Best insults that make no sense.

[MP37a]

My g/f says some weird things like when she's mad at someone "I'm going to kill you with my finger!" or simply "your mom" which she uses for anything and everything. The word "beast" is used to describe big girls by her which is really funny the way she says it.

[Massacre]

Anything that Space Ghost ever said to put someone down on Space Ghost: Coast to Coast. Since SG is suppose to be a total idiot on the show, he naturally fails to serve up an insult or nasty comeback like Red Mage losing on an Intelligence Test, even with his combat pool engaged!

Aside from that, I personally cannot view being called an asshole or bastard as much of an insult. Because, as Denis Leary said, "I'm an asshole...and proud of it."

[h4x.m4g3]

Me and a group of my friends have a lot of weird ones.

"Shut up or I'll eat your pants."
"Shut up or I'll eat your wife and kids."
"I'm not married."
"I know I ate your wife already."

"Shut up you pinko-commy bastard."
"Shut up you neo-nazi storm trooper."
"Shut up you facistbaby eater."
Shut up you hitlerite."

Pah, none of ye have anything on me and the group of people I hang out with. (Not all be friends, yarg)

We'll sit around and wail on each other verbially for hours on end (quite literally) with nothing but insults.

Popular subjects include oral sex ("Stop sucking me off!" "Your mom sucked me off!" "Dude, that's disgusting. You don't wanna touch her...::shudder:: "), lack of skill ("Holy lack of skill, man. You use enough explosives to eat off my dick?!" "Nope." "Asshole!" "You know it." "Fuck you!" "Oh baby, oh baby." ), gay jokes (Not a chance in hell those are getting on here), fat jokes (most of us have a healthy girth), metal bone jokes (I get those since I'm much heavier than I look), and a variety of other things that would take tons more space to mention.

Yeah, we have a lot of free time. And we know it.

[slightly aboveaverage man]

"How do you know when you have a high sperm count? THE FLY THAT JUST BIT YOU FLEW INTO A WALL!"

I know it probably doesn't seem funny to you, it's an inside joke between a friend of mine. I screwed up a joke and ended up merging two similar jokes together. It was a "had to be there" kind of moment.

[Bailey]

my friends and i just call each other smacktards

it literally means: someone so retarded you have an overwhelming urge to smack them

Just smacktard?! What ever happened to fucktards, asswads, jerkwads, commiesticks, neonazifascistfuckerfucktards, etc?!

You guys need more free time. Just grab a group of friends and start insulting them. Even the most shy person will come back at ya after a few hours worth! (Not that I would know from personal experience O_o )

[Psrdirector]

SNOORGAZAM!
that is an interesting insault. It means Monkey Pickle Fuck.
The story behind this is simple, my friend from canada who is very odd (we meet by him playing the 9/11 game, whitch is he runs around in a circle making plane noises and then runs into my stomack) thought there needed to be a word that meant Monkey Pickle Fuck and so it came to be. It eventually became an insault cause well what else are you going to use this for

[ghen]

I prefer to use insults to balance out the good and evil in the world, by insulting the good people alot you can make them more evil, and by locking up the bad ones in a dark corner of an abandoned warehouse you make the evil ones less productive, so everything balances out.

[adamark]

always funny to use the insults "slob" or "slut" on a male.