Finns are so EVIL!

Osterbaum · 05-03-2005, 07:13 AM

This is what I happened to find:

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...hreadid=42100b

Read the thread (it's short, don't worry).

It's all true. We finns are so evil. Almost no-one compares to our evilness. You should know this, for you know me! At days I am Captain FINLAND!!!, but by nights I am Osterbaum... An evil overlord.

But! This thread is not about me! I just thought it was a funny post someone made. Any comments? Something to add? Begging me not to steal more lakes or something?

Thaumaturge · 05-03-2005, 07:45 AM

Heh, it is very funny indeed!

I especially enjoyed the counter-post (post 10 in the linked-to thread)

Quote:

Originally Posted by The responder

Quote:

Originally Posted by the original poster

1- The Winter War. What the hell happened there? When Joe Stalin's T-34's rolled into central Europe the Wehrmacht and Waffen-SS screamed like girls and ran away. However all it took was a few dozen of Santa's little helpers lobbing snowballs and the Russkis bottled out in Finland. What really happened? Is the truth too horrible to reveal.

[text omitted for brevity]

Also, two words - yellow snowballs.

Too horrible to reveal indeed!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Osterbaum

Begging me not to steal more lakes or something?

Actually... *behind his sleeve, so that the authorities won't notice* What's the going rate on a lake? We could use some more fresh water down here...

Dante · 05-03-2005, 10:27 AM

Curse you, Finns! I will never sell out to Nokia (again)! Motorola has my allegiance!

BlackMageGirl! · 05-03-2005, 10:50 AM

Hey, if you're stealing lakes...>.> <.< Can I have one? It'll make a nice addition to my garden...

Dragonsbane · 05-03-2005, 11:37 AM

Osterbaum...it is time I reveal to you a terrible, terrible secret. The first Finn was one of my disciples, a student sent to teach a "chosen people" in the ways of true Evil. Yes, I was alive back then.

You, Osterbaum, are the final result of a project that has spanned many of your "generations". Project FINN. The acronym is in another language, so don't try deciphering it. The language itself belonged to a race of beings who worshipped Azathoth, the Daemon Sultan, the head of the Cthulhoid pantheon. The words are untranslateable, as the depths of evil and madness used in their tongue are unknown to the human race, so we have no real words to describe them.

When those lakes become portals to the dark depths of the Abyss, and gibbering beings of demonic horror pour forth, then it will be time for Finland to rise up and enslave the rest of humanity.

Osterbaum · 05-03-2005, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Actually... *behind his sleeve, so that the authorities won't notice* What's the going rate on a lake? We could use some more fresh water down here...

Oh no. The lakes are all for us. And the Canadians... But mostly for us cause we are even so evil that we would cheat on our partner in crime.

Quote:

Curse you, Finns! I will never sell out to Nokia (again)! Motorola has my allegiance!

You will find that our ways are many. You will have a Nokia in the end. Everyone always does...

Quote:

Hey, if you're stealing lakes...>.> <.< Can I have one? It'll make a nice addition to my garden...

Well I guess I could sell you a pond... But only a really tiny one. And that's just cause you have mind control powers so you could be a good ally.

Quote:

Osterbaum...it is time I reveal to you a terrible, terrible secret. The first Finn was one of my disciples, a student sent to teach a "chosen people" in the ways of true Evil. Yes, I was alive back then.

You, Osterbaum, are the final result of a project that has spanned many of your "generations". Project FINN. The acronym is in another language, so don't try deciphering it. The language itself belonged to a race of beings who worshipped Azathoth, the Daemon Sultan, the head of the Cthulhoid pantheon. The words are untranslateable, as the depths of evil and madness used in their tongue are unknown to the human race, so we have no real words to describe them.

When those lakes become portals to the dark depths of the Abyss, and gibbering beings of demonic horror pour forth, then it will be time for Finland to rise up and enslave the rest of humanity.

