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01-16-2006, 02:01 AM
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#1 |
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Still RaiRai's *****
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Shut up, KP.
Posts: 2,365
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New CheshireThief Original Song
Well, I write songs, as I am an aspiring musician. Anyway, I've been playing around with making my style sound a bit different from song to song, and I wanted to post a song I wrote today, actually, to see what everyone thinks. It's not quite complete, as I believe I should add a bit more guitar in there. Maybe an intro picked out part and/or a solo or something.
Two Shots Yeah. It's a bit darker and sad-sounding compared to most of my music. Lyrics, anyone? Code:
The bitter feelings that you've tasted Of emptiness and the life you've wasted You thought you loved, but you really hated It all gets so damned complicated But I'm now coming as a friend If you act now, regret the end I want to help you comprehend What is real and what's pretend Two shots and a family broken Lost memories left unspoken What's lost this day is never found Two shots to a broken home On your knees, you're all alone The instrument of undoing hits the ground... Your blood-shot eyes are blankly staring You're growing numb, you're so uncaring Your inner demons now are tearing Through the concealment of the mask you're wearing I came to you then as a friend You did it until the very end Why could you not comprehend What was real and what's pretend? Two shots and a family broken Lost memories left unspoken What's lost this day is never found Two shots to a broken home On your knees, you're all alone The instrument of undoing hits the ground... Your life had and has no meaning A broken man with a broken mind, A broken body, a broken life Your life had and has no meaning Two shots and a family broken Lost memories left unspoken What's lost this day is never found Two shots to a broken home On your knees, you're all alone The instrument of undoing hits the ground... Two shots and a family broken Two shots and a family broken Two shots and a family broken Two shots to a broken home
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Holy crap! A CheshireThief spotting! |
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01-16-2006, 02:12 AM
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#2 |
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for all seasons
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 19,409
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It's no 'hey-a', is all I have to say.
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check out my buttspresso
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01-16-2006, 02:26 AM
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#3 | |
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Still RaiRai's *****
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Shut up, KP.
Posts: 2,365
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Quote:
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Holy crap! A CheshireThief spotting! |
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01-16-2006, 04:38 AM
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#4 |
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Sent to the cornfield
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 4,566
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I think maybe if you recorded the vocals on a seperate track from the guitar your voice wouldn't get overpowered.
maybe |
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01-16-2006, 03:40 PM
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#5 |
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The End of Evolution
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Some call it hell; I call it home.
Posts: 1,822
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Very different from most of your songs. It also seems like sometimes that your guitar overshadows the lyrics. This may personal preference, but I don't think that's a good thing.
It's pretty nice. Keep at it.
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And this world's smartest man means no more to me than does its smartest termite. ~Dr. Manhattan
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01-16-2006, 05:42 PM
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#6 |
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Administrator
Join Date: May 2005
Location: East Coast
Posts: 6,806
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o,O
Not what I would expect from you, Cheshire. The quality is superb. The style is unusual for you. Me likes!
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"FENRIS IS AN ASSHOLE" - shiney
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01-16-2006, 02:25 AM
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#7 | |
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Wat
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Amongst the dead
Posts: 2,716
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Wow. That is why I will never be able to write lyrics. I mean, when it has to have meaning that is. But really. Sounds cool.
Quote:
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Hybrid Mode
