NPF Avatars: The Champion of Order

[Raiden]

Raiden saw the attacks come toward him. This growing Arhra leapt towards him, intent on draining his energy. IC was chopping the Wind Edge in the direction of his head in some attempt at damage. And Phoenix was slashing in from the side with some strange blade he had never seen her use.

In a swift move his hand went up, grasping the Wind Edge as it struck out. He twisted his body, swinging IC off to the side at high speeds. The bird man kicked out his feet, pressing the bottom of his shoes against Arhra's chest. He pushed off, moving in for a powerful kick to Raiden's face.

When the feet connected, Raiden didn't even blink. He stood there as if nothing had happened.

"Fuck." IC pushed off the face, trying to wrench his Wind Edge free. Instead he was sent flying off to a wall.

He felt Phoenix come towards him, and didn't move. Her blade could do no actual damage to him.

Then he felt pain. The large gash in his side from her sword. He moved quickly off to the side as he looked down. The wound regenned, but the pain was still there.

[Inbred Chocobo]

IC managed to use his tail to adjust his flight towards the wall, so that instead of slamming against it, he hit with his legs first outstretched, then retract against the wall to stop the flight, then he shot out again, rolling on the floor, effectivly stopping the damage.

After the roll he jumped right into a running position, Wind Edge held to the right side with both hands, charging Raiden again. Gotta be careful, seems unarmed attacks are worthless against him. But IC kept his charge up, having a little something different planned.

[Mesden]

It takes time to examine your own wound after stadning still. This is time that Mesia took into her hands preciously.

With a wave of her hand, her sickeningly green blade came to her hand without so much as a glimmer or flash of light. Her other hand grasped at the pommel and then ran up to meet the bottom of her other hand. The green light twisted around the blade, tearing into the world it was in. Jolts of green, decaying energy hit around her. Turning stone into powder, making the air around her stagnant.

Once Phoenix's blade hit, Mesia took the sudden delay of Raiden to attack. With the unearthly speed that was keen to her, she dashed forward in his moment of stunning and dived the god slaying blade deep into the Order Creator's chest.

[Arhra]

Getitng hit right in the chest with an Inbred Chocobo brought a critical drawback of rapid size changes to Arhra's attention. They played havoc with your balance if you weren't used to them. Thus it was Arhra had a face plant.

Thankfully for Arhra, the massive amounts of various energies she had absorbed since reincarnating had considerably fortified her physique. Rather than still being afraid of breezes taking her out, she was damn healthy now. And so the only thing hurt was her pride. A terrible injury, but she'd survive.

Climbing back to her feet, Arhra's sullen expression was transfigured by a burst of pure joy of the kind that usually comes from realising some great truth. She'd just noticed she was now taller than everyone else (giant robots excluded).

"WOOOOOOO!" she cried, "Who's the microscopic shrimp now?!" Spinning around, she flashed a smile at her subjects that was almost blinding in its sheer cuteness. "Good work my underground minion animal thingies!" In response, they cried a redoubled string of accolades that made her shoot up another foot or so on the spot. At this rate, she'd be forced to go into the city destroying monster business not too far into the future.

Her resolve redoubled by this little morale boost, Arhra charged back into the fray. Not wanting to have her second charge stopped, she cast her mind around for the perfect word to shape her chaotic magic into a desirable effect. She had one.

"JUGGERNAUT!"

Magic briefly crackled over her as the spell released. Nothing going to stop her now, Arhra slammed into Raiden just as Mesia stabbed him. Using her greater height to lean over Mesia, her hands clasped aorund Raiden's neck and she felt as his energy was torn from his body to flow into her. With the draining power impeding Raiden and the others also focusing their attacks on the god, Arhra had a good feeling about how things were going. Triumphantly she said, "To think it all comes down to this - my hands... Oh wait, I already said this, didn't I?"

To cover her embarrassment, Arhra tried to kick Raiden in the fork. With that, power draining strangulation, Phoenix and Mesia having landed blows of Chaos/spiritually rotting stabbity goodness and Inbred about to strike too, Raiden certainly might be in for some pain.

[PhoenixFlame]

Despite the massive attacks of the now-unavoidable juggernaut that was Arhra, and the soul-goddess' various arsenal of slightly-better-than-her-own weapons, Phoenix was angry. After all, nothing irritated a Raksha more than being ignored.

