Indiana Jones and the Something of Something

Ryanderman · 05-18-2008, 06:39 PM

Threadsurrection! Since it's coming out this week. EDIT - nevermind, apparently the powers that be decided it was better as a seperate thread. Sorry about that.

The movie premiered at Cannes, so reviews have started coming in. It's got 77% fresh on rottentomatoes, but it was 73% five minutes ago and 60% earlier today, so I expect it to keep going up as more reviews come in.

But there's really only one reviewer I ever put much stock in. Even when I disagree with him, I can see where Roger Ebert's coming from, and I always respect his reviews. Of course he openly admits to being an Indiana Jones fanboy, so his positive review is pretty biased. But I'm a fan too, so it's encouraging.

His review has some minor spoilers, but nothing not seen or hinted at in the trailers:
By Roger Ebert

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." Say it aloud. The very title causes the pulse to quicken, if you, like me, are a lover of pulp fiction. What I want is goofy action--lots of it. I want man-eating ants, swordfights between two people balanced on the backs of speeding jeeps, subterranean caverns of gold, vicious femme fatales, plunges down three waterfalls in a row, and the explanation for flying saucers. And throw in lots of monkeys.
The Indiana Jones movies exist in a universe of their own. Hell, they created it. All you can do is compare one to the other three. And even then, what will it get you? If you eat four pounds of sausage, how do you choose which pound tasted the best? Well, the first one, of course, and then there's a steady drop-off of interest. That's why no Indy adventure can match "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981). But if "Crystal Skull" (or "Temple of Doom" from 1984 or "Last Crusade" from, 1989) had come first in the series, who knows how much fresher it might have seemed? True, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" stands alone as an action masterpiece, but after that the series is compelled to be, in the words of Indiana himself, "same old same old." Yes, but that's what I it to be.
"Crystal Skull" even dusts off the Russians, so severely under- exploited in recent years, as the bad guys. Up against them, Indiana Jones is once again played by Harrison Ford, who is now 65 but looks a lot like he did at 55 or 46, which is how old he was when he made "Last Crusade." He has one of those Robert Mitchum faces that doesn't age, it only frowns more. He and his sidekick Mac McHale (Ray Winstone) are taken by the cool, contemptuous Soviet uber-villainess Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) to a cavernous warehouse to seek out a crate he saw there years ago. The contents of the crate are hyper- magnetic (lord, I love this stuff) and betray themselves when Indy throws a handful of gunpowder into the air.
In ways too labyrinthine to describe, the crate leads Indy, Mac, Irina and the Russians far up the Amazon. Along the way they've gathered Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), Indy's girlfriend from the first film, and a young biker named Mutt Williams (Shia LeBeouf), who is always combing his ducktail haircut. They also acquire Professor Oxley (John Hurt), elderly colleague from the University of Chicago, whose function is to read all the necessary languages, know all the necessary background, and explain everything.
What happens in South America is explained by the need to create (1) sensational chase sequences, and (2) awe-inspiring spectacles. We get such spectacles as two dueling Jeep-like vehicles racing down parallel roads. Not many of the audience members will be as logical as I am, and wonder who went to the trouble of building parallell roads in a rain forest. Most of the major characters eventually find themselves at the wheels of both vehicles; they leap or are thrown from one to another, and the vehicles occasionally leap right over one another. And that Irina, she's something. Her Russian backups are mostly just atmosphere, useful for pointing their rifles at Indy, but she can fight shoot, fence, drive, leap and kick, and keep on all night.
All leads to the discovery of a subterranean chamber beneath an ancient Pyramid, where they find an ancient city made of gold and containing...but wait, I forgot to tell you they found a crystal skull in a crypt. Well sir, it's one of 13 crystal skulls, and the other 12 are in that chamber. When the set is complete, amazing events take place. Prof. Oxley carries the 13th skull for most of the time, and finds it repels man-eating ants. It also represents one-thirteenth of all knowledge about everything, leading Irina to utter the orgasmic words, "I want...to know!" In appearance, the skull is a cross between the aliens of the Special Edition of Spielberg's "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and the hood ornaments of 1950s Pontiacs.
What is the function of the chamber? "It's a portal--to another dimension!" Oxley says. Indy is sensible: "I don't think we wanna go that way." It is astonishing that the protagonists aren't all killed 20 or 30 times, although Irnia will beome The Women Who Knew Too Much. At his advanced age, Prof.Oxley tirelessly jumps between vehicles, survives fire and flood and falling from great heights, and would win on "American Gladiator." Relationships between certain other characters are of interest, since (a) the odds against them finding themselves together are astronomical, and (b) the odds against them not finding themselves together in this film are incalculable.
Now what else can I tell you, apart from mentioning the blinking red digital countdown, and the moving red line tracing a journey on a map? I can say that if you liked the other Indiana Jones movies, you will like this one, and that if you did not, there is no talking to you. And I can also say that a critic trying to place it into a heirarchy with the others would probably keep a straight face while recommending the second pound of sausage.

