Jumping on the Pokemon Bandwagon! But this time... JOHTO.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

XD asshat... Nice update.

[Ecks]

Originally Posted by Token

1. Legit way to get Scizor.
2. ??? is Token
3.a. Reference to fourth gen.
3.b. Pointing out a discrepancy between gens in aforementioned reference.
4. Being totally awesome.

You are the best LP evar! No seriously, this is pretty cool shit.

[Bard The 5th LW]

That was awesome. Keep it up, you're a pretty funny guy. I loved the end so much.

[Lost in Time]

I was almost wondering if you were going to keep it ??? so you could actually make fun of his name for a chance.

[Token]

Originally Posted by Lost in Time

I was almost wondering if you were going to keep it ??? so you could actually make fun of his name for a chance.

Is it wrong that I actually did that on my first ever playthrough?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Pokemon card game was rad rocking! Good shit.

[PCD]

Seriously, I got some major deja vu from that one PCG image. Not to mention Digimon references always put me in a good mood.

I can't help but wonder if you're going to call every adult a pedophile, though. It's getting old kinda quick, if you ask me.

[Token]

Originally Posted by PCD

I can't help but wonder if you're going to call every adult a pedophile, though. It's getting old kinda quick, if you ask me.

Don't worry, it'll just be the Professors. unless someone says something really pedotastic that I just can't pass up.

[Ecks]

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

Pokemon card game was rad rocking! Good shit.

That reminds me... I need to, ahem, "acquire" another "copy" as I lost my physical copy a very long time ago... guess I should "shop around."

[Token]

This is what happens when I type commentary while I'm tired and sick. You will all grow to hate the sunglasses smiley by the time you're done with this. I'm sorry.
Chapter 4: In which Asshat catches some Pokemon!


MothershitnippleFUCK. A... ARGH! :stressed:

Okay. Token's a douche. But dude. It was a Chikorita. He did you a bloody favor.

He found a Digiegg!

!ooD-ooD-ooD-ooD

Yes, that.

Huh. That would actually make a bit more sense than a Digiegg.

Actually, no it isn't. I was using my Pocket Monster Gear to check Bulbapedia earlier. Red, the former Champion, hatched a crapton of Pokemon three years ago. Professor Birch's kid did as well.

You didn't know that? You... you're not a real professor are you?

Oh, that. Seriously bro, Bulbapedia.

Hardly. This gives me like two sentences of info. As opposed to the pages I can get with Bulbapedia.

I'm sure. The way I see it, he's handing these things out like candy.

Sure, why not. I don't have anything better to do.

I killed a Sentret and blinded a Pidgey.

Didn't I just say I'd do that. :shifty:

Thanks, I guess. probably could have found it myself thanks.

Full of synchronized musical numbers? Cause that would be bitchin'.

Fine. :/

Jizz-infested-man-mattress!

Doo-doo-doo-doo!

I'm not working on the Mewdamn pokedex. :shifty:

Well yeah, I figured that much.

What the hell it was just the morning! :O_o: Right, time to talk to mom.

He is a killing machine.

The crazy dude next door who thinks he's a professor.

I guess.

FOOD.

That works too, I guess.

True. It can buy me shiny things. Like hookers or potions.

Lawl kay.

I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke, broke.

Oh Zapdos, now she's doing it too.

No. I don't play by the rules.

Really? I was gonna try and beat all the gym leaders in hand to hand combat. :shifty:

"No seriously. Leave. I only made dinner for one person, and it sure as hell wasn't you."

I have a Totodile. That's all I need.

Sure, why not.

BATTUL TEIM!

You look weird.

Where are your eyes? :gonk:

Where the damn are they? :gonk:

K...keep away from me...

You didn't weaken it. It looked at your face and had a heart attack. I'm gonna run away no-

Bollocks.

You're hurting......I don't give a Hoothoot.

Okay, now seriously, I need to get to the center.

man what.

Looks like Hoothoot......just got the boot.

Oh come the piss on!

Are you shitting kidding me? You've got to be kidding me.

Um... Give a Hoothoot......don't pollute.

JESUS'S CHAFED NIPPLES!

