Deadly Dressings and Sauces

[Nique]

I am having an adventure in my room!

Picture the scene. Me, four corndogs, and this.

Oh it doesn't look very intimidating, does it? The innocent sailor-cap'd Beaver smiling wryly at you as you entertain thoughts of consuming the no doubt delicious contents of his "Tangy Squeeze" Sweet, Hot, Mustard container.

Little do you realize the flamey death that awaits you!

It's subtle at first. Tangy, sweet. Not unlike a Dijon. The corndog is succulant, the sauce is delicious... and then flames shoot out your nostrils and you fall to the floor, caught utterly unaware. No doubt assuming at this point that your brain is exploding or that your nasal cavity is randomly turning itself inside out, and that these painful few seconds will be the thing you ever expieriance.

After your ensure that your nose isn't gushing blood or there aren't any serious memoery lapses, your attention is focused now on the succubus-like mustard-dip before you, sure in the knowledge that you can tame her fiery passion...

Trust me. Each bite is absolutly, and amazingly more painful than the last.

[Mirai Gen]

One time my friends and I whipped up a concoction of wasabi, Kick in The Ass BBQ sauce, and mustard.

We put it on corndogs and nearly shit ourselves.

[Nique]

Holy cow that does sound bad. That will melt your tounge.

What's terrible about this stuff, is that after your throat, nose, and brain stop burning, the immediate reaction is 'hey that wasn't so bad, I bet I would like some more'.

It messes with you because the burn is like lighting one of those little propane tanks and shoving it up your nose, but it only lasts for like 5-10 seconds with no after-affects, except that you want more.

She let's you think you've got things under control but YOU DON'T MAN YOU JUST DON'T!

[Squishy Cheeks]

I make a sauce that is equal parts Ketchup, mustard, and Cholula for chicken fingers, it's bad ass.

[Satan's Onion]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

Whoa.

Wait up.

I like that stuff. I have it all the time on sandwiches and that. You do have to be a little careful in terms of how much you put on it (I try to also have mayonnaise on the sandwich whenever possible), but I think it's pretty good.

[greed]

I once imitated the opening of iron chef with a chili. That was fun.

I'm a fire eater though, my parents brought me up eating thai, curries and mexican, I don't eat potato chips without sprinkling pepper on them. I don't count something as spicy til your eyes are watering, your nose is running like a tap and something has started to go numb. Then I eat more. I've never encountered something too hot for me (well except that chili but that was just stupid).

There's this kebab sauce I have, it has a warning label for pregnant women, it burns on contact with your skin. It's good stuff.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I still remember getting noodles from this little asian supermarket that claimed to be "hot" flavour. Intrigued I tried some. Yes they were hot in some abstract temperature sense but they really tasted like hot would if hot had a taste. It seems bizarre I know. I was skeptical too. But I shared them around and the verdict was unanimous (apart from crazy Anton but he's crazy) that they tasted like hot.
Me I'm not so good with crazy hot stuff. Except wasabi. I can eat that stuff like peanut butter. I don't find it hot at all but I've had chillis before and they nearly killed me.

[Doppler12]

Greed defiantly has there right idea. Though I doubt I have the tolerances that I used to since the BW3s across the street shut down for remodeling. And I haven't really gone anywhere else lately...


Now look at me, making myself all depressed

[Meister]

Mustard will do that. It is your holy duty to open the container, hold it under your nose, inhale deeply and document the process.

[Nique]

Originally Posted by Satan's Onion

I like that stuff.

Like I said. Succubus.