D&D Shenanigans

[EVILNess]

I must point out that I am disappointed that none of you said anything about the prospect of a high fantasy Mad Max.

[Geminex]

Ignore that, I'm not sure what I was thinking exactly.

You were thinking that the results of both dice got multiplied, it seems. And, in fact, that wouldn't even be a D79, because if you went with multiplication, certain numbers would be far more likely than others. I'm guessing that's why nobody multiplies.

...

Yeah, I got nothin'. Carry on.

[Yumil]

Originally Posted by Geminex

You were thinking that the results of both dice got multiplied, it seems. And, in fact, that wouldn't even be a D79, because if you went with multiplication, certain numbers would be far more likely than others. I'm guessing that's why nobody multiplies.

...

Yeah, I got nothin'. Carry on.

Besides thinking of one as the tens digit and the other as the ones is easier, specially if you suck at math(why youd be playing pen and paper with insufficient math skills is beyond me).

[tacticslion]

Because it doesn't function in the title box:

Originally Posted by tacticslion

I used-ed too many lots of words!

Originally Posted by Krylo

D00d! Juu uz3d t0w m4ny w0rds and br0ked my h34d!

Sorry, Krylo, my bad! Also, minor threadjack! ... Which should probably be a PM!By the way, I've been spelling your name with a lower-case "k", because I thought that's how you did, however the quote box clearly uses capital "K" when it quotes you. You got a preference? I mean, I clearly see when I highlight your name that it's spelled with an upper case... so, I don't know where I got the lower-cased thing. In a void of response from you, I'll start with the upper case.

Originally Posted by EVILNess

Hey, I got better.

I got fail safes* you see.

*(Some of which I keep the bodies of minions who failed me)

They killed you, they didn't turn you into a newt! ... not that Baleful Polymorph could keep you down long, regardless. Also... keep the bodies of your minions who failed you as a "fail safe"? I am horrified, yet I dare not look away!

Originally Posted by EVILNess

I must point out that I am disappointed that none of you said anything about the prospect of a high fantasy Mad Max.

Yeah, I would have, but I figured I'd dominated the thread long enough. So I waited 'til others spoke so I could dominate the thread then!

Originally Posted by Yumil

(why youd be playing 4th Edition is beyond me).

Fixed that for you!Kidding! I play 4th Edition too. However it seems to generally have come into existance specifically to cut down on math in PnP.

*This meme is probably just for this post. I had to get it out of my system.

[krogothwolf]

I just had some awesome fun!

I have a Dwarf Cleric eh, with a warhammer +3 that's blessed, by my god no less! Anyways, we were fighting Devils so, Before hand I had Bull Strenghted Massed me and our 2 tanks. Follwed by righteous might then divine fury. Waded in and SMASH! The demon was gone in one round of combat! I shredded the thing, then cleaved into the next one.(Going for a Divine Hammerer) The other Devil, which took massive damage from a criticalx3 cleave retreated leaving the controlling mage alone. The DM couldn't believe how quickly the 2 devils fell. It was Glorious!!!

[tacticslion]

Originally Posted by krogothwolf

It was Glorious!!!

NICE! I especially love the critical x3 - that's an awesome, especially when added to your other very cleverly placed bonuses (enhancement, size, and divine all stack instead of overlap)! Why'd you already have MB'sSTR running, though? Smashin' through other enemies I'm guessin'? That said, Divine Fury is that feat in Complete Divine that allows you to channel Turn Undead into *IMMA SMASH YOUSE!* right? Kind of like a Smite-On-Demand? Is that a standard or swift action? ...I can't find my Complete D. to check! What kind of devils were they? More details! The nerdy heart that beats within my chest loves them so!