I'm excited and can't wait for this. Now only Dark Knight and Hellboy II need to be good to make this a perfect movie summer.

Professor Smarmiarty · 05-18-2008, 07:31 PM

I'm still undecided how I feel about this movie. I mean Indiana was cool back when I was young but I think it'll just be silly now.
And this still just feels like a huge cash-in to me, on the scale of "Won't it be awesome if we do this" rather than any concern for the series as a whole. Like for example I was ok with Rocky Balboa because Rocky 5 was such a downer and didn't fit with the rest of the series and so the last film helped improved the series as a whole. Rambo 4, however, was ridiculous waste. I feel similar ways about lots of aspects of the Star Wars prequels, the best example being "Wouldn't it be cool if R2D2 could fly, that would be awesome".
As further example, see every comic book ever made.

POS Industries · 05-18-2008, 09:05 PM

Dude, we get it. You hate everything.

I mean, I'm not passing judgment on this movie here or anything but come on already.

Professor Smarmiarty · 05-18-2008, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by POS Industries

Dude, we get it. You hate everything.

I mean, I'm not passing judgment on this movie here or anything but come on already.

But it's the fact that I love the original movies so much (except for Temple of Doom which wasn't as good as the other) that I'm so concerned about what's going to happen to them.
And I've never felt that George Lucas understands why people like his films and the more he makes the closer he comes to exploding it all.

Also: I totally love save points.

POS Industries · 05-18-2008, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barrel-Hating Sycophant

(except for Temple of Doom which wasn't as good as the other)

Yeah, okay, Temple of Doom did kinda suck.

But I dunno, I still have hope for this one. Conventional special effects and real sets have apparently been used more in this movie as opposed to CGI, the overuse of which I feel has become the Achilles' Heel of Lucas' more recent projects. I mean, yeah, corny dialogue too but that was always a property of Lucasfilm. I personally think it's easier for actors to really act when they're physically in the same environment as their characters.

But like I said they've hinted at aliens being involved somehow and so this can either turn out totally great or totally stupid. Still, my dad's excited so I'm taking him to see it. I expect to enjoy myself enough.

Savage Thinking · 05-18-2008, 09:12 PM

Since this thread was brought back up, I'd like to mention that there's already talk of a fifth Indy movie. Apparently, it would star Shia LeBeouf but having Indy come back similar to like his dad did in the Last Crusade. Leave it to our friendly neighborhood George Lucas to come up with such brilliant ideas for sequels..

mauve · 05-18-2008, 11:56 PM

Quote:

(except for Temple of Doom which wasn't as good as the other)

Agreed, Temple of Doom kind of sucked. The woman was freakin' annoying and the kid was useless AND freakin' annoying. But Harrison Ford was shirtless in that film more than any other Indy film, so that gets some points in my book for still being moderately worthwhile. Because Harrison Ford? Yeah. He was hot.

As for this upcoming film, I have mixed feelings. I loves me some Indiana Jones movies for their plots and action sequences and pseudo-archaeological awesomeness, but I hate movies where the director gently hints that he's gonna replace the main character with an annoying kid in the future. Somehow I don't see Shia LeBouf or whatever being a suitable trade-off for Harrison Ford. DEFINITELY not a fair trade.

I'm still gonna go see it, though, on the chance that it will in fact be awesome.

Still waiting for Hellboy II!!!

Regulus Tera · 05-19-2008, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mauve Mage

Because Harrison Ford? Yeah. He was hot.

