NPF Avatars: The Journey of a lifetime

[Darth SS]

"You aren't going to do a...a..."

Darth whispered the next phrase.

"...mass bannination?"

There was a dramatic chord heard. Then Darth's whimsical theme music returned. "Also, have I mentioned that I love you? You're the best mod. Ever. And I totally love your gun-fu."

The XM8 clicked empty, so Darth calmly reloaded it.

"Can I borrow some SEX?"

Darth frowned for a moment.

"Okay, trying again. Can I borrow som 9mm rounds? Believe it or not, I forgot to pack them."

[PyrosNine]

(OOC: Flamenco music to go along with the post, found for free here. Try "Flamenco Energy")

Pyros smiled at Premonition's challenge. "BWAHAAHAh! Mortal, that I CAN do, that I WILL do, and it's pracitcally ALREADY done."

Pyros drew back his flaming fist and punched a nearby lurker with full force, sending it flying back into the others. Except, upon making contact with them, it burst into flame, then became ash. Then they shook and burst into flame as well. And those who came into contact with that fire. And those who came in contact with THAT fire. The effect increased exponentially, until the mass flamings formed a burning image of Asheth upon the ground.

And then that image stood up.

"OmG! I (@n c /\ h3r p@N+!3s!!"

The giant flaming figure lifted up her foot and stomped upon the lecherous lerker, and then rubbed her foot into the ground to make assurance double sure he was dead. Then she raised her leg into high arc and made a sweeping kick, sending the lurkers flying off into the horizon.

A lurker chose that moment to risk the third degree burns to rub against her flaming leg. The giant flame Asheth roared and reached down. She pried the lurker off and held him at eye level. Already he was out of his pants. She squeezed the life out of him and threw him to the ground in disgust. The lurker died in a crater made by the speed of his fall, taking out several other forum trash with him.

Then, tired of such foolishness, the giant Asheth reached her flaming hands down to "Akbar's Oversized musical props (not actual proportinate giant instruments)" and took some giant castanets. She put them on and got into pose.

She clicked the castanets twice. "CLICK CLICK!"

"FLAMENCO!" Pyros and the Fuego Grande musicians began the song, strumming the guitar, clapping their hands, and playing the saxophone. As the music was made, The giant Asheth danced and clicked the proportionately giant castanets.

And boy did she dance, her leg sweeps and fancy dress waving were as beautiful as it was deadly. The subtle movements were attractive, and even more so when you noticed that with each movement of her feet lurkers and Noobs were crushed. And with every sweep of her dress hundreds of them were incinerated.

The steps and dancing seemed to go on for an eternity of beauty, love, and a guy named FJGI's superb guitar playing. But alas, as with all things, the music must ened eventually. As the song neared it's end, she gracefully clicked the castanets one more time, and struck yet another pose.

Then, as the final guitar string was played, the flame that comprised the giant asheth reformed into a giant red rose that towered above the buildings. Then as the final note faded away, so did the rose....and as it did so it returned to the ground and immolated thousands.

With tears and his eyes, Pyros took off his sombrero. "Senoras and Senioritas, it has been an honor for us to play for you tonight. For such music is truly the fire that lights up the soul, and drives us all to dance the dance of madness, keeping in beat with the mad world we live upon. Like love, hope, and dreams. Also, I would also like to inform you that we also perform for birthdays, weddings, and Bar Mitzvahs."

[GARUD]

Garud looked up from his spellbook, and gestured to a large group of forumites. They seemed to be making a thread about... FFVII? THEY HAD TO BE STOPPED.

• Mass darkness!

The noobites started to cough and weeze in thesmog that erupted around them. Garud cast one of the much nicer spells in his arsenal... FATED CIRCLE! It was move dreaded by Final Fantasy 7 fanboys ever since 8 came out. The book said it needed the ingredients of

1. N00B brains
2. Lurker intestines
3. a hairy set of... arms

Garud already had hairy arms, and he only needed to get the other two. All he really needed to do was pull them out of a couple. SQUILCH... SQUILCH. Ingredients obtained!

• Fated Circle!

"Squall is teh suc...EARGGGBBBLLLLEEEE. OMFGYOUPWN3DU5LOLOLOLOL..."

Fated circle ripped through them like a hot knife through FF7 fanboys. Slow and painful.

(OOC: yes I do like using the list feature. Thanks for asking)

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Darth SS

"...mass bannination?"

POS jerked suddenly upon hearing that phrase, and reached for his wallet. Inside, along with the 8 Canadian dollars and novelty "Federal Boobie Inspector" cards, was his official NuklearPower Forumer identification card. The card, using advanced technology unlike that which you have ever seen, is marked with a tiny jewel in the corner. For most, it is green, though many forumer's jewels have turned blue and even some the dreaded red as a result of negative rep.

Pedro's, fortunately, was still green, with a message next to it stating that he would, in fact, become famous soon enough, eventually, maybe. He breathed a sigh of relief, more confident now that he would not get caught up in the banning wave. He'd never experienced it before, but he knew it was a fate worse than death. To be a ghost, unable to effect the world around him.

The thought sent a shiver down his spine.

Now, however, he was sure that krylo more or less knew what he was doing, and thus POS was about to get quite the show of a lifetime. Suddenly, he heard flamenco music, and the mood hit him. Reaching into his bag, our hero (let's assume for the moment that he is) pulled out not only tortilla chips, but salsa to go with them!

"Sure, it's not mariachi," he said, smiling, "But it's lovely, just the same. Bravo!"