[krogothwolf]

Sorry, my bad! I meant Divine Power. So I have 20 str thanks to a blessing I recieved from my god for preforming and awesome quest(got +2str and +2 wis!So I have 24 Wisdom to boot) Then got +8 size bonus to strenght and the +6 enhancement bonus to str from Divine Power. I WAS MONSTOROUS!!! I had 34 str. So a +12! along with +3 for my weapon, which added 2d6 against devils and with my size I was rolling 4d6! To hit. I Broke his encounter. I hadn't used either of those spells before so he figured it'd be a tough encounter and all, 2 high level demons and a high level mage verses are tired party from wading through a few tough minions of his. Plus in turn 6 he was supposed to have 2 mages teleport in.

Anyways, being lvl 16 I got the 4th Attack thanks to my Attack Bonus becoming 16! It was wonderful. I rolled a crit on my first attack, and did 18x2+15=51 damage, then 2 regular hits at 31 and 29, then a second crit with my last one which I rolled all 6's! for 24x2+15 for 63 damage! I murdered the bastard!(the other guys had done about 40-50 damage after DR to it before I wadded in to the frey). Then I smacked the second one for 22x3+15! So 81 damage! IT WAS GLORIOUS! So he had to bring in the reinforcement mages in earlier! The first one teleported in beside me and I got an attack of opportunity on it and I killed him in that hit and then chased him down and slaughtered him my next go. All the mages started blasting at me at that point but it was okay, they used fire and I had my shield that had me only take half damage from fire, plus I kept saving, so I was talking half of that! Everyone was laughing as the mages tried invisibility then I'd purge the area. God It was great.

[tacticslion]

Originally Posted by krogothwolf

Rock!

Sounds awesome and tons of fun! Also: did I have a wierd dream, or did you write somewhere about your GM creating feats and stuff?

Originally Posted by krogothwolf

My bad

Que? I think you did fine, I don't see anything wrong here.

In my own (4E) game, so far I've:
planted a Dream Seed (a kind of semi-permanent "trust me" charm-like effect that's really difficult to pull off) on the queen of the evil organization (a unique multi-racial woman), her only other living consort (a super-smart drow aracnomancer; my character's the "other" other living consort), and a small imp originally summoned by the queen. The drow mage woke up first and I've convinced her that a) it was the fault of a "Genus Loci" (a rare primal earth-spirit that absorbs and responds to the emotions/worship of those living in an area) and b) to help me convince the queen, orcs, dragonborn, and the rest to completely switch religions.

The Genus Loci Story (according to my character):
Here's the not-true events the drow believes happened.There's a Genus Loci - a kind of rare and powerful primal spirit - that inhabits the mountain. It feeds off of and empowers certain emotions and beliefs - those that are held and expressed strongly enough for long enough repeatedly within its presence. Eventually it takes on the properties of that worship/belief and expresses itself through those who are within it - a kind of emotional possession and mental influence, so it doesn't completely dictate the actions of the subject, but dictates the kind of actions and their ultimate goal. Simultaneously, it can be "bargained" with by a subject (that subject generally thinking they are bargaining with themself) who successfully either recognizes the sway held over it or simply that something is wrong; such "bargaining" basically consists of "if we wait to do X, or add him/her to our 'collective spirit' we can do/accomplish X better". After the possession is over (through whatever means) the subject pretty much falls unconscious for a while. In our specific case, the Genus Loci was supposedly the result of the worship of Gruumsh, Lolth, and Tiamat - destruction, treachery, and desire (as taught by the Queen in her version of the "Dark Trinity"). My character supposedly "tricked" the Genus Loci once he was possessed into slowly possessing everyone else, until he could convince it that the best host for its full essence was the orc chieftain (one of the consorts). The Genus Loci then fully bonded with the orc-chieftain (while retaining only the most minor elements within its other hosts) who went insane and tried to kill everyone (and succeeded at killing the last consort), only to be killed in return. Then my character used his (until then carefully hidden) healing power - granted by Bahamut - to heal the minds of those fallen under its sway (who soon started falling unconscious), including the drow, who now believes this hook, line, and sinker. As a bonus, she's convinced that it also messes with your memories, so if some people say slightly contradictory things, that's why. What really happened can be found here, or if you don't feel like searching:here 'ya go.

