05-02-2011, 01:05 AM | #1 |
for all seasons
|
5 Fast 5 Furious: Diesalien vs. TheRockedator
This movie is everything I could possibly have hoped for it to be.
__________________
check out my buttspresso
|
05-02-2011, 01:40 AM | #2 |
That's so PC of you
|
It's so stupid i just HAVE to see it!
Is it in 3d? cause i would love to see this ridonculous piece of film in 3d |
05-02-2011, 04:02 PM | #3 |
Archer and Armstrong vs. the World
|
Reasons film is the greatest work of cinematography:
1. Director had foresight to have Rock grow evil-twin-beard so the fight between him and Diesel wouldn't be confusing to us. 2. Physics of bank heist scene so unrealistic they could only have been done so on purpose by advanced physicists to illustrate how Diesel's presence warps space-time. 3. The Rock's rampant, torrential sweating in contrast with Vin Diesel's dry-as-a-desert facade perfect use of symbolism for how Diesel's vigilante schemes are closer to the spirit of the law than The Rock's bureaucratic "justice". 4. Bro-hug levels in this film reach heretofore unknown levels of bro-hug-ocity, shattering humanity's preconceptions of bromance. 5. Objectivization of women's bodies brought to new, staggeringly sexy heights. 6. Amount of alcohol consumed by characters only matched by amount of fuel consumed, illustrating the American culture's obsession with consumption. 7. Film challenges our moral compasses by having us see Vin Deisel rip-off mobsters, but then attempt to have us feel he is perfectly in the right to get revenge on them for trying to kill him by ripping them off even more. 8. Amount of words spoken by the Rock number in hundreds instead of only dozens, illustrating new advances in Rock-dialogue technology. 9. Paul Walker's performance as Vin Diesel's mentally challenged friend and soon-to-be in-law should earn him an Academy Award. 10. Lotsa cars smashed real good.
__________________
The Valiant Review |
05-02-2011, 04:14 PM | #4 | ||
for all seasons
|
Quote:
NOS can do anything. Quote:
__________________
check out my buttspresso
Last edited by Fifthfiend; 05-02-2011 at 04:16 PM. |
||
05-02-2011, 04:23 PM | #5 |
wat
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,177
|
THERE we go.
e: second law, watch yoooo back! e2: how about "vin diesel being IN-YO-FACE is never zero and always increasing." Last edited by Azisien; 05-02-2011 at 04:30 PM. |
05-02-2011, 04:33 PM | #6 | |
Objectively The Third Worst
|
I was worried that the cast would seem good or that the whole thing would devolve into a GOOD GUYS OVER HERE BAD GUYS OVER THERE OKAY FIGHT kinda thing but it always seemed to be taking lengths to make sure you understood that there is no good or evil, only Vin Diesel's muscles and the Rock's beard.
__________________
Quote:
|
|
05-02-2011, 05:18 PM | #7 |
That's so PC of you
|
i'm pretty sure the moment you have a truck being rammed into a Train, and they cars jumping Through that same train, you can toss out any balance of heroes and villains
|
05-02-2011, 05:40 PM | #8 | |
for all seasons
|
Quote:
Especially since it even had that one guy in it.
__________________
check out my buttspresso
|
|
05-02-2011, 05:40 PM | #9 | |
Archer and Armstrong vs. the World
|
Quote:
__________________
The Valiant Review |
|
05-02-2011, 05:41 PM | #10 |
for all seasons
|
The School of Hard NOS
__________________
check out my buttspresso
|
|
|