NPF Avatars 5 - Let's Leave a Mark

[POS Industries]

"OH FUCK ON A FRENCH WHORE'S HAT!!"

Nihilem cried out in pain from Mesden's counter, once again finding himself tumbling backward. Slamming the throne in his right hand under him, he springboarded himself back into the air, shaking his hand loose from the ladder before landing on his feet a short distance from Mesden.

"Yeah, that was.... special. And you're definitely right about something," he sighed, watching as his godly regenerative ability took effect over his shattered left arm, quickly healing it and allowing him to pick up the ladder that had been freed from Mesden's grasp upon the execution of her last attack, "Ladder-fu will triumph."

Twirling the ladder by its center rung between his fingers, POS lifted the throne into the air once more and charged forward, leaping into the air in an attempt to bring both makeshift weapons down upon Mesden's head.

"Guess who just leveled up his Dual Wield skill!"

[Mesden]

"Oh yeah, that's right, gods. Damn, we are annoying..." as Mesden mused, she seemed to forget about the two weapon hurtling to either side of her. It was inevitable, now, for her to get out of the way, but she didn't seem too worried about it.

Upon both hitting her, there were varied effects. The Ladder, being created of, essentially, her own being, did nothing but phase into her arm harmlessly, whereas the throne made a massive thud against the side of her entire body, sending her tumbling to the side for quite a ways -- carrying a chunk of the ladder that was absorbed into her being with her -- and she didn't stop until the jut of ladder she had taken scraped against the ground and propped her up, landing her precariously in a quite dapper standing position as she leaned on the appendage with one foot crossing the other.

The massive crevices in her made by the chair shattered away like glass, the shell of the body she inhabited falling apart and revealing the chewy-er-glowing center that was the regular Mesden. "Bleh, now I've got to fix this!" she whined audibly before pulling the piece of ladder out of her body. After a couple of moments of essentially ignoring the doom of the universe incarnate before her, she had finished resculpting her body. With a snap of her fingers the remaining ladder in Pedro's hand returned to her and melded with the rest of her ladder, making a complete ladder once more!

"I don't think bashing each other is going to work so well anymore. So, I suggest we try something else!" She cocked her eyebrow for a moment before an excited look jumped from her face, as if she had the greatest idea in the world, "I know, I'll bash you into submission! I've got one! You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny!"

[POS Industries]

"Well hey," Nihilem chuckled, already having set down and stretched out once more in the High Creator's throne while Mesden took her sweet time repairing her body, "At least I didn't spend eternity hiding away in my own little closet dimension listening to Linkin Park and cutting myself."

[Mesden]

"Oh you are so very lame. A better one would've been saying I cut myself with Linkin Park CDs." She waited for a moment, realizing her mistake, "Dammit! Regardless, what is with you and your obsession on darkness? You can call me emo all you want, but I live in a world of bright colors and general enjoyability. You just fill everything with 'nothing.' Just like your cold, depressed soul, I bet? No one understands you, do they? You're your own special little bloody snowflake, huh?" Her tone was as if she were talking to a small child, humoring and insulting him at the same time.

[POS Industries]

"Please, we both know that I'm far to egotistical and self-absorbed to have any sort of inferiority issues," POS rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed by this failed attempt at psychoanalysis, "While I do admit to have a certain fondness for the color black, it's really just because it looks good with anything. Black suit is classic. Ever seen a guy wearing a bright yellow suit, for example? I have. It's awful. Just dreadfully, dreadfully awful."

He sat up for a moment, leaning forward in his chair as he began to smile a little bit, "As for this for this whole 'nothingness' motif I have going at the moment, let me ask you: Have you ever created a god? I would imagine not. You see, as your late father might have been able to tell you, during the formation of a deity, especially one around our level, you have to instill into the creature a specific element. Raiden got electricity, you got soul, Pyros got fire, that sort of thing. This, as it turns out, was something I didn't actually know when I started this procedure and didn't have the means to create any sort of elemental attunement, putting me on this very interesting default setting of 'nothing'."

Nihilem leaned back, crossing his legs as the smile stayed quite fixed on his face, eyes glued to Mesden's, "Following certain steps, each god completes part of a balance within the universe as a whole. However, left in its original form, a god is little more than a hollow engine of destruction, an unexpected side effect that I must admit worked out quite well in my favor, don't you think?"

[Mesden]

"Egotism and narcissism are usually just fronts for inferiority issues, you know..." she gazed around at the gloomy environment, "But really, it's not that the color black is awful, it's that you overuse it so much! Yes yes you like a black suit, but look at this place! It's so dank and depressing. Sure, you're the god of nothing or whatever you like to call yourself, but you can have a bit more taste than that!"