Originally Posted by tacticslion

To review: My lawful good follower of Bahamut lied his way into a position of prominance in an evil organization, seduced the ruler, betrayed all of his new 'friends' (killing two of them, with a third killed on false pretenses) and installed a puppet governor instead, granting me virtually limitless power over a bloodthirsty mob.

My party: just watched and thwacked bad guys every once in a while on my say-so.

Also, technically he never lied, exactly (well, he did once, but that was on accident and was minor) - he simply told the truth in such a way that everyone heard what they wanted to hear.

The New Religion: It's both complicated and relies on chicanery and rules-lawyering (in the religious, not game-power sense). I love it.We've got the Religious character in our group - a half-elf paladin of Sehanine - creating this whole "gleaming Trinity" schtick comprised of Bahamut (dragon/born) [me], Kord (part/orc) [none in our party, but see below], and Eilistraee/Sehanine (the half-elf). Eilistraee is going to be seen as an aspect of Sehanine. The Paladin is all about this because Sehanine is a goddess of trickery (and nowhere that any of us know about is Sehanine really Eilistraee) and illusion (meaning it totally makes sense that a gorgeous femal elf could convincingly appear as a gorgeous female drow) and both deities are of the moon and rather... shall we say, risque night-time activities (Eil's is nude dancing while Seh's is finding a lover, but still, risque). Further: both are totally anti-Lolth! Moradin, the last of the three deities that sent us on this mission (Bahamut [me], Sehanine [the half-elf], and Moradin [the dwarf wizard]) seems to get the shaft, however Kord and Bahamut are both "best buds forever", as my character would put it, with Moradin, and thus he recieves a place of honor and veneration. Also (regardless of the "truth" which is malleable with deities's "true forms" anyway) Kord is totally a (half-)orc who's all about the (half-)orc people. We'll just leave out the "(half-)" part when we're selling it. The drow aracnomancer has effectively bought it all, hook, line, and sinker.

Finally: Smarty! Get in here and get to yappin'! I've only been waiting, like, forever!

[krogothwolf]

No, you did, but then I remembered that was a different campaign then the one we played the last few times and corrected myself. He did make a Divine Fury feat that gives 1d6 to str to 1 character/level. He made my Barbarian a Dragon Roar feat that allows him to preform a Dragon Breath attack 1 per day per 2 levels, it's kinda fun to use. He's made a few other ones that I can't remember off the top of my head.

[BitVyper]

Okay, no D&D this week again (gah), but here's an old WH40K story. The Legend of the Archer:

It all started when two of my friends were having a game of WH40K. Space Marines vs Tyranids. Space Marines were in trouble. I was bored, and I'd found a vanilla WH archer sitting around - just one of the ordinary guys. As the Tyranids were closing on a group of Marines, I suddenly stuck him on top of a hill and shouted "NOT WHILE I'M AROUND." So began his legend.

The archer has singlehandedly killed a Carnifex. Some orks believe that he is Gork.... or Mork. Some believe him to be a mortal avatar of the Emperor himself. No one really knows anything about him though. He appears on battlefields seemingly out of nowhere, does his work, and vanishes. You never know which side he'll help, just that you don't want to be on the other one. He can singlehandedly darken the sky with an endless supply of arrows. He can outfight orks in close combat; in fact he once garroted a warboss with one of his spare bowstrings. He doesn't have a ship of any kind - instead he fires an arrow which opens a small hole directly to the Warp and cuts a path directly to his destination. Daemons know well enough to leave him alone, and when they see the blazing white glow of his arrow, they run home to their Daemon houses and shut the doors tight.

Ever wonder why Old One Eye only has one eye? Whatever you may have heard about a weakness to plasma weapons and such is a pile of horseshit. The Archer happened to its eye. No one knows why he let it live. Some speculate that he did it just to show the Hive Mind that he could kill anything it made, anytime he wanted.