[Arhra]

Arhra, despite being critically weakened by mana depletion, had managed to stay safe during this time by sticking near Rhiya. Well, as safe as anyone near a draconic Rhiya could be that is. She'd cunningly used the scent of one of Thadius' shoes to lure Rhiya over towards the others. Safety in numbers she rationalised. As to why she had one of Thadius' shoes... well... Rhiya wasn't the only one to occaisionally use other forumites as snacks.

Hearing Ecurt's idea for a plan Arhra nodded, "Yes it does sound workable, if risky." Discussing the plan would give her a chance to rest a bit. She waited, listening to the others talk and watching the various spectacles of destruction being played out. That flamenco was quite catchy. Arhra decided it was her favourite mass destruction so far. As Krylo started up his plan to use the dreaded IP Ban, she finally added something to the conversation, "It will definately change you eh? Change is practically my middle name. Hah, with something like that I'm sure I could handle Raiden. With risk comes progress and I'm feeling progressive! Where is this armor?"

An insistant warning suddenly penetrated the fog of her weariness. Arhra stood rigid as she realised. She'd just volunteered. You never did that! Never! The exhaustion was obviously making her crazy and blunting her survival instinct. It was like being drunk but not as fun. Still, there as no use trying to weasel out of it now. The others almost certainly wouldn't let her back down.

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Arhra

"It will definately change you eh? Change is practically my middle name. Hah, with something like that I'm sure I could handle Raiden. With risk comes progress and I'm feeling progressive! Where is this armor?"

"Not for nothing, but I didn't think anyone would actually raise their hand and say 'me, me, me' during the discussion about who was most expendable. Still, kudos to you...."

POS, putting away his chips and salsa as the music ended, chuckled slightly at this turn of events. Though he only knew two of the people here by name, he did have to admit that any woman who can literally explode into existance stark naked was okay in his book. Having an apparent death wish happened to make her all the more interesting."

"...and about that armor. A couple people mentioned some things that gave me some ideas. First, that one guy, er, whats's-his-name," Pedro said, pointing at Ecurt, "was saying that the armor would only absorb magic or perhaps other forms of energy, lightning for example, but would give you more-or-less limited protection against physically."

The pace of Pedro's speech quickened, "Then, the guy with afro mentioned something: he said, 'We might have to come up with a power dampener, something to channel the energy through so that the wearer doesn't recieve too much.' This gave me an idea. Now, considering the source of the power being channeled, this would only be able to reroute a fraction of this Raiden guy's magic, but that fraction should be enough to power some..... enhancements."

The others stared at him a bit, that "what in blue blazes are you talking about" look in their eyes. POS grinned sheepishly, feeling a bit odd himself about this unexpected contribution.

"The NPF has been running under the same theory for years with the Kurosen. A combination of magic and modern science, often referred to in some circles as Magitek. I think I might be able to make it work for our situation..."

[Mr.McSpiff]

"Magitek eh? Like in FF6 I'm assuming. Well, I volunteer to be the guy who hauls the heavy stuff around." Spiffy walked around, and heard a moan. He looked down and saw a half knocked out noob, "Do these things ever die??" He then stomped on it's head repetitvely, until there was nothing left to stomp on.

[Premmy]

Premonitions stared in awe at the beautiful carnage. "YESSSS HAHAHAHAHA THAT IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I-" he paused and began hemming and hawing and sucking his teeth in thinly vield exasperation,"pffffff, huh, that- that was nothing, you commit mass murder like a pussy"

[Truce]

Ecurt furrowed his brows, listening to POS' plan, which was a very good plan he had to admit. Rerouting the power was a very good idea, one he wished he had thought of. Unfortunately, there was one problem. "Rerouting the power would put too much stress on the suit. Since I only had one thing in mind when I designed it, it can't support any other functions without reconstructing it from scratch. You'd have to have some form of an external siphon that would take energy away from the suit from the outside...but it would take some time for me to build such a thing, without help.

"Of course, since we've talking about this power armor, I believe it's time to actually show you it." After snapping his fingers a couple of Bondage Asheth Plushies™ (not sold in stores, for a good reason) popped into existence on either side of Arhra and before the summoner could react the feline dominatrices grabbed both of her arms and dragged her out of view. Sounds of a struggle could be heard back at the main group, though it wasn't long before they died off, quickly replaced with sounds of [Censored: Ecurt has been spending too much time in the chat room].

It didn't stop there. Words were found again by those who tried to listen in, eventually forming sentences. "Please...no...not there... Please...stop...don't look at me there. I'm embarrassed. Wa-wait, what are you doing with that? You're going to put it-oh!" And then there was nothing more coherently said, and it degenerated once more into [Censored: Really, Arhra wanted it that way. Really.]

Finally, the plushies returned with Arhra in tow, who now was dressed in the traditional Sailor Outfit, accessorized with both cat ears and a cat tail, and had a blush on her face. Ecurt smiled and nodded, as if it was the most normal thing ever (which you knew it was, if you ever spent time in chat). "So...what do you guys think? It's pretty cute, if you ask me. I wanted to fit a swimsuit uniform in there, but I felt it clashed with the skirt."

[Mr.McSpiff]

"I. Don't. Like. Sailor. Moon. It SUCKS!" To vent his anger, Spiffy went to the nearest noob's dead body and attacked it until there was nothing but a splatter of blood. Then he destroyed the chunk of concrete was on. Walking back to the group, he said,

"Okay, I'm good now. Just ignore the heavily smoking boomstick, extremely red rat, and bloodstained clothes. I have a few questions. What the heck were those plushie-midget things? Where did the censors blocking out Arhra come from? Why was she being censored in the first place? And the final question: What in the blazin' h***s made you think that a Sailor frakkin Moon outfit would be a good look for armor?"