I...what....Harry Potter...the Rational Scientist!?

Tev · 04-21-2010, 03:38 PM

Right, so I got linked to a little bit of Harry Potter FanFic today. I'm going to toss out there that I've still not read the Harry Potter books. Mostly what I know of the story has been fed to me by things like movies, internet blurbs.....squealing girls, you know that sort of thing. But a friend of mine passed this my way and for some reason I...just...can't...stop....reading.

Anyway, you people need to check out this Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality thing so that I don't feel alone in this little nerd hole I've fallen into.

Look! Excerpts!

Quote:

At once the small tabby cat morphed back up into a robed woman. "I'm sorry, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said, sounding sincere, though her lips were twitching toward a smile. "I should have warned you."

Harry was breathing in short pants. His voice came out choked. "You can't DO that!"

"It's only a Transfiguration," said McGonagall. "An Animagus transformation, to be exact."

"You turned into a cat! A SMALL cat! You violated Conservation of Energy! That's not just an arbitrary rule, it's implied by the form of the quantum Hamiltonian! Rejecting it destroys unitarity and then you get FTL signaling! And cats are COMPLICATED! A human mind can't just visualize a whole cat's anatomy and, and all the cat biochemistry, and what about the neurology? How can you go on thinking using a cat-sized brain?"

McGonagall's lips were twitching harder now. "Magic."

"Magic isn't enough to do that! You'd have to be a god!"

McGonagall blinked. "That's the first time I've ever been called that."

Quote:

Then again, Harry was standing in a bank that literally stored your money in vaults full of gold coins guarded by dragons, where you had to go in and take out coins out of your vault whenever you wanted to spend money. The finer points of arbitraging away market inefficiencies might well be lost on them. He'd been tempted to make some sort of snide remark about the crudity of their financial system...

But the sad thing is, their way is probably better.

On the other hand, one competent hedge fundie could probably own the whole wizarding world within a week. Harry filed away this notion in case he ever ran out of money, or had a week free.

Quote:

You're mine now, Harry thought at the walls of Diagon Alley, and all the shops and items, and all the shopkeepers and customers; and all the lands and people of wizarding Britain, and all the wider wizarding world; and the entire greater universe of which Muggle scientists understood so much less than they believed. I, Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres, do now claim this territory in the name of Science.

Lightning and thunder completely failed to flash and boom in the cloudless skies.

"What are you smiling about?" inquired McGonagall, warily and wearily.

"I'm wondering if there's a spell to make lightning flash in the background whenever I make an ominous resolution," explained Harry. He was carefully memorizing the exact words of his ominous resolution so that future history books would get it right.

"I have a distant feeling that I ought to be doing something about this," sighed McGonagall.

phil_ · 04-21-2010, 06:19 PM

The narration and Harry's thoughts in those snippets remind me of "Wizard People, Dear Reader." This is an absolutely good thing.

Shyria Dracnoir · 04-21-2010, 06:25 PM

Goddamnit, one of the Thad-clones escaped incineration and screwed with the Dimen-jump again, didn't they? Sonova, where's my shotgun....

Loyal · 04-21-2010, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyria Dracnoir

Goddamnit, one of the Thad-clones escaped incineration and screwed with the Dimen-jump again, didn't they? Sonova, where's my shotgun....

I know he's a meddling jerkface, but not everything is Thad's fault, and not everything necessitates involving him in things he plainly has nothing to do with.

It's bad enough when he does it himself.

Anyway. This is a pretty fun little alternate universe thing so far. (only 4 chapters in)

Geminex · 04-21-2010, 07:04 PM

That is quite fantastic. I'm not going to elaborate on how, lest I sound like a fanboy, but damn, that is good. Parody, but still badass, but funnier than the original, and still quite well-written? Not something you get every day.

Eltargrim · 04-21-2010, 10:04 PM

...bwuh?

I like this. But seriously, bwuh?

The Argent Lord · 04-21-2010, 10:31 PM

Oh, god, this is incredible. The best fanfic I've ever read.

***Fenris*** · 04-21-2010, 10:50 PM

I thought it was good until it got to the point where he had a dark terrible awful side that was evil and stuff.

Then I just thought it was just another fanfic written by somebody who was actually educated for a change.

Entertaining read to kill time, though.

Dracorion · 04-21-2010, 10:55 PM

Quote:

BOY-WHO-LIVED GETS
DRACO MALFOY PREGNANT

'Nuff said.

rpgdemon · 04-21-2010, 11:49 PM

The way that it's written sort of reminds me of the Artemis Fowle books.

04-21-2010, 06:19 PM	#2
phil_ Just sleeping Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: At home, probably in bed. Posts: 6,482	The narration and Harry's thoughts in those snippets remind me of "Wizard People, Dear Reader." This is an absolutely good thing. __________________ Be T-Rexcellent to each other, tako.

04-21-2010, 06:25 PM	#3
Shyria Dracnoir Kawaii-ju Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Monster Island Posts: 4,240	Goddamnit, one of the Thad-clones escaped incineration and screwed with the Dimen-jump again, didn't they? Sonova, where's my shotgun.... __________________ Godzilla vs. Gamera (1994)

04-21-2010, 10:04 PM	#6
Eltargrim Fifty-Talents Haversham Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: FABULOUS Posts: 1,904	...bwuh? I like this. But seriously, bwuh? __________________ <Insert witticism here; get credit; ???; profit!>

04-21-2010, 10:31 PM	#7
The Argent Lord Master of Silver Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Silver Keep Posts: 1,433	Oh, god, this is incredible. The best fanfic I've ever read. __________________ Dovie'andi se tovya sagain

04-21-2010, 10:50 PM	#8
*Fenris* Administrator Join Date: May 2005 Location: East Coast Posts: 6,806	I thought it was good until it got to the point where he had a dark terrible awful side that was evil and stuff. Then I just thought it was just another fanfic written by somebody who was actually educated for a change. Entertaining read to kill time, though. __________________ "FENRIS IS AN ASSHOLE" - shiney

04-21-2010, 07:04 PM	#5
Geminex SOM3WH3R3 Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,606	That is quite fantastic. I'm not going to elaborate on how, lest I sound like a fanboy, but damn, that is good. Parody, but still badass, but funnier than the original, and still quite well-written? Not something you get every day.

04-21-2010, 11:49 PM	#10
rpgdemon Not a Taco Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 3,313	The way that it's written sort of reminds me of the Artemis Fowle books. __________________ I did a lot of posting on here as a teenager, and I was pretty awful. Even after I learned, grew up, and came to be on the right side of a lot of important issues, I was still angry, abrasive, and generally increased the amount of hate in the world, in pretty unacceptable ways. On the off chance that someone is taking a trip down memory lane looking through those old threads, I wanted to devote my signature to say directly to you, I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me be better, NPF.