I wuv kitties - Page 3

EVILNess · 10-10-2004, 10:57 PM

To support my Cats=Evil theory I present this totally undoctored proof!

GatoFiero · 10-10-2004, 10:58 PM

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day 184 of My Captivity:
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Day 185 of My Captivity:
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attemptto make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working
according to plan.

Day 186 of My Captivity:
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

Day 187 of My Captivity:
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait...It's only a matter of time.

Lycanthrope · 10-10-2004, 11:01 PM

Gato, you traitor to your own kind!
but it is pretty damn funny. I've seen it before.

GatoFiero · 10-10-2004, 11:03 PM

Hehheh, soon it will not matter what you know.

Onward my brethren, death to the oppressors!

10-11-2004, 06:21 PM

WEEEEEE! I'm helping, Master GatoFiero! *tears out someones eye* WEEEEEE!

Oh, and I have proof cats are not evil. Humans are evil!

Lycanthrope · 10-11-2004, 06:24 PM

That's not helping, that's ripping someone's eye out.

10-11-2004, 06:29 PM

I'm helping with "Death to the oppressors!"

shiney · 10-11-2004, 06:41 PM

And it's spam.

You have been banned before so be very careful because the next ban will be permanent. Three strikes and all remember.

GatoFiero · 10-11-2004, 09:12 PM

Hummm, perhaps I should have said down with the oppressors. We will need slaves after all.

Funka Genocide · 10-11-2004, 10:27 PM

Cats are cool, but I don't think I'll ever own one, or any animal for that matter. Something about having another creatures life in my hands doesn't sit well with me. I guess that leaves kids out of the picture too.

I remember this one time a cat delivered a flying paw attack to the INSIDE of my nose! His aim was uncanny! If the cats start a revolution I'm running for the hills, crazy feline bastards.

10-10-2004, 11:01 PM	#23
Lycanthrope Deus Lupus Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The City of Angels Posts: 2,925	Gato, you traitor to your own kind! but it is pretty damn funny. I've seen it before. __________________ "With these seven easy steps, you, too, can be the authoritarian despot of your own principality. Machiavelli, your road to happiness" "I shoot Flying Monkies!" "Christmas had it coming its what it gets for taking over thanksgiving and threatening halloween with its weapons of mass consumerism" "Death to All Fanatics!" Official RP Action God Lycanthropic Poem "FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE." -Death Krylo and BMG are apparently my bitches.

10-11-2004, 06:21 PM	#25
Thedarknight Guest Posts: n/a	WEEEEEE! I'm helping, Master GatoFiero! tears out someones eye WEEEEEE! Oh, and I have proof cats are not evil. Humans are evil! Attached Images Last edited by Thedarknight; 10-11-2004 at 06:28 PM.

10-11-2004, 06:24 PM	#26
Lycanthrope Deus Lupus Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The City of Angels Posts: 2,925	That's not helping, that's ripping someone's eye out. __________________ "With these seven easy steps, you, too, can be the authoritarian despot of your own principality. Machiavelli, your road to happiness" "I shoot Flying Monkies!" "Christmas had it coming its what it gets for taking over thanksgiving and threatening halloween with its weapons of mass consumerism" "Death to All Fanatics!" Official RP Action God Lycanthropic Poem "FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE." -Death Krylo and BMG are apparently my bitches.

10-11-2004, 06:41 PM	#28
shiney Derrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The land of fartz and buttz Posts: 8,266	And it's spam. You have been banned before so be very careful because the next ban will be permanent. Three strikes and all remember. __________________ boop

10-11-2004, 06:29 PM	#27
Thedarknight Guest Posts: n/a	I'm helping with "Death to the oppressors!"

10-11-2004, 10:27 PM	#30
Funka Genocide Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 4,566	Cats are cool, but I don't think I'll ever own one, or any animal for that matter. Something about having another creatures life in my hands doesn't sit well with me. I guess that leaves kids out of the picture too. I remember this one time a cat delivered a flying paw attack to the INSIDE of my nose! His aim was uncanny! If the cats start a revolution I'm running for the hills, crazy feline bastards.