02-02-2010, 11:38 PM | #81 |
Stop the hate
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Drank |
02-03-2010, 01:08 AM | #82 |
The Ever-Changing
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POKECHU
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02-03-2010, 04:59 AM | #83 |
Fate Averted
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Mascot
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02-07-2010, 12:51 PM | #84 |
An increasingly inaccurate name
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: University. Don't try to reach me; it'll be a long wait.
Posts: 509
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Well I rolled some dice and randomly chose one of your suggested names.
Although I made a slight alteration. <I think that's a GREAT name! Don't you agree? Do you think that's a great name too?> <Er... yes?> <TOTALLY! I knew you'd find it cool too! Don't you wish you had a name as cool as that?> <Sometimes I do... but not in this case.> Oh yeah, so here we are in Viridian Forest still. This is a WARNING. It means you will be poisoned in this area. Heck no, I WANT to be in them so I can subject my captive beasts to all sorts of unusual punishment in order to make them stronger! <That... that's kinda worrying.> Alright! This is the one I want. First, we weaken it... Then, you try and catch it. Just like those TRAINER TIPS tell you to. Easy catch. This was the first thing that came to mind, so I'm going with it. <Hey, um, what just happened? I'm all kinds of confused here.> <Oh, you just got knocked for a loop and then stuffed inside a spherical container smaller than you, in defiance of a few laws of physics; nothing special really.> <I... guess that's a reasonable explanation?> <That it is, friend. That it is.> <Okay who invited you to this conversation.> <Dude, we're all friends here, right? You gotta be more friendly if you wanna keep in touch.> <Look, I... urrrrggghhh! Forget it.> Now let's change the order up a bit. Why am I talking to you. Hey, I've still got 8 or so left, and there's only one more Pokemon I could possibly want from this place... not that I'd use it. Besides, I have other things to do than to waste time talking to you. Like this, for one. Metapods and Kakunas are a good source of free EXP for one simple reason. No, I want YOU to figure it out. The problem is that these guys take a lot longer to kill when you're only using a Caterpie. Some amount of patience is required. Alright! Only need 6 more levels on this baby! We stop by Viridian's Pokemon Center to recharge PP before getting back into the action. And one of these finally show up. Oh look at me, I'm the OLD MAN and I'm going to throw a Poke Ball right off the bat and catch it at full health! See! This is how you youngsters catch them Pokemon! Ho ho ho! Yeah, I got nothin'. So, after a few more Metapods, we get our Caterpie up another level. AND THEN! <Okay, WHAT. That is not evolution. That is simply a natural progression from a larval stage to a pupal stage. Evolution is supposed to be about genetic variance and the creation of a new species and all that crap! What the hell!> <I'm not entirely sure what you said, and I'm also not entirely sure how I even got this new body. It was kinda... spontaneous.> <DAMMIT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THIS I AAAARRRRGBLGLLGLBBBBBLLL> In this game, Metapod doesn't learn Harden when you get it from evolving Caterpie. Later games fix it so that Metapod both starts with it and then learns it at level 7. Oh hey, who's this guy who seems to be waiting in such a way that I can't get past this path without being seen? No, um, how about you go back to your friend and ask if he'd want to fight you. Really, I'm sure he would. Stupid forced battles. No points for guessing the theme of his Pokemon. Now, as everyone knows bug Pokemon are at a disadvantage against poison. So, let's bring out a pure poison Pokemon. Oh how I love the total randomness of the AI in this game. Okay what. If you're already faster than your opponent, using a speed debuff will just make you waste a turn. Especially since my strategy at this point is to attack relentlessly. Even the game flat-out tells you that you fail. YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL ATTACK! USE IT! IT MAY NOT BE EFFECTIVE, BUT IT STILL CAUSES DAMAGE! Seriously. When you switch Pokemon in the middle of battle, EXP is distributed evenly between all participants. <Adrian did something good, right?> Alright, that's... marginally better than Tackle I guess? Weak. Still, Jeigan needs the EXP more than Adrian. Oh not this again. Just imagine this is what the entire battle looks like. Yeah, that was annoying. YOU WIN PERFECT I had a Caterpie and it used better tactics than yours did. Then it grew into Metapod and I beat yours with it. These guys are the small-time trainers who barely put up a challenge, so naturally the rewards aren't so great. Still, I'd like to see a Bug Catcher with all Scizor and Heracross. Damningly, once you beat a trainer once, they'll never challenge you again. This means that until you reach the Elite Four, the game will only give you a finite amount of money. It's quite painful to lose a lot of battles in this game. They fixed this in the later games, which is nice, but it kinda takes away the fear of losing and the necessity of training extra hard to win. Okay who's this guy who's looking in the other direction now? I grab his attention and this is what he tells me. Okay, so this one has three Pokemon! That puts him one step higher than the others we've fought so far! I send Jeigan out only to replace him with Adrian. I am such a kooky fellow. Finally, this one is actually smart! I can't complain since Poison Sting is the only attack Weedle has. Yeah, Adrian can outlast this guy. I don't see the difference between Tackle and Scratch. Still, I suppose it's more accurate. The inevitable conclusion. Alright, this could prove to be a fair match between his and Gofur's cocoon Pokemon. I am suddenly reminded of that episode where two trainers both use Metapod and the battle never gets anywhere because the two Metapods are only trying to out-Harden the other. Jeigan actually has an attack so that makes him infinitely better than that Kakuna. For beating a sitting target, Jeigan is