Mo' Like Green LanTURD, AMIRITE!? GUYS?!

[Lumenskir]

Ugh, got to the movie theater an hour early, so we decided to sneak into the last 40 minutes of this while we sobered up before Super 8.

Honestly, if you told me that this movie took a week to write, I would tell you to fuck off with your inflated time frames and look at the final action sequence. It really seems like the writers were inflicted with a neurotoxin and told they would only be given the antidote if they rushed the script in, because how else do you explain:

-So GL and Brainiac fight, and GL wins, and Brainiac just...walks away I guess while GL sulks?
-Blake Lively is some sort of computer genius? Also, that those computers would definitely be working great right after an explosion happened like three feet away.
-So, the ring can create anything...like, let's say bullets. Why make a gun to shoot bullets when you can have a ring that shoots bullets. Also, why shoot bullets at all, you have a fucking ring that can make anything.
-Does GL have an irrational hatred of satellites in the comics? Because there is no other reason why he had to throw that satellite.
-"Guys, there's totally a really dense asteroid field like thirty seconds away from Earth, right? And it just sort of ends, right?"
-The cloud chasing GL literally looked like a green line being chased by the angriest clip art in the universe.
-"Guys, it totally only takes like thirty seconds to get to the sun right? Also, you don't have to go through the asteroid belt again, because that's totally on the way to the sun and not actually in the complete opposite direction, right?"
-Was the "bigger you are = faster you burn" thing established before in the movie Hahaha, that part makes no sense no matter what.
-So it takes him thirty seconds to fly to the sun, but he still needs to strap himself to two fighter jets to get the speed necessary to barely escape? Why not an entire fleet of fighter jets, or anything else he wanted? Were his space helicopters in the garage or something?

Just...ugh. I feel like I should have just stared at my Super 8 ticket.

What are the odds I'm going to like Green Lantern?

It's a ridiculous caricature of a movie that tries to distract the audience from noticing the lack of a meaningful story or interesting characters by throwing up mounds of special effects, which themselves aren't that impressive after being displayed so often the audience becomes inured to them. Meanwhile, the basic moral is that no matter how long Others with different skin color have done something, they still need the help of a white man to solve all of their problems after a week of training in the practices they have done forever...so I dunno, only if you're into those kinds of things.

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Lumenskir

-So GL and Brainiac fight, and GL wins, and Brainiac just...walks away I guess while GL sulks?

I think you mean Sinestro, not Brainiac. And yes, Sinestro does get to walk away while GL sulks, because Sinestro is just that cool a dude.

I mean, probably not in this movie because it sounds like it doesn't do anything right, but Sinestro in the comics is basically the best character in the DCU.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

Originally Posted by POS Industries

I think you mean Sinestro, not Brainiac. And yes, Sinestro does get to walk away while GL sulks, because Sinestro is just that cool a dude.

I mean, probably not in this movie because it sounds like it doesn't do anything right, but Sinestro in the comics is basically the best character in the DCU.

He means Hector Hammond. And Sinestro is so fucking wasted in this movie that I don't even know why they bothered to include him.

[Lumenskir]

I think you mean Sinestro, not Brainiac. And yes, Sinestro does get to walk away while GL sulks, because Sinestro is just that cool a dude.

No, in this movie Sinestro is like the second best good guy until I guess after the credits where they say he is evil for the sequel. In this movie GL fights a giant brained Peter Sarsgaard.

Actually, the only good part of that bit was when Brainiac first manifests his powers by throwing off his shackles and rising up very Michael Jackson-esque.

[The Sevenshot Kid]

Originally Posted by Lumenskir

No, in this movie Sinestro is like the second best good guy until I guess after the credits where they say he is evil for the sequel. In this movie GL fights a giant brained Peter Sarsgaard.

Actually, the only good part of that bit was when Brainiac first manifests his powers by throwing off his shackles and rising up very Michael Jackson-esque.

You know how little you saw of Sinestro in that part of the movie? That was pretty much it!

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Lumenskir

No, in this movie Sinestro is like the second best good guy until I guess after the credits where they say he is evil for the sequel. In this movie GL fights a giant brained Peter Sarsgaard.

Ohhhh, Hector Hammond! Yeah, that's not Brainiac. Just a guy with a big brain, I guess.

