FF Crystal Bearers: Wherein NonCon can't see a goddamn motherfucking thing

[Kim]

Okay, seriously what the fucking shit is up with this goddamn camera. Moving through corridors is like someone taking a ballpoint pen and alternating which eye they fucking stab you in. The platforming has potential, and the combat isn't completely terrible but seriously guys THIS FUCKING CAMERA.

Fucking Christ I cannot remember the last time I saw a camera this terrible. I am desperately searching for a worse example of cameraman-ness than what is in this game.

Past that, it's mildly fun to dick around, and I liked throwing people down the garbage chute. I don't give a damn about the plot, and wish there was some actual combat beyond "Throw shit, motherfucker!" but it wouldn't be half bad if it weren't for the camera.

[Bells]

To be honest, i found it boring.

Yes, the camera is fucking terrible, and the combat and platforming mildly amusing. I also liked the main character, Layle... actually for some reason, the subtitle says Layle, even though everyone in the game keeps saying it like it was "Leo" for some god damn reason...

The game looks good, voice acting is actually pretty nice and the story seems to have potetion to actually go somewhere.... but i could'nt care for it. I just kept thinking "Fuck this, i have Chocobo Mystery Dungeon..."

[Mirai Gen]

Looked this game up on YouTube.

I want to know why it looked like Final Fantasy Xtreme Beach Volleyball for no reason for like 10 seconds.

[phil_]

Originally Posted by Mirai Gen

Looked this game up on YouTube.

I want to know why it looked like Final Fantasy Xtreme Beach Volleyball for no reason for like 10 seconds.

Because Belle, the worst character in the game. She's worse than the camera.

Speaking of the camera, by about the time I first rode the shuttle I was using the d-pad to steer and the analog stick was for moving forward. This mostly solved my camera problems, though the fights in the Areal Prison still end up being "Shit! Shit! Where are the robots oh god!" moments.

[Mirai Gen]

Holy fuck this got 30/40 from Famitsu. Why. Maybe the voice actors are less painful in Japanese but goddamn.

[Kim]

Originally Posted by Mirai Gen

Holy fuck this got 30/40 from Famitsu. Why. Maybe the voice actors are less painful in Japanese but goddamn.

If you think Famitsu could give a Squeenix game a bad score you are fucking kidding yourself.

[Kim]

Originally Posted by phil_

Speaking of the camera, by about the time I first rode the shuttle I was using the d-pad to steer and the analog stick was for moving forward. This mostly solved my camera problems, though the fights in the Areal Prison still end up being "Shit! Shit! Where are the robots oh god!" moments.

I suppose that could work, though the camera would still be shit, but trying to constantly use the d-pad while having your trigger finger on B feels really awkward because the d-pad is positioned just a tad bit too far forward on the Wiimote for that.

EDIT: On the plus side, I've been needing a game to review that I can get really pissed about so this is sort of a blessing in disguise.

[Loyal]

Because Belle, the worst character in the game. She's worse than the camera.

Ugh, yes. Useless, screechy, narcissistic twit.

To clarify on the beach Xtreme Beach Volleyball bit, Selkie females have a game where they try to use their asses to knock each other off a buoyant platform (and while a wanted criminal referees, but hey details), to settle territory disputes and other things.

The aerial prison fight was ridiculously fun for me. It's a shame there weren't more enemies you could just rip apart like that instead of simply throwing (things at) them

[Mirai Gen]

Nightshine man I made you an avatar and everything! You need to use it!!!

Originally Posted by Loyal

To clarify on the beach Xtreme Beach Volleyball bit, Selkie females have a game where they try to use their asses to knock each other off a buoyant platform (and while a wanted criminal referees, but hey details), to settle territory disputes and other things.

That...that may be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

[Nightshine]

Why does anybody play this horrible franchise in the first place?