NPF Avatars 6, Chapter (6?)7: Didn't your momma tell you not to fight?

[POS Industries]

"Unnnnnhhhhh...."

Pedro groaned loudly, stretching his muscles as he woke up from his nap. The bed wasn't nearly as comfortable as his own and smelled a little gamey, but it was at least a decent enough place to crash after having fucking Meteor summoned on top of him goddamn.

Lazily rolling off the mattress and onto the floor, he climbed to his feet and stumbled around in a drowsy haze, looking down at his ruined suit in disgust as he made his way to the closet and opened the door. Within there seemed to be a nigh-endless supply of identical ninja suits.

"That's good enough for now, I guess," he sighed to himself as he started changing, "At least it all comes in my color."

[The SSB Intern]

SSB sipped the remainder of his coffee. Everyone else in the shop was gazing out the window at the gaping portal to the next dimension. SSB waved his cup.

It was bitter. I hate that...

A young, dark-haired waitress walked up and took his cup. Her look drifted to the hole in space like the others, then back down to SSB. He chuckled.

"Well, Cheri, there's my ride." He touched her hair. "I'll always remember you... as my best." He got up and started to the door, leaving a confounded waitress.

------------------------------------

SSB had tiny arms. Very tiny. So tiny that assembly line work was impossible.

He was shorter than all the other NPFers and floated midair with his Jet Booties.

"And now, generic psychic baby!"

One stout kid jabbed a meaty finger at him. "You're not psychic! You can't just make up powers when you want them."

"Hey, you can't see my mouth with his hood on. How do you know when I'm not using telepathy?"

"Cause you're not."

...

Damn kids.

[Intern Nin]

The trip through the portal became a little more wet than Nin had anticipated.

*GURGLE-GURGLE-COUGH* "Hack! What the hell was that?"

"Deja vu, perhaps?"

Nin jumped out of the car and found that he was in front of a lake watching Pyros get squashed under a giant catfish. A human couple came out of the fish and started talking about adopting some kids. Nin had no idea what they were talkig about until he looked around to see that everyone had been turned into children. He turned his head back to the fish people and tried to focus to see what was going on in their thought bubbles. Both their bubbles read the same thing: Child Laborers=$$$$$$$$.

"Uh-oh, you guys look-."

Nin was suddenly swept up by an oversized glove and brought into a workshop. He looked and shouted to the woman as she was leaving.

"Hey, wait I'm not a-" The door closed. "Agh, stupid witch. How does she mistake a five foot tall turtle for a child?"

Nin scratched his head and found suprise there. Hair. Nin pulled his hand back and finally got a good look at it. It was human hand with five fingers. Nin ran over to a sewing machine made of polished metal and looked into it. Staring back at him was a human child with light brown hair and a slightly chubby face.

"Holy fruits, I have hair! And ears! And no shell! Ack! And no pants!"

Nin quickly buttoned up his coat to cover his nudity. He quickly searched around for a pair of slacks but found that no one was making any. Instead, he grabbed a purse someone was working on and put his legs through it, making it into a pair of substitute shorts.

Well, this a strange sensation I haven't felt in a long time. Modesty. I almost forgot what it was like. Okay, time to think. I've been capture by some weirdos who are forcing me to sew things. I'm now physically about seven or eight years old and no longer a turtle. I need to find out who these guys are exactly, if they have any other plans for us, and how to take them down. And to do that, I need to get out of this room.

Nin wandered around and felt for any flowing air. Sure enough he felt air flowing out of what appeared to be solid ceiling.

"Aha, another cloaked air vent. Now to just ninja-leap up to it."

Nin jumped a few inches and landed on his butt.

"What was that? That was pathetic! It was like I never took four years of ninja trai-... Oh."

Nin now realized the severity of the situation. He was his seven year-old, last place in all physical activites self. There was no punching, kicking, or leaping his way out of this situation. He was now a powerless little boy, trapped in room with no way out and no one was coming to help him. He felt very cold and tears were begining to well up in his eyes. Nin felt like bawling his eyes out and was just about to when he saw a toddler SSB floating in the air with his rocket boots.

