It Lives!!!!

[CelesJessa]

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

I present to you Twilight: The Illustrated Edition.

Got to the summary of the last book (I believe it's the last book anyway):

And it turns out that the baby is crazy strong and starts breaking Bella apart from the inside. Ribs, bruising her organs, etc. Then, Bella's SPINE BREAKS, wheee! But no one can give her a C-Section, because the baby is in a protective vampire-marble womb. WHAT CAN WE DO?

TURN BACK NOW IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH - scroll to the next blink

Let's get Edward, with his super strong diamond teeth, to BITE THE BABY OUT OF THE UTERUS. And describe all the blood and gore. WHAT A GREAT IDEA. And while this is happening, Bella is AWAKE. And dying. So I give her CPR while Edward does his "surgery."

"The next sound jolted through me, unexpected, terrifying. Like metal being shredded apart. The sound brought back the fight in the clearing so many months ago, the tearing sound of the newborns being ripped apart. I glanced over to see Edward's face pressed against the bulge. Vampire teeth:* a surefire way to cut through vampire skin."

Just what.... the heck? I have no words.

[Bells]

how did she manage to go from "90201: Vampires" to Vorarephilia in 3 books?

[Doc ock rokc]

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

From the man who brought you the many deaths of Animated Starscream brings you.

The many many many deaths of Waspinator.

[Bells]

Batman and Superman : You're gay

[Nikose Tyris]

Jizz in my pants.

Where do we FIND this shit, my god.

[Kim]

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

I present to you Twilight: The Illustrated Edition.

FUCK.

That's the plot of the four books?

This isn't some strange joke?

No. I refuse to believe it and anyone who says that a plot that retarded is loved by all is obviously lying. But seriously...

FUCK.

[Krylo]

Originally Posted by Fifthfiend

I present to you Twilight: The Illustrated Edition.

The best part of this was the link to the Harry Enfield youtube.

I find that hilariously ironic considering it's in the 'Not Goddamn Yootoobs' thread.

The rest of it was also great, though.

[Bells]

Cat Face's gets ripped off, cat is fine!

Me-ouch! Veterinarians in Boston on Tuesday performed an unusual surgery to reattach the face of a cat they believe was injured by a car's fan belt when she likely tried to stay warm under the hood.

Edgar, a 4-year-old long-haired feline, went missing from her home in Winthrop for three days last week. When she finally came home, her owner found her in her litter box -- with part of her face dangling from her head.

"When her owner saw her face, she passed out," said Elizabeth Kendrick, a surgical technician at Angell Animal Medical Center.

The owner, who asked not to be identified, recovered from the shock and rushed Edgar to the animal hospital.

Remarkably, Edgar suffered no major blood lost nor sustained any permanent nerve damage from her accident. She just needed to have her facial skin stitched back on during an hour surgery, according to veterinary surgeon Michael Pavletic.

"And she should be fine after this," Pavletic said.

Besides the skin hanging from Edgar's face, Edgar seemed normal, Kendrick said.

"She was purring and sticking her head up so we could pet her," Kendrick said. "She even tried to chew at her skin. I'd never seen anything like it."

Pavletic reattached Edgar's face using about 35 stitches. She came through the hour surgery with no problems, though she looks as though someone punched her in the eye. "She'll need to take some medicine but I don't anticipate her having any problems," Pavletic said.

Bonnie Beaver, a professor of small animal clinical services at Texas A&M University, said such animal injuries are extremely rare since cats are usually killed instantly from car fan belts.

"She may have problems later," Beaver said, "but the cat was saying, "I may have lost this life but, by golly, I have eight more."

http://www.mail.com/Article.aspx?art...bcat=&pageid=1

[Flarecobra]

F/A-18D Hornet crashes into housing complex near Miramar, in San Diego. 3 dead, one missing. Cause of crash is ongoing