She jumped up a fair bit before landing softly on the top of the ladder, "Regardless, I know plenty of how a god's formation works, and trust me when I say that the original form is not just a hollow engine of destruction -- you're still a very conscious being, even if a bit primal in how you go about your ways, and inasmuch as you can be a soulless beast, you can be a staunch defender. This hollow mass of destruction is almost entirely your ego -- why would you be trying to become a god anyhow? You wanted more, you weren't happy, you felt inferior. Every living thing in this universe has its place and role, even if they think they're supposed to be somehow more, and I know that better than anyone else. It's precisely why I came here, because this isn't your place -- or anyone's, for that matter --, and I fear that I'm the only one that can really help you work through this." She stared up blankly, as if there were a sky to gaze at, "But really, as cold and cruel as you were in the real world, you never seemed much the one to murder people, especially those you seem to like. You were none too good at first impressions this time around."

[PyrosNine]

His hand buried into the dirt, Majimmier could only stare at REI helplessly. But did he show fear? Or shock? No, for at this moment, he cried, giant robot tears of sadness. Poor sad panda!

"Y'know.This is really very hard for me..." He cried, using his one free hand to wipe the hard to explain giant robot tears when you think about it.

It was at this moment that Mime hit his buttons, to which Pyros hit him with a newspaper. "Why did you cease your labors? T'was to a good use! It powered the cappuccino machine! WHich, aside from making a nice cafe mocha, is a super weapon! You're pushing my buttons, teeny!"

A light blared above both their heads glaring: Nuklearpowered Steamplow mode!

"That can't be good. That word doesn't work in the least bit. Nuklearpowered Steamplow? Science officer Mauve, did we ever uncover what a Nuklear was in the first place?"

Pyros wheeled his chair around, to the surprise of the viewing audience, to find the entirety of NPF-er's that went into the giant robot sitting behind him in rows of comfortable chairs, with the exclusion of Ecurt, who failed to have one and was tempted to ask if he kid sit on someone's lap.

***
Suddenly Majimmier's eyes turned as fierce as a berserker. "TO SQUASH!"

The pacifist android wearing clothes in the vacuum of space activated the Nuklearpowered Steamplow mode subsystem, and extra hydraulics (plus the revving of the pontiac GTO in his pants) fought against the increased gravity and then some. Seizing the ground in which his hand was stuck in, he ripped the large floating land mass up and grasped it with both hands, then hurled the very ground beneath REI"s feet at her.
***

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen that got in my happy giant megazord van of love, we seem to have a problem. Two, in fact. Firstly, no doubt you've been watching this fight with interest, wondering if we'll win. And also why your controls disappeared. Let me explain. As of this moment, Majimmier is on autopilot....in short, we've lost control of the giant robot. On the bright side, he still is following his prime directive, which is to express and protect the values of love and friendship while killing love-capable monsters and their friends." Pyros explained, sipping a cafe Mocha while the Drugged fan passed out refreshments to the crew.

"NOW, this isn't too troubling, he seems to be doing just fine despite being one sandwich short of a picnic (like his mums and dads he 'is!) but from what little I have been able to work the system, there are indicators that state that this self-fusion put a severe tax on the parts of this ship, which may cause them to lose cohesiveness after the fusion ends. In short, the Zord's gonna explode. And it may be a bad time to bring this up, but most fusions (especially one of this magnitude) last for a very short time. I give this one 4-5 more minutes, give or take the fact that everything we've just done over the course of the last 4 minutes actually took place in posts well over 4 days. But the point still is: BOOM!"

Pyros held up a crayon picture, complete with dead chibi forumites dying in the void of space while REI watches, laughing.

"Now, I do not ask for miracles, I ask for input. We need to somehow empower Majimmier to defeat REI in less than 4 or 5 minutes, while not actually able to control the bipolar bastard. I have identified 2 special attacks other than "Punch for Peace!", which include "Electric Bondage Present", and "Pacifism Quiz", each of which are far greater in strength than my NOVA attack. Also, the NPF VoltroMegazord's main ultimate monster killing weapon is still functional, but we can't use it till the end of the fight thanks to narrative causality. Now, Majimmier can use these attacks when he wants to, but at the moment, even with Nikose's help we're still a bit short on the juice for them to even sputter. So, we need options. And If you guys don't got something, we could just have half of you on the auxiliary treadmills, and the other half in cheerleader outfits, and hope that gets the job done." Pyros pointed to a series of treadmills larger in scale then Mime's, and a locker of miscellany school spirit items.

"The second thing. For some reason, the scanners are picking up in this void of nothingness NPF tachyodimensondemonphonics. Which indepth analysis indicates that at this very moment in space time, there are two NPF Avatar RP's going on. And everything may be all my fault."