"No escape! I'll see you dead!" She threatened Raiden, shifting her left hand to take hold of her weapon's crossbar, and twisting it like a screwdriver within Raiden's insides. Chaos-lightning crackled around the blade, but the renowned group of scientists behind Phoenix could not determine if this actually did any damage, or if it were purely dramatic.*

*According to Dr. Joe Zimmerman, PhD., "I was really just trying to stay alive."

However, Dr. Alfred Von Richtofen, MD., counters, "Zee lack of rezearch relating to a thunder god's anatomy has lead to a great deel of controversy as to if he is damaged by chaostic lightneeng or not. I believe he isz."*

Certainly the statement of a group of respected doctors was something Raiden couldn't ignore! After all, Phoenix had cited sources and everything! It was obvious her attack had done at least *SOME* damage.

"Bah, it's not working! Doctor!" Phoenix yelled, "I need 20 CCs of kickass, stat!"

If it wasn't already apparrent, several innocent bystanders would now realize that yes, Phoenix *was* insane.

[PyrosNine]

"Man this is fun, I can show you all off to all my god enemies!" Pyros laughed as he led the others through a pantheon of the divine. "See? That's Hermaphrodite over there. And you guys thought I was a freak."

The winged god/ess raised it's middle finger. "Castrate yourself with a withering blade, Pyros!"

"I'd say the same for you, dear Hermie. It'd help you in life."

Pyros then briefly read through the discussion thread, and decided he wasn't having enough fun. Sure, he was having fun, but he could be having more. So, he decided the best thing to do would be to bring another for the ride.
Briefly reaching through a suddenly appearing bowl of folded paper, he removed one and called it out.

"I summon...FENRISWOLF!!"

Suddenly, a hole in the cieling opened up....

-------------------------
Wherever the hell Fenris is:
-------------------------

*AoL mail music plays * You've got a hole beneath you!

[Fenris]

The cords that were in Fenris's mind disconnected themselves as Fenris fell into the hole. He opened his eyes wide in shock as he realized what had happened.

Fenris popped out of the hole on the other side with a comical "pop!" and fell to one knee, and lifted himself up.

"Uh, hello, uh... sir, and ma'am-I mean sir-I mean ma'am-I mean... I don't know what I mean..." His voice trailed off while he waited for the two people to reply.

[Truce]

Ecurt coughed. As interesting and mentally scarring it was to meet the other gods, they had to hurry up. However, before he could voice his concern, Pyros pulled Fenriswolf out of a hole.

For a moment, Ecurt stared at Fenris, before smiling evilly. "Hey, you're alive. Good for you. And by you, I mean me. And by me, I mean...you didn't hear that! Why? Because this is secret text, bitch!"

Of course, Ecurt knew that he didn't have time to turn Fenris into another crime against nature right now. They had to move.

Ecurt tapped the fire angel on the shoulder. "Pyros, let's hurry up and finish this tour. We don't want to run into Gaia, do we?"

[PyrosNine]

"As if. Gaia doesn't come to the parties. But fine, I shall hurry up. So my friends, let us be of to see the wizard, the unwonderful creatorwizard of US."

Pyros parted his hands, and almost automatically the crowd of gods parted. Not of course because Pyros had power over them, merely because they didn't want to get flattened. A giant golden staircase fell from the cieling, and gently smothered any who failed to make it out. In this case, Poseidon found his legs still under the staircase when it landed.

"Ow! My legs! Why Pyros, why? Why must you put such barriers between Asheth and I?"[/COLOR]

"Flame CANNNON!"

"OW HOT HOT HOT! You probably prevented her from being here too!"

"No, she didn't come because she doesn't want to be around a wanker like you! COME ON guys!" Pyros hastily grabbed the others and carted them up the stairs, cackling as every step brought Poseidon more pain.

"I'll rise above this yet, and take her for myself, just you wait Pyros!" Poseidon whined from his spot on the floor.