Huh? Hey! Of course!

Nin reached into his pocket and pulled out the cosmic battery.

They may have taken away my turtleyness and my ninjaness, but they didn't take away my gear.

"Hey, SSB! Come over here I got a plan!"


Outside, the De Lorean sat near the lake and Thorn sat inside the car.

How dull. Well, at least this will keep them distracted and out of my way for now. The only downside is that now all I can do is wait for the signal.

A knocking came from outside. Thorn opened the door to see an Asheth plushie standing outside.

"There you are! Now come with me, you're due for a dip in the "Spring of the drowned Good Robot with No Free Will or Control Over Cosmic Energy."

Thorn grabbed the plushie's face with his glowing hand. The doll's body burned and twisted until it looked a charred modern art sculpture. Thorn crushed it in his hand leaving only a pile of ash. He closed the door, turned on his cloaking device, and continued to stare at the lake.

[Flarecobra]

"Well. This sucks. Though I do admit...I always wondered what I would've looked like had I been allowed a chance to keep my serpentine form..." I thought to myself, as I looked at what I had on. "And it was pretty imaginitive to make up a jacket that also kept my tail warm...though on the downside...now I cannot move...and I STILL don't have my fire skills. At least whatever it was that happoned to me before is gone now." I thought, punching holes into a leather shoe to have laces put though. I noticed that we seemed to be making imitation name-brand shoes...which might explain how I had picked up those Nikes a while ago that fell apart after only 3 months.

[Bailey]

"Dang it all, which one of you is using the metric system?"

Newb raised his hand. "Mista, whas metwit mean?"

The three year old sneezed, and was suddenly replaced with a lion cub. "Mrow?"

[Loyal]

Silence reigned over the control room. It had been some number of hours since Loyal assumed command of the Deathwish*, and Loyal was still busy in the datacards. While he would still need a fair amount of time (and lots of practice) to master the ship's controls, he figured he had the basics about set by now.

"......"

"......"

Well... this is quite an impressive piece of equipment.
No kidding. There's no telling what this could do in the wrong hands.
It was in the wrong hands. We can only be thankful that our universe was spared its fury. Who knows how many locations in space-time were irrevocably devastated with Thadius at the helm of this beast?
Think of what you could do with this. Where you could go.
Anywhere. The multiverse is mine for the plundering and now I have less accountability for it than ever.
There's also one other place. A significant place to our pasts.
...Ahhh...

Loyal's schizophrenia was interrupted by a tenative "Sir? It has been long enough."

"...right. Right, right." Loyal nodded with each word in response. "Restart the network, and try to find the others. Let's see what they're up to."

"Immediately, sir. Would you like anything else?"

"Yeah." another nod, and a determined grunt. ""Do a search for any place called Regulus. I don't think it's going to be in the same world or even universe as home... But it's important that you find it."

*Let's assume that time is warped or something either here or in the warping between dimensions. Okay? =D

[The SSB Intern]

SSB was now dancing his way to a new high-score. There was no video game. He kept track of points, based on his awesomeness, in his head. OF course, he got a new high scroe every time.

"Hey, SSB! Come over here I got a plan!"

"Huh, what? Who are you? And why are wearing a purse for pants? Are you that new kid, Tommy Pursepants? I hear I should make fun of you."

"No you blue bumbling boob, it's me!"
SSB squinted.

"Oh hey, Nin. You look familiar as a kid. Did you used to be a child actor? It would explain why you became a reptile later on in life."

Nin ignored the ramblings of the flying toddler and pointed to the ceiling.

"See that air duct?"

"No."

*Face-palm*

"Of course you don't. It's cloaked." Nin muttered through his hand.

"Are you sure it's not just in your head? It's been kind of a stresstful day for you..."

"GET UP THERE AND PUNCH IT!" Nin fumed.

