GC does a Let's Play: I also have Pokeymans and I will show you them

[Tev]

Originally Posted by Token

By the time you get the Old Rod, you're in Vermilion City, and most people get the Squirtle there for their Water type.

I think you're thinking about Yellow where you start out with Pikachu and then the game just hands you the three starters throughout the course f the game. This is Blue and he picked Charmander. The only way he's getting Squirtle now is by trading for it.

[Token]

Originally Posted by Tev

I think you're thinking about Yellow where you start out with Pikachu and then the game just hands you the three starters throughout the course f the game. This is Blue and he picked Charmander. The only way he's getting Squirtle now is by trading for it.

Ugh, this is what I get for posting at six in the morning. Seeing Camost, I got confused...

[Flarecobra]

Kick the guy in the junk and leave.

Go and get fossal. Preferably the dome one.

[Tev]

Originally Posted by Flarecobra

Preferably the dome one.

Yes, this especially. Kabutops looks so much cooler than that stupid calamari-snail.

[Ecks]

Originally Posted by Great Cartoonist

Oh hey I think I will trust this guy because he does not seem shady at all


Hmm, this offer is pretty good... We could get a Magikarp early for 500, but I could save the cash and wait until I get an OLD ROD so I can catch my own Magikarp.
Whatever shall I do?

Originally Posted by Token

Buy it, and POWERLEVEL it. By the time you get the Old Rod, you're in Vermilion City, and most people get the Squirtle there for their Water type.

Yeah, what he said. Also, name it Meister. You will appreciate the irony in that he's useless for 15 levels, but HOLY FUCK MOD POWERS ACTIVATE after 20.
That's what I did lol.

[Geminex]

Nah, don't kick him. Buy his Magikarp. Use said magikarp to humiliate your opponents. Instant hilarity.

[Great Cartoonist]

<Hey guys, everything okay while I wasn't around?>

<Hey hey, look who came back!>

<Bard-kun! You're back! Adrian missed having you with us!>

<Yeah, well... I'm better now. Jeez, that felt like it took a week longer than it should... Okay! So, it looks like we're going into Mt. Moon next.>

<Mt. Moon?>

<What's Mt. Moon?>

<Never been there, bud. What's it like?>



<Well, first of all, every last inch of that place is what I like to call "unsafe.">



<Also, we're going into a cave.>

<Oh.>

<Hmm.>

<Eep.>

...

<I've come up with a plan on how to survive this godforsaken dungeon.>



<Basically, all we need to do is take the quickest and shortest path to the exit. That way we can get through this in one try and none of us will be worn out halfway through.>

<Wow... that's brilliant, dude!>

<Adrian thinks this is a good plan! Because Adrian understands it!>

<Yes, this would be the best way to conquer this hellhole.>

<Uh, I'm sorry?>



<Unfortunately, knowing Grea-I mean Gofur, he'll probably take the most roundabout path through every goddamn obstacle just for the sake of scavenging every lost valuable he can find.>

<Ah.>

<Oh boy.>

<Well, so what if we stay there a little longer? We'll get through it just fine, right buddy?>

<Hahaha... I can only hope.>



Well, by popular demand, I bought that Magikarp. Also, I gave it a name.


Oh yeah, I forgot to store one of my Pokémon first.


Alright, let's pull out that Magikarp. We'll need to train it early if we're going to use it at all.


I store this guy and exchange him for Five.

<Hey, welcome to the team!>

<Yeah, sure. Big whoop.>


Your loss.


The only way Five is going to get experience is to change the order so that Five is always the first one out.


Alright, I think we're ready for Mt. Moon!

<Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod>


Alright, now let's just find ourselves some-


HOLY

<ARCEUS!>

What? You need something?

<Um... no?>

Oh. Okay then.


Well let's just switch to Comast. Electricity will handle this flying demon like a-


DAMMIT I MESSED UP AND ACCIDENTALLY USED A POKé BALL


Wow. That actually worked in our favor.




UNORIGINALITY STRIKES AGAIN


And of course, this guy goes directly into storage. Well, I plan to use that critter, so we're heading back.


Probably won't need him anymore.

<I don't understand what is happeniiiiiiiiii...>


So now we've got our very own Zubat to fight other Zubats with. Or just be annoying.


And now it's back into the cave to find-


Oh. Well, we can catch all the Pokémon here first.


Five is useless in battle.


Bard has a very huge advantage over Paras, but will it be enough?


<Ow dammit.>


<Kurai yagare!>


<Wait, oops.>

Okay, so maybe that was overdoing it a bit.


Still, there's EXP.


