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Unread 04-20-2010, 02:32 PM   #11
i64ever
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Black Mage - Frustrated with life, Black Mage kills himself so he can once again try and rule Hell, the only time he was truly happy. Unfortunately, Darko is still upset about BM's failure to meet any of the goals assigned to him (other than random violence) that he sentences BM to heaven. Black Mage spends eternity bored out of his mind and complaining that "All the hot chicks with wings got nothin underneath their robes...NOTHING!!"

Thief - Starts the largest Ponzi Scheme ever and gets every last Gil in the known realm. He is then brutally lynched by his investors who did not care that they had signed a "Ha, Ha, I Screwed You!" waiver. Not even his Law Ninja could save him.

Red Mage - Finally decided that Charisma is the ultimate dump stat and removes all his points from it, rendering him unable to communicate in anything other than grunts and whistles. King Steve makes him his new campaign director, and Red Mage leads him to a landslide, finally wrapping up the crucial spagehetti vote.

Fighter - Is wooed by Evil Princess Sarah as she pretends to love him only to use him as cannon fodder in her long awaited coop. She is victorious, of course, and when Fighter somehow survives by dumb luck, she marries him and sets him up as a puppet king so she can rule as the power behind the throne. That works until Steve's right hand man Rodney launches a counter-coop that even Sarah doesn't see coming. They both die in a bunker underneath the castle, though somehow Sarah's body is never found. Satified that he has been defeated fairly by Rodey's surperior strategy and cunning, Fighter dies in peace.
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Unread 04-20-2010, 10:17 PM   #12
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Wasn't there some subplot way back where Black Mage was some kind of ultimate evil being who could destroy the universe?
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Unread 04-20-2010, 10:50 PM   #13
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I think that was a temporary infliction.

he got better
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Unread 04-21-2010, 02:13 AM   #14
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Yeah, he turned back into that, then gathered more power, then Sarda jackassed it all away.
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Unread 04-21-2010, 11:05 AM   #15
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Thief and Red Mage will talk about how they're all left with nothing.

Fighter will say something to the effect of "We'll always have each other".

Black Mage will stab Fighter in the head.

Cue the end credits.

You think BM really had some kind of horrible non-euclidean facial deformity or was he just a pimply nerd with mussy hair and angry eyebrows like the Black Wizard sprite?

EDIT: Or did his nightmare come true and he looks like Fighter?

Last edited by HisshouBuraiken; 04-21-2010 at 11:07 AM.
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Unread 05-03-2010, 07:33 PM   #16
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Well, here's one that covers pretty much every character I think:

After the defeat of Chaos and having their powers stripped, the four warriors of light left to go on their seperate ways, each one of them depowered and delevelled, and aware that in the end they had made no difference in the world.

Black Mage attempted to become a small time criminal, but without any of his former powers was unable to kill even the weakest of people. He was never caught by the guards, and so spent the rest of his life ineffectual and poor, every day despising the day he had let Fighter sign them up to be Light Warriors. He eventually was caught in the time portal made by Sarda and went back in time to a bit before the adventure started, and sold his only possession, a map to the cave of no return, to a person who reminded him of Fighter in return for enough gold to buy food. He later was killed by a person in a blue robe while visiting the old folk's home in Cornelia, unloved, depressed, and alone.

Fighter eventually realized his friend, Black Mage, was evil, and left him for good. He eventually trained enough to regain all of his former powers as a great Warrior, and Swordopolis granted him his class change to Knight back, due to his pure intentions and good heart. He traveled the world for a while, eventually stumbling into the time portal made by Sarda, and ended up travelling back in time, though not as far as Sarda, where he, unbeknownst to himself due to his stupidity, became his own mentor in the past. He later opened up a weapons shop so he could sell his massive collection of swords to budding warriors.

Red Mage's ability scores were too low to do anything much, so he dedicated his life to studying the numbers involved in how the universe worked. He eventually found a way to become the ultimate min/maxer and become the most powerful God at level 1, but do to being permanently stuck at level 0 he was unable to do anything with it. A record of his method survived however, awaiting the day when someone, or something, would find it...

Thief returned to Elfland, where, due to Black Belt being crowned king, he was unable to convince anyone that he was the rightful ruler. Meanwhile, Drizz'l had used his status as a warrior of light to regain status for the dark elves, a state which Thief was unable to accept. With nowhere to turn, he eventually returned to Red Mage, and became they became a couple. Thief made moderate success making a film adaptation of his adventure, the rights to which were bought from Black Mage, and lived happily ever after with Red Mage and a moderate sum of money.

White Mage returned to her secret cabal of healers, where she remained for the rest of her life. They later saved the world from an emperor who took over hell, a cloud manifestation of darkness, an evil Lunarian, the evilest tree in the world, and many others, all the while staying behind the scenes and unknown by the public. She also set up a charity for orphans and rebuilt Onrac for good, until it was crushed by a giant space flea from nowhere.

Black Belt stayed dead forever and ever. And he never came back to life.

The Onion Kid discovered Red Mage's method for becoming a God, and carried it out, becoming Sarda and going back to the beginning of time to put the story's plot in action.

The Dark Warriors became known as the warriors of the dark, who defended the world against a great evil, the light warriors. As it was passed down eventually the story was distilled into the warriors of dark defending the world from being swallowed by light. They were later called upon to assist another four warriors of light in defeating an embodiment of darkness.

Garland eventually killed King Steve and became ruler of Cornelia. He married Princess Sara and they drilled for mana for years afterward. Drizz'l became ruler of Elfland, and brought in a new era of peace for both the elves and the dark elves, during which they teamed up and obliterated the dwarf kingdom completely. Vilbert went back to his mom's house and finally finished his LARP game. Bikke bought another boat, which he sank five times before actually managing to get on it. The four still met regularly to schedule charity dinners and run kitten shelters and pet rescues.

Cleric and Rogue went on to refound the other warriors, Cleric brought Ranger back from the dead and they recruited Druid as a new member, who was obscenely overpowered.

Dragoon rode down from the moon on his chocobo, but due to his jump ability did so much damage on the way down he tore a hole in the universe and was sent into a dimension of nonexistance.

Black belt got lost on the way to the afterlife and wandered into another dimension in the future, where he met dragoon, bard, and berserker. The four eventually used their combined powers to rip a hole in the fabric of the universe, and emerged in a new time, where they would eventually become known as the warriors of light and defend the world from being swallowed in darkness.

But that's another story.
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Unread 05-03-2010, 08:07 PM   #17
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Quote:
Red Mage - Finally decided that Charisma is the ultimate dump stat and removes all his points from it, rendering him unable to communicate in anything other than grunts and whistles. King Steve makes him his new campaign director, and Red Mage leads him to a landslide, finally wrapping up the crucial spagehetti vote.
The point of a minmaxer using cha as a dump stat is to use his RL charisma to deal with situations and try and strategically dodge anything that would involve using a check.
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