So... It was true then what I have heard. The rumors were true...

And I must say that we are proud to be the "chosen people". We will continue this evil till we die!But since we are really so evil, we wont of course sware alliegance to you, but to ourselves and spread our own evil amongst the whole world.

Elmer J. · 05-03-2005, 02:47 PM

Do I have a claim to this evil?
My Father's Mother's Mother's Father was a Finn...
But my Father's Father is a Scot, my Father's Mother's Father was Dutch, my Father's Mother's Mother was Irish and Welsh, and my Mother is Norwegian.
And I was born in upstate New York...
And now live in Central Connecticut...

Damn, I wanted that evil.
I listen to Nightwish, though.
And, soon., this other Finnish band you sent me.

PyrosNine · 05-03-2005, 03:13 PM

Funnily enough I think I'm welsh-mexican. Which means I'm not only pure good, but I'm also lazy about it. Which would explain why I've yet to stop any of the evil one's (Curse you Gates!) plans. Eh, i'll get around to it, eventually.

BlackMageGirl! · 05-03-2005, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Osterbaum

Well I guess I could sell you a pond... But only a really tiny one. And that's just cause you have mind control powers so you could be a good ally.

-_- I do not have mind control powers.

but, a small lake or pond is what I had in mind actually. >.> So, what's your price?

Meister · 05-03-2005, 04:15 PM

As much as it takes for him to fly over with a bucket of water and back.

05-03-2005, 07:13 AM	#1
Osterbaum The revolution will be memed! Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: FIN Posts: 5,967	Finns are so EVIL! This is what I happened to find: http://apolyton.net/forums/showthrea...hreadid=42100b Read the thread (it's short, don't worry). It's all true. We finns are so evil. Almost no-one compares to our evilness. You should know this, for you know me! At days I am Captain FINLAND!!!, but by nights I am Osterbaum... An evil overlord. But! This thread is not about me! I just thought it was a funny post someone made. Any comments? Something to add? Begging me not to steal more lakes or something? __________________ D is for Dirty Commie! Last edited by Osterbaum; 05-03-2005 at 07:16 AM.

05-03-2005, 02:47 PM	#7
Elmer J. Pixie's li'l Brother Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: In Exile! Posts: 342	Do I have a claim to this evil? My Father's Mother's Mother's Father was a Finn... But my Father's Father is a Scot, my Father's Mother's Father was Dutch, my Father's Mother's Mother was Irish and Welsh, and my Mother is Norwegian. And I was born in upstate New York... And now live in Central Connecticut... Damn, I wanted that evil. I listen to Nightwish, though. And, soon., this other Finnish band you sent me. __________________ Rule six: The winner will be the first team that wins.

05-03-2005, 03:13 PM	#8
PyrosNine Zettai Hero Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: A figment of my own imagination Posts: 6,103	Funnily enough I think I'm welsh-mexican. Which means I'm not only pure good, but I'm also lazy about it. Which would explain why I've yet to stop any of the evil one's (Curse you Gates!) plans. Eh, i'll get around to it, eventually. __________________ Pyrosnine.blogspot.com: An experimental blog of writing. Updated possibly daily. Possibly. A fair chance. Current Works for reading: War Between them, Karma Police. PyrosNine: Weirdo Magnet Extraordinaire!

05-03-2005, 10:27 AM	#3
Dante Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Crushing the weak beneath the iron jackboots of tyranny Posts: 7,703	Curse you, Finns! I will never sell out to Nokia (again)! Motorola has my allegiance!

05-03-2005, 10:50 AM	#4
BlackMageGirl! Oh hi! :D Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Currently in reality! Posts: 2,688	Hey, if you're stealing lakes...>.> <.< Can I have one? It'll make a nice addition to my garden...

05-03-2005, 04:15 PM	#10
Meister Pure joy Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Germany Posts: 10,689	As much as it takes for him to fly over with a bucket of water and back.