Alright! This guy can be useful! (Not really)


Dur


<Ow>


Like last time, this Geodude doesn't have anything that can seriously hurt Bard. So we just use Ember to bring that health down.


And there we go! That was easy.

<The crap do you mean, "easy"? I had to take all those hits y'know. And they hurt! Seriously, OW!>




Totally original +1!


It is around this time that I remember that I forgot to purchase Poké Balls from that mart way back in Pewter.


So, back to Pewter it is.


And then we head back into the darkness.


And now, catching Paras II: Not screwing up this time!


No


Yes


Oh well


All right


Well this is boring. Let's skip ahead.




YES




Completely half-assed biology nod.




Here is where I decide that I need to MAN UP the entire team. So, I do so. Here are the highlights.


<Oooh... Adrian feels... stronger.>


FINALLY got that sucker I've been meaning to get since the intro!

...

<Onii-sama! You have become stronger like Adrian! How wonderful!>

<...Ehhhhhh. Not going near that conversation.>


<Wh... whoa....>


<No. No, no, no. Not yet, anyway.>

<Oh, you pansy.>


Good god, Magikarp takes too long to evolve. Also, am I overdoing the leveling a bit? Well anyway, everyone except Bard learns some new moves.

<Hey, check out my new skills! I can hit stuff really fast now!>

<Onii-sama and Adrian learned how to do acupuncture! For real this time!>

<Adrian, what you learned is not acupuncture. It's an assassination technique.>

<Aww, Adrian really really wants to learn how to do acupuncture.>

<Hey, you know what'd be really funny? If actual acupuncture carried the risk of causing serious injury, much like how poison needles carry the risk of poisoning someone! OH WAIT.>

Comast learned Quick Attack, Adrian and Shepard learned Poison Sting, Rucadal got Supersonic and Bite, and Five learned Tackle, which means Five can now take on enemies by himself. This will be marginally useful later.

<Dammit, just three more levels until I learn a new move.>


So anyway, back in the cave, we find this mystery item shaped like a Poké Ball. Who here thinks it's a Poké Ball?


Well, it's not. It's a TM that teaches Water Gun.


HOLY CRAP we come across a Clefairy.


Well, since Five now has an actual attack, he can take on this one by himself now.


That didn't take too long.


Alright then.




Clefairy is a lot like Jigglypuff, only less wussy. What it lacks in HP compared to Jigglypuff it makes up for in overall stats.


I'm still not going to use them. For this segment at least.


Back to the Pokémon Center to refresh everyone's PP.


Now, back to treasure hunting!


The treasure here is only borderline valuable.


Gofur is totally not suspicious when he goes around catching every species of Pokémon he can find, looting every valuable people may or may not have dropped, and getting into fights for prize money, right?


Oh not these jokers again.


SERIOUSLY. This guy should have been a Beedrill by now.


Instead, he still only has Poison Sting and String Shot. And his stats are all sub-par. Also, poor EXP.


You really don't have a clue, do you.


Complete failure.


You were hopelessly weak and you were begging me to fight you.


You deserve to have your money taken.


Blah blah I don't care. I just want to get through this dump.


Translation: Zubats are abundant, and you will be raped by them.


They're not your friends if they let you wait here.


That's it? Just one of these little guys? You're just asking for it.


Unfortunately I don't have the patience for a long-winded battle, so I'll just let Shepard walk all over this one.


Dur, half damage.


Rats. I was really hoping for it to poison on the first try.


Oh well, going to do this the hard way.







And by "hard way" I mean boring and tedious.


Yes, you did. Were you not paying attention?


I take your money now.


To me, imprints of dead creatures make great bargaining chips. I know this because I've seen people mine for fossils underground and then trade with one another for a different set of fossils.


Oh look, a ladder going down. Where does it lead to?


A path to another ladder going down!


And now we're in another area!


Wow, I bet this Poké Ball-looking thing must be incredibly important!


Well, no. It's just an HP Up.
What does it do? Well, it increases the stat EXP/effort points (EV) for HP on any Pokémon. We're going to save it until I figure out what I want to do with it (probably sell it for cash).

A quick lesson on EV:
You may remember that from Generation III onwards, each Pokémon could only have a maximum of 255 effort points in each stat, and a total maximum of 510. At Level 100, the final value of each stat was its normal value without effort points, plus the effort points of that stat divided by 4, rounded down.
A Pokémon gained effort points by participating in battles. Every Pokémon gives 1-3 effort points in a certain stat upon defeat, depending on the Pokémon.
The Macho Brace item and the rare Pokérus condition increased EV growth by 100%; when combined, the EV growth multiplier was 4x. Other weighted restraints, such as the Power Anklet, were introduced in Gen IV, and they added 4 EV to a stat after each battle in addition to the EV gained from the enemy Pokémon.
EV growth vitamins (a misnomer, since they're not actually vitamins at all), which includes HP Ups, increased the corresponding stat's EV by 10 each. They could not increase them over 100.
Some berries reduced EV from a certain stat in exchange for increasing happiness. They were useful for reallocating a Pokémon's EV spread.