SSB held up his hands in surrender and flew up and punched it. Sure enough, an air duct appeared to view. SSB was surprised but quickly returned to his pessimistic mood.

He called to Nin, "This opening in the duct is too small, even for me."

[Intern Nin]

Nin sighed. Well, that's a dead end. No other exits and the door's locked from the outside. If only there were some way to make those crazy people open the door.

Nin snapped his fingers and reached into his coat. He pulled out one of the hologram projecter cubes he stole from the future. He pressed the button on it, threw it on the ground, and suddenly there was a hologram of a family of clone soldiers playing toy dinosaurs with their clone father.

"Roar! T-Rex Snake bites off your puny dino's head, you bed-wetter!", said a hairy man wearing a green bandana.

"Nuh-uh, Brother! Triceratops Snake has a natural shield around his neck! You bite off nothing and Triceratops stabs your stupid turkey of a dino in the chest with his horns!", cried the light haired man.

"Bwa-hahaha! Apatosaurus Snake introduces himself clumsily and then sits on both of your dinos! Ha!", said the older man with the black suit and tentacles.

"What the hell's a potatosaurus?", The T-Rex Snake guy said.

"GRRR RARR! Raptor Snake makes mince-meat out of all the Les Enfants Dinosaurs! RARR!", Said an elderly one-eyed man who bore a striking resemblence to Sean Connery.

Hmm, must have taken someone's old home movies by mistake. Oh well, this still works.

Nin ran up to the door and started banging on it.

"HELP! HELP, MISS! THERE ARE SOME GROWN-UPS IN HERE WHO THINK THEY'RE DINOSAURS AND ARE SAYING THAT THEY'RE GOING TO CALL CHILD SERVICES TO ALERT THEM ABOUT THE WORKSHOP!"

Meanwhile on the outside, Thorn continued to sit in the De Lorean comepletely bored.



Well, this is dull. I need something to keep myself occupied. Perhaps I could find some tadpoles, cook them up into a stew, and then feed it to that idiot Nin and everyone else in the group. Yes, sounds like good way to pass the time.

Thorn decloaked and stepped out of the car. He walked up to the lake and started scanning it for frog spawn. Then all of sudden a giant shadow fell on him. Thorn turned his head around to see a giant draconic bunny(or is it a bunnyish dragon?) looming over him. Thorn's hands glowed but the fluffy terror was too fast for him. The monster held Thorn in his jaws and began to chew him. Thorn quickly detatched his legs, slid down the wyrm-bunny's esophagus, and swam through the lagomorph's digestive tract until he came to the organ he had been looking for.

Here we go. The brain. Now I'll just take take control of this beast. Thorn's hands glowed and he pressed them against the walls of the organ.

On the outside, the dragon bunny spat out the legs and then it suddenly doubled over in pain, clutching it's stomach. It groaned and growled, until finally it farted and left some firey dragon pellets on the ground behind it. The monster sighed and then hopped off, ignoring the strange sensation in its appendix.

[mauve]

Mauve no longer had a hat. This distressed her.

In addition to lack of hat, she was shorter than she remembered. She looked down. Her limbs were skinnier than they used to be, and she appeared to have long light-blond hair that went almost to her waist. And she had a space between her front teeth. And then she knew. She was a kid.

"Aw man, the pre-braces years," Mauve grumbled. She looked around at the workshop.

"Okay, I know for a fact my childhood wasn't this sucky," she declared. "Sure, it wasn't perfect, but I distinctly remember having a pony. Two ponies, eventually. And a rabbit. And a dog. And a big backyard. And Barbies. Lots of Barbies."

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Daimo/Mac looked around the legion of children, wondering what in the sevens level of hell what happenned. "Am I er are we reliving our childhood?"

"Yes. And I am guessing this is after I made my invisible friends. " asked Mac in his head, as he sat in a corner by himself and played on a plastic guitar. "That would explain why you are still around."

"And years later, one of them would gain sentience and take over your body," Daimo mused.