Uh.. shit. I'm out. Uh... "Hoothoot?" Mo' like... ..."Pootpoot!"
Yeah... I'm sorry.

I'm gonna check this place out, even though I should probably go to a Pokemon Center.

I could talk to you two, or I could be antisocial. Guess which one takes less effort.

It is all mewdamn grass. Fuck it, lesse if there's anything cool.

I can has battle?

I will catch you.

Or not dammit Leatherhed. Fine.
You may be made out of rock... ... but that's just how I roll.
Wow. Those are just getting worse and worse.

And you're just getting better and better.

But your health is low, so HEAL.

It looks like... ... I put the F.E.A.R.http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/FEAR of God in you.
Yeah, that was horrible. I should stop.

But I won't cause I don't give a... ...Rattata's ass.

Y'know what, no. I'm done with the puns. Leatherhed, murdinate it.

FINALLY.

UP+B UP+B DAMMIT

GEODUDE, GET DA ZE!

What's that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of Bulbapedia.

Thank you Mac. Wait. Who the hell is Mac and why did I say that?

Balboa's stats.

Okay, now it's time to go to the center.

Lethy. Destroy it.

Wow that battle sure went by quickly. It's almost like someone forgot to screencap it.

So of course that happens the step before I get out of the grass.
Would it be premature to say that... ...you got e-Raticate'd?
Yeah, that was premature. I swear, that never happens. :gonk:

Doo-doo-doo-doo!

... You may be the stupidest motherfucker I have ever met.

Why did I turn right?

Heh. Hooters.

Sure. HEAL THEM K'THX.

Time to head to Violet, I guess.

... I'm officially tapped out of Hoothoot puns.
In fact...... I used them OWL up.
God I hate myself sometimes.

Well that's a plus at least.

Also I have a Geodude I should probably raise or something.


Balboa is a fucking G!-eodude. Sorry.

Doo-doo-doo-doo!

She really drives us rats, rats, rats, she drives us rats...

It's the eye... of the boulder...

?

Oh that's cool. Good for yo-

what.

Hate you.

Sorry. Balboa's kind of stone-hearted.

Ding! Level up!

That would explain why you were looking for more.

What the cock.

It was just night. There were goddamn Hoothoots everywhere.

Yeah sure, whatever. How is it... what?

That's great kid. I'm gonna go heal.

I still don't trust you. :shifty: Anyway, I'm going to end up here a lot, because it's time to TRAIN.


DO WANT

Yikes. I got poisoned.

Remember kids......Weedle fuck you up.

Or level you up. Either way, it's win-win.

Luckily I had that PSNCURBERRY. Now to turn around and go back to the-

I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE A FULL GODDAMN STEP! :stressed:

Ooh.

Down+B...

Lesse you fly away home now, bitch.

Evolves at level 18, 50-50 gender ratio, gives out 1 SP.DEF EV... whoops. I left my Pokedex on.

Props to anyone who gets this.

Stats and whatnot, but without the whatnot.

Kakuna Rattata, what a wonderful phrase...

Kakuna Rattata, ain't no passin craze...

It means I level, and my stat's are all raised...

It's not Caterpie...

It oughta be...

Kakuna Rattata!

It's a little bit me, it's a Ledyba you, too.

Boom.

Boom.

Critical boom.

Double Critical.

Triple Critical. :O_o:

Dude...... that rocks.

Okay, I was getting worried there. I'm never that...

...lucky. Holy shit.

Oh right. Those.

Um... Tactical retreat!

HURRY UP.

You're Lady-BAD at this.

Eh, why not.

Pidgey, GET!

I am so glad you aren't shiny.

Props to anyone who gets this one as well. It's sort of a stupid reference.

By the way, CATCH.

I've been waiting all goddamn morning for a male one that can take two hits from Balboa.

His is the drill that will pierce the heavens!

I guess...

And while I'm at it, I want to see them as well.

Is that any way to greet someone?

Eh. Same shit, different day. Actually, by the time I head outside it might actually be a different day.

Just got the fuckers healed, actually.

That's... great.

A tough what now?

If you think a Kakuna is tough, then yeah.

I'm defriending you.

And I'm done for today. The next updates won't fail this much. I blame the Nyquil.