Well, this is not so in this game. Here, effort points are known as stat EXP, and they go up to 65535 for each stat. There is no global maximum. After every battle, the opponent Pokémon's base stats get added to the participating Pokémon's stat EXP.
Vitamins like HP Ups merely add 2560 to the corresponding stat EXP. They cannot increase them over 25600 in this game.
The exact formula for calculating the stat increase is a bit more complicated, but it can be found here. In fact go check out their explanation of this subject; it's certainly a lot more comprehensive than this one.


Okay, now where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to go back up to the first floor when... who the hell is this jerk that I completely missed while coming in.


"DURRR, WE ARE EVIL! WE LIKE TO DO EVIL THINGS, DUUURRR!"


Ah hahahahahaha this guy is just too much.


What kind of gangster are you? You think you can threaten people with THIS?


<Oh why.>


<ARGHABLARG dammit.>


<Oh yeah? Well take this!>


Burned. Hooray.


<GAGLBAGHERALBLEBLE SONUVA!>


Depressingly low damage, but still, it's damage.


A good rule of thumb is to always use the minimum necessary to defeat your opponent. That way, you won't waste your good attacks on weak opponents.


<Argh, dammit dammit dammit DAMMIT! Goddamn sand under my eyelids!>


You serious? We've been through this so many times and the outcome has always been the same.


<Hey dude, you alright?>

<DAMMIT JUST GO>


You see? Still the same outcome: I win.

<Seriously the worst part is when it gets under your eyelids so you can't get it out without lacerating your own eye>


Oh what is this now.


I have nothing to say.




People are supposed to be afraid of you guys? How the hell did you ever get such an infamous reputation with your weak-ass tactics?


Yeah, serves you right for crossing my path.


Hmm hmm


Thank you for sharing your thoughts to nobody concerned.


Seriously, I don't have time for this. I just want to get through this torture chamber.


And here we have our Bulbasaur imitator: Same type, slightly different stats, different moveset.


Adrian is a better choice against this guy.


Get used to seeing this move from a lot of Grass Pokémon we'll face.


Scratch is always better than Tackle, so we use that.


This low-power move is the only attack he's got. Pitiful.





So yeah.


Welp, time to act like a retard again.


Send out my useless underpowered fish!


Then send him back!


This is an even more one-sided match than the last one. Bellsprout has less Defense than Oddish, and Grass is double-ineffective against Zubat.


Just for kicks, I try out Zubat's signature annoyance move.


Ahahahaha, Bellsprout's high Attack makes confusion hurt more.


Bite is only slightly less powerful than Horn Attack. It still deals a lot of damage.


That's useless and you'll see why.


Rucadal is faster.




Lost what? Is it valuable?


Could it be your money? Because I'm taking it.


You find the exit, of course! What a waste of time.


Oh wait, let's go the other way first to take every treasure that's back there.


This thing instantly warps you outside the cave, back to where you came in. How a mere rope can do that is not explained.


Alright, Rare Candy! This increases a Pokémon's level by one, no matter how much EXP is needed. I'm saving it for when my Pokémon are at level 99 or something.
Unfortunately, Rare Candy in this game is indeed rare, unlike how the other generations have various limitless sources of Rare Candy (although you have to work really hard to get them). For example, Shuckle can process Berry Juice into Rare Candy if held long enough.


Thanks for the tip, Son of Captain Obvious MXXIV!


And then he fights us. What.


Bug Catchers really don't take the hint well, do they? This guy is so pitiful it's not even worth switching out Five for a stronger Pokémon.


The EXP isn't even good.


Ha ha ha


NO


Oh wow


You should know by now how it turns out.


Pointless.




The most intelligent thing I've heard from a Bug Catcher thus far.


Eh?





<FEAR.>




ALRIGHT! Now we're packing serious power!


That's good too, I guess.

More to come later, because this segment is getting WAY too long and you guys need a breather.

Y'know, these HeartGold and SoulSilver games are quite interesting. Almost makes me want to reconsider my permanent vacation... Naaaaah.

[Tev]

Yay for updates!

[The Argent Lord]

^ That

[Julford Hajime]

I loved the "Oh crap" in Unown there. Nice touch. Also, I found the way Celebi and Nidorino are kinda just chillin' while everyone else FREAKS THE FUCK OUT pretty humorous.