awarded with more experience. Game logic, I guess. Alright, four more levels left! Okay what. I just beat a Weedle with no effort. You know, having two of the same Pokemon isn't very smart. Especially since I'll just use the same tactics to beat you again. You see? Not very smart. Same opponent, same tactics, same experience. Gofur must be very proud to be beating up other kids like a bully. What, you just noticed now? Two Weedles and a Kakuna is worth 10 Pokemon Dollars more than a Weedle and a Caterpie. Do the math. I can't. No, you just need to train your Weedles and Kakuna until they... okay, yeah, maybe you should catch some better Pokemon. I think Johto has some Heracross if you like a fighter. The hell I will! Unless Oak has any sort of useful reward for doing so, I'm not going to waste my time on that! Oh hey, another Poke Ball! Wait, antidotes are shaped like Poke Balls now? Unavoidable patches of tall grass. Terrific. Still, gotta get more EXP. The exit must be somewhere close. This is not a maze. This is just a giant winding path meant to waste my time. Guess what that ball-shaped thing is, win a prize! Your prize is a Potion! Yeah, the game makes it clear that stealing other trainers' Pokemon is a very bad thing to do. Good thing none of the protagonists in the series would ever do such a thing, right? And we have another forced battle. Great. I was TALKING to YOU, moron. Thankfully, we only have one Pokemon to fight. And it's another Weedle. Y'know, normally at this point that Weedle should've evolved into Kakuna, giving it all the stats of one but with the moveset of Weedle, and therefore... oh why am I saying this he's not even listening. It is at this point that I remember Bard needs to get some levels too. <Yeah, it's about time you finally figured that out.> <...who are you talking to?> <Nobody. Now move it.> <ALRIGHT! Now let's try out my-> <GAAAHHH SONUVA-!> <Huh, this... is sorta awkward to do. I mean I gotta whip my tail around while looking in the other direction in the hopes that the embers will be thrown in the direction of the enemy... also I'm pretty sure this could easily turn into a local disaster if even one of these trees catches fire.> <Oh well, all for the sake of winning, right?> <BLAAAHHH! GICK! Oh, jeez, this stuff is NASTY.> <Dammit you just had to add injury to insult why don't you.> <I have had enough of this. Hyaaa!> Easy win. <Easy for you to say, you know how hard it is to get this white goop off? Goddammit.> Alright, three left! <Hey, what about me? I did the work here! Spotlight-stealing jerk...> <Well, finally I get a level in this update.> <Damn right we are! Also, there's a big difference between "losing to a really good player" and "just plain sucks at this."> Okay, so one level 9 Weedle gives us 20 dollars more than the last guy? Seriously, WHAT. <Errgh, don't question it, it's video game logic, move along.> I know, it's in plain sight and nobody but the player seems to be wanting to pick it up. That's nice. Also, if you're looking for a Poke Ball, an Antidote, and a Potion, I think that other guy back there may have something to do with it. Well I'm going back to recharge my Pokemons' PP before taking on the next part of the gauntlet. DAMMIT Yes, but it's not as if it'll be important later on, right? Yes, but... we have axes. And chainsaws. And scissors. Cut them down yourselves! PROTIP: To find different Pokemon, look in different places! Oh hey, a patch of grass. Maybe there's some new Pokemon here! Or not. Alright, here's the next town. You can tell because the palette has changed. First we'll need to recharge PP again. Oh hey, a Pokemon is here. And it sings a song while doing a dance if you talk to it. Alright, this is the point where I go on a leveling spree, which I'm sure you won't bother to read through in its entirety since that would take too long, so I'm going to skip it and give you the highlights. <WOW! I've turned into... a woman?> <Ugh. No... just... let's not give any of the deviants out there any ideas for their next fanart.> So finally I've levelled up all of these suckers and Jeigan finally learned Confusion, which is important, because it's a Psychic move, and Psychics are very broken in this game. We'll need it to take on the first gym. Which we'll do in the next update! <Also, good Arceus, my next naturally-learned fire move is 24 levels away.> Last edited by Great Cartoonist; 02-07-2010 at 02:39 PM. |
02-07-2010, 01:28 PM | #85 |
Funka has spoken!
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,087
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I was about to ask why we didn't get a Mankey to Low Kick the crap out of Brock's rocks but then I remembered that we're playing Blue.
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02-07-2010, 01:31 PM | #86 |
Burn.
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That is, if he doesn't evolve... Then won't get it until lev.41.
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"Only the fool wishes to go into battle to beat someone for the satisfaction of beating someone." -A Thousand Sons Rules. Read them, know them, love them. |
02-07-2010, 01:35 PM | #87 |
Fungus Among Us
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Adrian has some issues. I like it.
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Eat me!
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02-07-2010, 08:52 PM | #88 |
GHOST BOTTOMED DICK FACE
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Having a raging horn-on for your older brother is not an issue. It is a motherfucking COMPLEX, man.
Also, poor Bard. He can't get along with anyone on his master's team. |
02-07-2010, 10:42 PM | #89 |
Feelin' Super!
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4,191
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Indeed, it is a problem, an amusing one.
It is this problem that makes me hope you keep Adrian and Shepard longer than I kept my early Pokemon. |
02-09-2010, 06:27 PM | #90 |
GHOST BOTTOMED DICK FACE
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I'm actually hoping that Bard finds a couple of other friends in Gofur's travels. I had been hoping Mascot would be one of those, but apparently, something about the lightning rat puts him off.
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