OH GOD BIOWARE WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE

Solid Snake · 02-01-2012, 09:36 AM

So first Bioware was all like "We're going to have less playable characters in Mass Effect 3 than we did in Mass Effect 2, we can't bring back most of the characters you loved in any halfway decent capacity because we have to make this artificial deadline in 2012. Yeah we could totally spend an extra six months or one year making this game perfect and an ideal blockbuster ending to the trilogy but fuck that shit we want your money."

And I was like, "Okay, okay, I'll live."

Then they were like, "We're going to trump up how Mass Effect 3 is all about the shooting mechanics and we're not going to talk about the story!"

And I was like, "Fuck that shit Bioware, I play Mass Effect for its goddamn story, you get the story back in your game."

And then Bioware was all like "Here's a leaked script of the story! Oops!"

And I was all like "Oh God please tell me you're joking and you deliberately leaked some shitty fake version of the script so everyone would lower their expectations and be blown away by how comparably awesome the game actually is."

(No, I'm not going to spoil anything for you, except to say that I was personally disappointed.)

And then Bioware was like "Hey do you remember Mordin and how he totally had like, the best voice actor in the entire series? Well, we're totally not bringing him back, despite the fact that he wants to come back, because we're skimping out on money, despite the fact that we totally should respect the integrity of this amazing series enough to bring everyone back."

And I was like "Fffuuuuccccckkk..."

And then Bioware...

...And then they...

...they...

And then Bioware did THIS.

WHY, BIOWARE

WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY

Amake · 02-01-2012, 10:37 AM

This's looking like a serious award bait game. I hope someone gives it an award for "Most Gratuitous Insert of a Celebrity in a Game". I mean they could have used her name, her likeness OR her voice, but put it all together and you get the most blatant attempt at creating a big budget masturbation aid game since Tia Carrera in The Daedalus Encounter.

CABAL49 · 02-01-2012, 11:07 AM

I am going to be honest. I had no idea who Jessica Chobot was, so I assumed she was a porn star. That made this even more disappointing. I mean, she has the porn star look and name.

Magus · 02-01-2012, 11:09 AM

That would all sound more terrible if I had gotten a chance to play the first two.

Any clue when they are going to port Mass Effect 1 to the PS3 or should I just go ahead and play 2 and pretend I know what is going on?

stefan · 02-01-2012, 11:11 AM

MuMu · 02-01-2012, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magus

That would all sound more terrible if I had gotten a chance to play the first two.

Any clue when they are going to port Mass Effect 1 to the PS3 or should I just go ahead and play 2 and pretend I know what is going on?

It's not that hard, Mass Effect is pretty much the lightest WRPG there. Ancient evil has awaken and something bad happened to one of your companions pretty much sums the first one. You'll miss Wrex but that's it.

So, what's the matter with having some subcelebrities on the game? Is it because it's a pretty lady? Because we already had Martin Sheen on the second one, he just wasn't romanceable.

Mr.Bookworm · 02-01-2012, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuMu

^It's not that hard, Mass Effect is pretty much the lightest WRPG there. Ancient evil has awaken and something bad happened to one of your companions pretty much sums the first one. You'll miss Wrex but that's it.

Soooooo, yes, buy and play the first two.

Quote:

Because we already had Martin Sheen on the second one, he just wasn't romanceable.

HE TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN, THOUGH.

Quote:

This's looking like a serious award bait game. I hope someone gives it an award for "Most Gratuitous Insert of a Celebrity in a Game". I mean they could have used her name, her likeness OR her voice, but put it all together and you get the most blatant attempt at creating a big budget masturbation aid game since Tia Carrera in The Daedalus Encounter.

They're not using her name (the character's name is Diana Allers), although it's a bit confusing in the picture.

I dunno, I don't find this particularly more troublesome than the last game, where Miranda was basically Yvonne Strahovski with black hair.

Amake · 02-01-2012, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Bookworm

I dunno, I don't find this particularly more troublesome than the last game, where Miranda was basically Yvonne Strahovski with black hair.

Well see the difference is I didn't know that.

(Note also that I have no idea who either of these two ladies are.)

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk · 02-01-2012, 11:53 AM

I have no idea who this woman is. There again I had no idea who Mirandas VA was either (still kinda don't).

I am slightly irked that they're adding even more new characters and apparantly dumping a bunch of old ones. They could have just kept most of the old crew really, especially since they might end up dumping characters that died during the suicide mission, which makes their deaths kind of irrelevent then. Like I lost Samara and Legion and I'm pretty sure Samara isn't coming back anyway, so now it makes no difference if she'd survived or not.

BahamutFlare · 02-01-2012, 09:15 PM

This news is disappointing. Mass Effect 2 was brilliant. If all this is true, then I may not get into this game.

02-01-2012, 09:36 AM	#1
Solid Snake Erotic Esquire Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 5,563	OH GOD BIOWARE WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE So first Bioware was all like "We're going to have less playable characters in Mass Effect 3 than we did in Mass Effect 2, we can't bring back most of the characters you loved in any halfway decent capacity because we have to make this artificial deadline in 2012. Yeah we could totally spend an extra six months or one year making this game perfect and an ideal blockbuster ending to the trilogy but fuck that shit we want your money." And I was like, "Okay, okay, I'll live." Then they were like, "We're going to trump up how Mass Effect 3 is all about the shooting mechanics and we're not going to talk about the story!" And I was like, "Fuck that shit Bioware, I play Mass Effect for its goddamn story, you get the story back in your game." And then Bioware was all like "Here's a leaked script of the story! Oops!" And I was all like "Oh God please tell me you're joking and you deliberately leaked some shitty fake version of the script so everyone would lower their expectations and be blown away by how comparably awesome the game actually is." (No, I'm not going to spoil anything for you, except to say that I was personally disappointed.) And *then* Bioware was like "Hey do you remember Mordin and how he totally had like, the best voice actor in the entire series? Well, we're totally not bringing him back, despite the fact that he *wants* to come back, because we're skimping out on money, despite the fact that we totally should respect the integrity of this amazing series enough to bring everyone back." And I was like "Fffuuuuccccckkk..." And then Bioware... ...And then they... ...they... And then Bioware did THIS. *WHY, BIOWARE* *WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY* __________________ *WARNING:* Snek's all up in this thread. Be prepared to read massive walls of text.

02-01-2012, 10:37 AM	#2
Amake Keeper of the new Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: A place without judgment Posts: 4,506	This's looking like a serious award bait game. I hope someone gives it an award for "Most Gratuitous Insert of a Celebrity in a Game". I mean they could have used her name, her likeness OR her voice, but put it all together and you get the most blatant attempt at creating a big budget masturbation aid game since Tia Carrera in The Daedalus Encounter. __________________ Hope insistent, trust implicit, love inherent, life immersed

02-01-2012, 11:09 AM	#4
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	That would all sound more terrible if I had gotten a chance to play the first two. Any clue when they are going to port Mass Effect 1 to the PS3 or should I just go ahead and play 2 and pretend I know what is going on? __________________ The Valiant Review

02-01-2012, 11:07 AM	#3
CABAL49 Not bad. Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Senatus Populusque Americanus Posts: 1,584	I am going to be honest. I had no idea who Jessica Chobot was, so I assumed she was a porn star. That made this even more disappointing. I mean, she has the porn star look and name.

02-01-2012, 11:11 AM	#5
stefan Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 870

02-01-2012, 09:15 PM	#10
BahamutFlare Troopa Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: PA Posts: 34	This news is disappointing. Mass Effect 2 was brilliant. If all this is true, then I may not get into this game.