[Bailey]

Amalplush, greatly distressed by the fact that the other beings he was fused to seemed to have fallen into a coma and there was now LAZORS headed his way, concentrated intently on getting the hell out of the way... somehow. No solutions presented themselves until he heard Pyros' shout (because of the laws of sound-wave propagation, which are far too complex to explain right now) and realized what he needed to do.

"N!" Amalplush declared. This seemed to have no immediate effect, so he took a deep breath and tried again, almost roaring. "(\)!"

Instantly, the symbol detached from his speech bubble and slapped itself onto the stomach of the five-headed dragon. You see, that speech bubble just happened to be the ideological manifestation of a certain sack which was only allowed to exist due to hideous raping of causality some time previously... or perhaps currently. Things get all screwy when you begin to rape causality.

ANYWAYS!

Having taken control of the five-headed dragon, Amalplush leapt aside slightly (not that this helped any, but it was much more cinematic this way) and fired all five heads at the incoming LAZOR BEAM.

The resulting explosion of the contact of five primal forces of energy against a LAZOR BEAM owned by a man who held the ring of heart could only cause one thing.

"By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN PLANET!"

Unfortunately, Captain Planet then got killed by the next LAZOR BEAM coming in.

This did however meant that the five-headed dragon was safe fo- OW.

Oh, right, the stabbing.

[mauve]

Originally Posted by Pyros

"Science officer Mauve, did we ever uncover what a Nuklear was in the first place?"

Mauve stood from her super-comfy chair, suddenly and inexplicably wearing a long, expertly tailored white labcoat and a small pair of eyeglasses.

Ecurt excitedly shoved everyone aside to grab the now-empty seat.

"According to our extensive and undoubtedly very expensive research in the field of Nuklear Physics," Dr. Mage began, "All data points to the term 'nuklear' being related to mindless destruction, complete insanity, inhumane methods of personal conduct, and the occasional Yoda Dog. Our science department is currently working to classify Nuklear as a base element on the Internet Periodic Table, seeing as how Gaia no longer occupies a space so we'll have plenty of room."

Behind her, one of Ecurt's plushies was scribbling a huge "NP" on what looked like a periodic table. It had already pasted a post-it note over the space that had once contained the letters GA.


"As for what to do..." she continued, dramatically removing her glasses, "I haven't the slightest idea. Something needlessly elaborate and violent, though. That's the tradition, y'know."

[POS Industries]

"Hey, I was standing there! That's not very nice!"

Rei leaped into the air as the ground was snatched from beneath her and then hurled in her general direction. Changing direction, she moved to intercept the massive chunk of rock and catch it in her artificial gravity field, maneuvering it into orbit around her before grabbing spinning it above her head to gain momentum and hurling it back at Majimmier. At its current velocity, it would impact just after the energy blasts from the Riyal collided with the megazord, as well.

"Right back at ya!"

------------------------------------------------------------

"But really, as cold and cruel as you were in the real world, you never seemed much the one to murder people, especially those you seem to like. You were none too good at first impressions this time around."

Nihilem shrugged, the smile fading from his lips as he eyed the goddess grimly, "We do what we must, because we can.... I'm not above doing whatever's necessary to overcome an obstacle, any obstacle. Before I made it big here in the NPF, I did whatever it took to survive. I lied, cheated, stole, assaulted, and ended lives as it was necessary."

Rising to his feet, POS left the throne behind him as he began slowly walking toward Mesden, glowing red eyes continually remaining locked with her, "Then I joined up with you guys, and I lied, cheated, stole, assaulted, and ended lives as it was necessary to help you save the day, as it not only saved my own hide but obviously benefited me. I found and gained access to means of increasing my own power and influence, and thus was left with no other alternative than to lie, cheat, steal, assault, and end lives in order to further my empire."

He finally came to halt before her, breathing in deeply as the glow faded from his eyes, returning the irises to their original hazel as he stood there, arms crossed, his gaze aligned with hers.

"And yes, if I wanted to go further, I had to work past the inferiority of my own humanity," he sighed, finally breaking the silence, "But I knew what I would inevitably have to deal with if I was going to try taking over the half of the NPF that money couldn't buy. Obviously, the majority of you would do everything possible to stop me. I could've waged war on the NPF Superfriends but it would have been a war that I would have eventually lost. So I had to find a way to overcome you. But then the whole rest of your extended family would make it their business to knock me back down, so I had to take them out first...."

Nihilem stretched out his arms, gesturing to the ruined Pantheon around them, "And so that's where this mess came from. I mean, honestly, I don't actually plan to stay here. This place is atrocious! Could you honestly imagine me living in a dump like this? What do you take me for? Skeletor, or something? Ha!"