Isn't he like 65 or something right now? I must give him credit for looking way younger.

I think this would be a bad time to confess the only Indy movie I've watched was The Temple of Doom. It put me off about looking for his other movies. If this one goes well I shall correct that.

water · 05-19-2008, 09:03 AM

I believe the Indiana Jones legacy should live on. Just like the undying James Bond. A lot of people still watch it even though the actors are always changing. Yeah sure, it may not be Indiana Jones anymore in the next 2, 3 or 12 sequels due to Harrison Ford's age, but someone has to take over! I'm sure George Lucas and Steven Spielberg can work something out, these guys are genuises with iconic films in their hands.

Now a good counterpoint would be the Star Wars prequels, however, you could conceed that the pair could pull it off in an amazing fashion with flair. Also Shia LaBeouf has to be at least a moderatly good at acting, otherwise Spielburg wouldn't have him for the role. This could be an amazing step up out of the Harrison Ford era of Indiana Jones, or a massive blunder that will ruin the entire franchise.

POS Industries · 05-19-2008, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by water

I believe the Indiana Jones legacy should live on. Just like the undying James Bond.

Oh man, no. No no no no no. The Indy character works mostly just because it's played by Harrison Ford. Take "Raiders of the Lost Ark", for example. Any other actor would have just gone along with the script and had a huge sword fight with Nameless Arab Goon #16. Sure, it would have probably been quite energetic and the audience would have enjoyed it, but it would have been forgotten fairly quickly by the world at large.

Meanwhile, Harrison Ford decides he doesn't feel like it and asks if he can just shoot the guy, and Lucas goes with that instead. Instant movie gold.

05-18-2008, 07:31 PM	#2
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	I'm still undecided how I feel about this movie. I mean Indiana was cool back when I was young but I think it'll just be silly now. And this still just feels like a huge cash-in to me, on the scale of "Won't it be awesome if we do this" rather than any concern for the series as a whole. Like for example I was ok with Rocky Balboa because Rocky 5 was such a downer and didn't fit with the rest of the series and so the last film helped improved the series as a whole. Rambo 4, however, was ridiculous waste. I feel similar ways about lots of aspects of the Star Wars prequels, the best example being "Wouldn't it be cool if R2D2 could fly, that would be awesome". As further example, see every comic book ever made. Last edited by Professor Smarmiarty; 05-18-2008 at 07:41 PM.

05-18-2008, 09:05 PM	#3
POS Industries Argus Agony Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Gotta go fishing! Posts: 10,483	Dude, we get it. You hate everything. I mean, I'm not passing judgment on this movie here or anything but come on already. __________________ Either you're dead or my watch has stopped.

05-18-2008, 09:12 PM	#6
Savage Thinking Yeeeah, son. Join Date: May 2005 Location: Stranded in the middle of the ocean with no desire to be rescued. Posts: 755	Since this thread was brought back up, I'd like to mention that there's already talk of a fifth Indy movie. Apparently, it would star Shia LeBeouf but having Indy come back similar to like his dad did in the Last Crusade. Leave it to our friendly neighborhood George Lucas to come up with such brilliant ideas for sequels.. __________________ The artist formerly known as 'ZutsuJin'. "It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself"