...Look, there's a reason nobody gives a shit about the Green Lantern villains that aren't just other colored Lanterns, okay?

[Aerozord]

Originally Posted by Lumenskir

-"Guys, there's totally a really dense asteroid field like thirty seconds away from Earth, right? And it just sort of ends, right?"

Yup, well until you hit the kupier belt, though despite what every media ever has shown. "dense asteroid field" means they are only hundreds of miles apart instead of millions of miles. You can fly right through the asteroid belt and not even see one

[Krylo]

Originally Posted by Lumenskir

-"Guys, it totally only takes like thirty seconds to get to the sun right?

It does if you're going sixteen times the speed of light.

Was he going sixteen times the speed of light?

[Magus]

He was bookin' but we could still see him, so no. He just warps space time with green power.

Originally Posted by Bells

Brian Reynolds

Hahaha that is all this guy deserves, he better bring the Deadpool soon or his best movie to date will be "Blade Trinity".

This movie was terrible in ways that X-Men Origins: Wolverine could only dream of but one "good" thing was it decided to introduce Amanda Waller and Cadmus in an incredibly boring way that everyone will forget about when they get around to making The Man of Steel and bring that shit back or whenever the hell they're going to bring it back...I think they're going for a Marvel-esque "put S.H.I.E.L.D. in every movie" thing to create "continuity" but fucking it up with terrible movies, hopefully the next DC movie doesn't suck big time, but at least Nolan will be in charge of it.

Also per your earlier topic, can you guys clarify if you are talking about "Hulk" or "The Incredible Hulk" because those were totally different movies and the second one was way better, unless you are Smarty in which case the best movie ever is always going to be the terrible version of it. For example, when the new Captain America comes out, Smarty will be sure to claim the old made-for-TV one starring Reb Brown is really the best movie ever, because something something.

Originally Posted by POS Industries

Ohhhh, Hector Hammond! Yeah, that's not Brainiac. Just a guy with a big brain, I guess.

...Look, there's a reason nobody gives a shit about the Green Lantern villains that aren't just other colored Lanterns, okay?

This was my thing with this: is this seriously the best this universe has to offer for villains? These were like the worst freaking things. One is kind of a pushover because his power is sort of like Green Lanterns but it's just telekinesis so he's actually not as powerful, and then the other is this big giant abstract otherworldly menace that is menacing and has no dramatic weight whatsoever.

Usually for your origin story when starting a totally new franchise, you pick the biggest most well-known villain. The original Superman had Lex Luthor, the Michael Keaton Batman had the Joker. Sinestro shoulda been the villain because for the life of me he was the only Green Lantern villain I had ever heard of. This movie would be like if in X-Men instead of fighting Magneto they were battling Mr. Sinister or whatever the hell...actually that would still be pretty good!? Is Green Lantern just devoid of interesting villains or what?

Another problem with this movie is nothing makes any sense. For example, there are 3600 Green Lanterns to police the entire universe. That's right, they police billions of galaxies, apparently. Each has its own sector that would have to be pretty freaking huge, right? But within the Milky Way galaxy itself there are like, at least four sectors we know of. So either the universe is actually tiny as hell or when they said "universe" they meant "galaxy", which is how I would have written it because for 3600 dudes/dudettes/alien wasps to police an INFINITE OR AT LEAST FREAKING GIGANTIC UNIVERSE makes no sense.

[Bells]

Originally Posted by Magus

, he better bring the Deadpool soon or his best movie to date will be "Blade Trinity"

DING!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1431045/

The movie's script is still in development but will be based around the character of Wade Wilson, a mercenary with terminal cancer who undergoes military experiments in an attempt to replicate Wolverine's mutant healing factor. This results are mixed as Wilson's ability to regenerate wounds is greatly increased (mimicking the abilities of Wolverine) but his mind is fundamentally fractured, leading to his multiple personalities and ability to break the fourth wall of narrative within storytelling. Similarly his skin is ridden with blisters and sores as a bi-product of his massively accelerated healing factor. He eventually leaves the Weapon X program and becomes a mercenary for hire, earning himself the pseudonym; "The Merc with a Mouth".

Note: This is not the actual script of the movie since there isn't one available yet and the producer of the movie, Lauren Shuler Donner mentioning that this deadpool will be very different from the character portrayed in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.