The stairs dissappeared behind them as the trio/Quatrio,(I lost count) entered the upper level. Here the floor was like a milky purple, that flowed out in every direction, the cieling a dark velvet that looked almost like a serene sky. Sparkling in it were giant diamonds that numbered in the millions, each engraved with a name of a god, and their creator. Even some of the false gods, like the giant salamander of an obscure island tribe were shown up there, and the crazed local that thought them up was listed as a creator.

For, as the Ultimatum saw it in his grand scheme, some times the imagination can create grander gods than the ones that actually are, and faith in unreal gods has led people to do things even real gods would have trouble getting them to do. Despite not liking the worship of any gods other than himself, The ultimatum figured if his servants were to be worshipped, they should honor imaginations that were worshipped just as well.

Pyros had always assumed this was a blatant message about how much worship is truly worth or something. The ultimatum was well known for his love of metaphors and irony.

Here, here in this upper floor, was power. Power beyond any other. For this power, was Sight. And with this sight, all things became simple, and in that, they became complex. One of the lesser creators made an effort to explain it to his creations, and his best one so far was "Like Playing Civilization 3, yet already knowing what happens 2 turns next, and not needing that Spock guy."

As they were, they could not comprehend the sheer might and vision of the creators, but they could comprehend that they were on a white square.

JORDEN, I DO BELIEVE YOU ARE CHEATING.

I AM NOT. THEY TELEPORTED THERE OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL.

I MUST INTERJECT, THAT I HAVE THEORIZED THERE IS NO SUCH THING FOR OUR CREATIONS, BUT IT IS MERELY OUR OWN SUBCONCIOUS AND OUR INNER DESIRE FOR AGGRESSION AGAINST OURSELF. THEY DO IT BECAUSE WE WANT THEM TO DO IT, EVEN IF WE DON'T REALIZE IT WHEN WE ARE TAKING VENGEANCE.

SO IF YOU ARE RIGHT, THEN HE IS CHEATING! JUST LIKE LAST GAME!

NO, LAST GAME YOU CHEATED. HAVING A LVL 69 SEDUCTRESS-KNIGHT ATTACK MY LVL94 ELDERMONK KING, THEN HAVE HIM SUDDENLY REGAIN HIS EYESIGHT AND REMEMBER THAT HE WAS STILL A VIRGIN?

UHH....IT WAS ALL PYROS'S FAULT!

OH, DON'T GIVE ME THAT TRIPE! WE ALL KNOW THAT BAG OF LIES IS ALL THE HIGH....

Pyros scratched his head. "Wha?"

YOU ARE TOO LOOSE LIPPED, YOU KNOW THAT. PYROS, YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE TO SEE YOUR CREATOR, RIGHT? WELL, MOVE ALONG THEN. AND HERE, HAVE A LOLLIPOP FROM UNCLE AURAL TO FORGET YOU HEARD ANYTHING JUST NOW.

"Yay! You're the bestest Uncle Aural!" Pyros went kawaii as he licked a oversized lollipop, and the group was instantenously moved to another area, where a large rocking chair sat. Of course, this was no ordinary rocking chair. And large, large was an understatement. It was big enough to sit all the old people in the world for the last ten years and their faithful lap pets.

Of course, it needed to be big. For sitting in it, reading a theory of existence and an amalgamation of all the newspapers in the entire planet, was the Grand High Creator.

His awareness suddenly centered on the group, and they all suddenly felt as if there was an invisible weight on their shoulders that threatened to crush them. Even the High Creator's vision was weighty!

PYROS, WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE? DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BROTHER? AND WHY ARE THEY HERE?

[Truce]

There were times in his life when Ecurt was utterly and completely speechless. Now, when he had been faced with beings more powerful than his own boss (and legal guardian in some third world countries after the little bastard tried to sell him into child sexual slavery just so he could appear on Oprah; Ecurt didn't care if she gave away free gifts after the show!) who were just as crazy or more so than Pyros, was one of them. Only after spending a minute or two in silence did he remember where he was and what he had come for.

"We're here because one of your boys has gone beserk again and is trying to destroy the very fabric of realities. This normally wouldn't be such a big problem if, you know, if he was any other god. After all, gods can be defeated, gods can fall, and, as difficult as it may be sometimes, they can be killed. However, there's a bit of a problem this time.

"Raiden's been a bad boy," he said calmly. "Don't you think he needs a time out?"