05-18-2008, 06:39 PM	#1
Ryanderman Beard of Leadership Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 827	Threadsurrection! Since it's coming out this week. EDIT - nevermind, apparently the powers that be decided it was better as a seperate thread. Sorry about that. The movie premiered at Cannes, so reviews have started coming in. It's got 77% fresh on rottentomatoes, but it was 73% five minutes ago and 60% earlier today, so I expect it to keep going up as more reviews come in. But there's really only one reviewer I ever put much stock in. Even when I disagree with him, I can see where Roger Ebert's coming from, and I always respect his reviews. Of course he openly admits to being an Indiana Jones fanboy, so his positive review is pretty biased. But I'm a fan too, so it's encouraging. His review has some minor spoilers, but nothing not seen or hinted at in the trailers: By Roger Ebert "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." Say it aloud. The very title causes the pulse to quicken, if you, like me, are a lover of pulp fiction. What I want is goofy action--lots of it. I want man-eating ants, swordfights between two people balanced on the backs of speeding jeeps, subterranean caverns of gold, vicious femme fatales, plunges down three waterfalls in a row, and the explanation for flying saucers. And throw in lots of monkeys. The Indiana Jones movies exist in a universe of their own. Hell, they created it. All you can do is compare one to the other three. And even then, what will it get you? If you eat four pounds of sausage, how do you choose which pound tasted the best? Well, the first one, of course, and then there's a steady drop-off of interest. That's why no Indy adventure can match "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981). But if "Crystal Skull" (or "Temple of Doom" from 1984 or "Last Crusade" from, 1989) had come first in the series, who knows how much fresher it might have seemed? True, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" stands alone as an action masterpiece, but after that the series is compelled to be, in the words of Indiana himself, "same old same old." Yes, but that's what I it to be. "Crystal Skull" even dusts off the Russians, so severely under- exploited in recent years, as the bad guys. Up against them, Indiana Jones is once again played by Harrison Ford, who is now 65 but looks a lot like he did at 55 or 46, which is how old he was when he made "Last Crusade." He has one of those Robert Mitchum faces that doesn't age, it only frowns more. He and his sidekick Mac McHale (Ray Winstone) are taken by the cool, contemptuous Soviet uber-villainess Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) to a cavernous warehouse to seek out a crate he saw there years ago. The contents of the crate are hyper- magnetic (lord, I love this stuff) and betray themselves when Indy throws a handful of gunpowder into the air. In ways too labyrinthine to describe, the crate leads Indy, Mac, Irina and the Russians far up the Amazon. Along the way they've gathered Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), Indy's girlfriend from the first film, and a young biker named Mutt Williams (Shia LeBeouf), who is always combing his ducktail haircut. They also acquire Professor Oxley (John Hurt), elderly colleague from the University of Chicago, whose function is to read all the necessary languages, know all the necessary background, and explain everything. What happens in South America is explained by the need to create (1) sensational chase sequences, and (2) awe-inspiring spectacles. We get such spectacles as two dueling Jeep-like vehicles racing down parallel roads. Not many of the audience members will be as logical as I am, and wonder who went to the trouble of building parallell roads in a rain forest. Most of the major characters eventually find themselves at the wheels of both vehicles; they leap or are thrown from one to another, and the vehicles occasionally leap right over one another. And that Irina, she's something. Her Russian backups are mostly just atmosphere, useful for pointing their rifles at Indy, but she can fight shoot, fence, drive, leap and kick, and keep on all night. All leads to the discovery of a subterranean chamber beneath an ancient Pyramid, where they find an ancient city made of gold and containing...but wait, I forgot to tell you they found a crystal skull in a crypt. Well sir, it's one of 13 crystal skulls, and the other 12 are in that chamber. When the set is complete, amazing events take place. Prof. Oxley carries the 13th skull for most of the time, and finds it repels man-eating ants. It also represents one-thirteenth of all knowledge about everything, leading Irina to utter the orgasmic words, "I want...to know!" In appearance, the skull is a cross between the aliens of the Special Edition of Spielberg's "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and the hood ornaments of 1950s Pontiacs. What is the function of the chamber? "It's a portal--to another dimension!" Oxley says. Indy is sensible: "I don't think we wanna go that way." It is astonishing that the protagonists aren't all killed 20 or 30 times, although Irnia will beome The Women Who Knew Too Much. At his advanced age, Prof.Oxley tirelessly jumps between vehicles, survives fire and flood and falling from great heights, and would win on "American Gladiator." Relationships between certain other characters are of interest, since (a) the odds against them finding themselves together are astronomical, and (b) the odds against them not finding themselves together in this film are incalculable. Now what else can I tell you, apart from mentioning the blinking red digital countdown, and the moving red line tracing a journey on a map? I can say that if you liked the other Indiana Jones movies, you will like this one, and that if you did not, there is no talking to you. And I can also say that a critic trying to place it into a heirarchy with the others would probably keep a straight face while recommending the second pound of sausage. I'm excited and can't wait for this. Now only Dark Knight and Hellboy II need to be good to make this a perfect movie summer. __________________ ~Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to stop, it turns. You tell it to turn, it stops. You tell it to take out the trash, it watches reruns of Firefly.~ Last edited by Ryanderman; 05-19-2008 at 12:00 PM.