.... who do we know that specializes in lovin'? Damn, where's Hefner when you need him!

Whatever. Hi ho Castle, away!



We come out near this town. I vaguely remember it having nothing of use except one little cutscene. Still, may as well ask if anyone's seen a Player Character.



...

...

...Frog?

Oh, right. They removed Frog's olde english speech. So it can't be him. Also I don't think amphibians have facial hair. Too bad, I guess.

Let's head to that one house with useful stuff in it.



Well, look! Cocke's dead fiancee survived! In a sense!



"That great destroyer of evil, the Master Sword. Only the one who wields the Master Sword can defeat the King of Darkness."



"Unless you get there first. In which case, you may have to wait a while. This plan also assumes he survived at all, which is a stretch considering that the apocalypse was a year ago."

Well, there goes that idea. Oh well. While we're here...



...I would like to point out that Rachel appears to have grown quite the fancy mustache.

Normally I'd assume those are eyes, but as you can see from the side-by-side comparison, they're a little low for eyes. Anybody know the story behind that messed up sprite? Am I just seeing it wrong?



Hey, they have an Inn! And a pub! Not only do they have fluffy beds, but they also have alcohol! We can wake up warm and cozy with a hangover for the first time in a year!



...

...Way too expensive.





It's too bad this town is so useless. There wasn't even a character encounter. Oh well.







Thanks for noticing.



"We're heading to the pub for drinks and ping pong after. It'll be fun."



Store: "You're missing out."









Hefner is slitting his wrists.







"Everything is darkness. Life is pain. *flips hair*"





Hefner: "Since I realized how conformist the world is, I started to feel for all the dead people in the world, you know? They've got it right. They're the only ones who understand me.

I'm going to become a necromancer."







...



Hefner: "What?"

Store: "...A necromancer? What the fuck is wrong with you?"



Flying zombies then?



Later on, at the tomb entrance.



How the hell are we going to get in? It's just a solid cliff face.

...Wait! That song!











Thanks, Frog!

Frog: ""



What? It's just a gravesite, isn't it?



...Wow, this is pretty elaborate.







...so we carve the word "CUNT" into it instead.



Man, you know what's great about graverobbing? All the mounds of treasure you find.



Oh shit!



Hey, I remember this guy... from a simpler, SMALLER time...



...Except now he's got a treasure chest for a mouth, so he must be even more tough! And we don't even have Fire Beam to help us anymore!







...Screw the rules, I have money.

Because money buys new weapons, y'see.

Farther along in the dungeon...



...Oh.

It's a statue.



....It's touching. It almost brings a tear to my eye.

You know what? Forget this. No necromancy, no graverobbing. We're going to leave well enough alone. We should at least have respect for the d-



WAAAAAH OH MY GAWD



ZOMBIE!! KILL IT!!



I would like to take this opportunity to point out a badass combination.

Ultima Weapon, which does damage based on how much health you have.



And Blood Sword, which steals health from the enemy it hits.



It's useful against pretty much anything, zombies included.



Killing the zombie opened up a secret door for some reason. Let's go through!



...You've been here before?



Oh, a cutscene! Better go up for a better view.













Past-Hef: "Speaking of which, do you need to go to the bathroom soon? It's been a few hours."













The answer is yes.





"Man, this is the life! Nothing could ever happen to screw this up."









When she did not arrive by sunset, Hef resolved to throw himself from the north cliff in despair.

He never gathered up the courage to actually do it though.





...So he built this entire dungeon on his own, filled it with monsters, traps and puzzles, and then sealed over the entrance? Nobody helped him with this? Now THAT'S dedication. Or maybe just crazy preparation.

Because we just happened to need a spare airship.



Hef: "Yep. She's the fastest ship in the fleet, and..."





When Hefner took hold of the wheel of the Falcon, he felt an amazing transformation come over him. He was no longer merely Hef, captain of the Blackjack.

He had become Captain Falcon.



His next thought was that maybe hiding an airship dock underwater wasn't such a great idea.

Weeks later, after the repairs were completed and injuries healed...





Right. We need to make sure everyone's alive. We can help protect everyone, stop this Cult of Kefka, and start some resistance against that crazy clown! We're stronger together than we are apart, so finding our friends is the top priority! We'll start searching north and...



...and...





Why not, Hefner... why not.

~~~~

Alright! That felt pretty good. We have a few options now that we aren't restricted to the linear pathway...

1) Go to Maranda. That chick who mentioned a guy with a mustache said he may have been heading that way.
2) Go to the Veldt. You get stronger on the Veldt.
3) There are rumours of something called a Coliseum... maybe we should check that place out? It sounds hardcore.
4) Head to Jidoor. Maybe the Opera house is still working?
5) Try to peer pressure Bitch back into the party.
6) Who cares? Explore.

There are a few other things we can do, but these are the simplest. We can probably accomplish one or two per chapter.

Voting begins.... now.

Next chapter will be quicker this time. SERIOUSLY.

[bananarama]

Bitch! Err... I meant bring Bitch back.