NPF Avatars 5 - Another Version Of The Truth

[Arhra]

Arhra Two had been sulking slightly after Five had stolen the possibility for giant robot pilotage, cheered up only slightly by the effectiveness of her use of the Heart. Then she saw Flare turn traitor, the slime-girl then defeated and splattered messily upon the ground.

Two knew what her sad duty was now. It would be the second time today she'd needed to perform this solemn task.

"GRAVE DIGGING PRANA!" she shouted, shovel in hand once more.

Just to be on the safe side, she whacked the globs of Flare-slime with her shovel, grinding them into the dirt and then scattering them into a swiftly dug open grave intermixed with a lot of regular dirt. Piling rubble on top of that, she covered the now filled hole over with a nice smooth mound of earth and heaved a roughly rectangle lump of stone into place for a grave marker.

She folded her arms and looked at what she had accomplished. It was good.

Arhra Five flipped and spun through the sparkly backgrounded robot summoing sequence. From the blue sky (despite the fact the sky was currently nothing like that) it jetted down.

It was of vaguely birdlike appearance, streamlined, with an angular head and talong-like hands and feet. It had two large jet structures on its back, able to be angled like stubby wings. Overall, it kept more of a classic bulkier fighting robot than the extremely streamlined and agile look that had become more popular in recent years. It could probably perform the dreaded rocket punch.

Suddenly, Arhra was in the cockpit, with no discernable transition. She didn't quite cackle maniacally, but given her recently acquired power of technological assimilation and all the chances she'd been getting to use it, she was feeling spoiled for choice. With this delectable new toy, she began reforming her integration structures.

Arhra One was feeling jealous of the NPFers and herself. She needed a kickass ride too. Her eyes alighted on Arhra Four, who was running out of Gaians to kill, as hard as that might seem.

She eyed the dragoness speculatively. The mecha were definately larger and Arhra had ridden bigger dragons in the past, but there was undeniably an appeal to the look of the thing.

Four agreed. Seconds later, Arhra was riding Arhra into the fray. They came up just as Five exited the summoning sequence. Arhra One considered the options, making an analysis of the Rei sailor scouts by hair colour.

"Let's see. Brown and black are generally normal, grounded types, blue's the smart, introverted one.. and AH-HA! blondes are the ditzes! Gank that one! Gank her now!"

Rei Aphrodite suddenly had Arhra, Arhra piloting a gigantic robot and an Arhra who was a giant, angry dragon bearing down on her.

[Bailey]

Meanwhile, the rope holding up Amalgam snapped, largely due to the wild arm motions of the transformation sequence that Mauve was going through around now.

This meant that he was now plummeting towards the ground.

Fortunately, Arhra had just erected a mud pit to catch him. Unfortunately, she then put a large piece of stone there. Fortunately again, Amalgam was unkillable. Unfortunately again, this did not mean undentable.

In readjusting his outer chassis and fixing his front hatch, Amalgam, unbeknownst to himself, dropped a feather out of his storage bay onto the stone structure.

This was no ordinary feather, either.

This was the rare and wondrous brand of feather known to not very many people at all as a "phonics feather".

The feather, as soon as it contacted the stone structure, glowed a brilliant icy fiery color, then vanished underground.

[POS Industries]

"You stupid birdbrain!" the raven-haired Rei Ares shrieked angrily at IC's zord as his bullets impacted on her energy shield, "Think you can take me down so easy? Think again! Ares Incendiary Arrow!

Ares moved backward out of the line of fire and refocused power from her shield into what appeared to be a bow and arrow before her, the energy appearing to combust in bright blue flames around it as she drew back and fired shot after shot at the mech above her.

Elsewhere, Rei Aphrodite had taken up position on the ever-disintegrating ground in Rhiya's hamsterball zord's path. The spiky ball of Wrath bearing down on her, the android senshi brushed away some of her long blonde hair from her eyes, shot a quick wink and blew a kiss toward her intended target before focusing energy into a bizarre chain-shaped attack, golden glowing links held out from her right hand, spinning above her head and growing in length.

"Aphrodite Love Lasso!"

Whipping the chain forward, it quickly wrapped around the diameter of Rhiya's zord and grabbed hold, allowing Rei Aphrodite to summon her full strength and drag the ball forward and into the air under its own momentum.

"Romance is a dangerous game, and sometimes you attract the wrong types of people," she giggled, swinging the ball and chain around her before colliding it with the rapidly approaching Arhra-Zord, "So it's always wise for a girl to keep some mace handy!"

During TBM's monologue, Rei Hermes had taken the time to bring down a blue visor in front of her eyes which displayed data for her as she scanned the Kyuubi Zord, which was rather superfluous given the fact that she herself was a walking-talking computer and could just access all the information internally a lot faster, but this method was obviously just a bit more dramatic.

"Hm, heavy armor, more-than-suitable weapon armament, body design and engine output suggest high speed and maneuverability.... Chance of survival in a head-to-head encounter are 32.0947501% unless--"

At that moment, TBM's zord blasted off at high speed, its pilot screaming through the public address system he had failed to deactivate before accidentally engaging the mecha's turbo system.

"--unless the pilot is completely blind," Rei Hermes sighed before suddenly having an idea, "Wait, if I could find an access port on its design, maybe for some sort of zord-combination system and.... Yes! That should do it!"

Taking off running, the blue-clad android girl engaged her internal artificial gravity generator, putting it in reverse and lightening her weight while forming her energy shield into a more aerodynamic shape and taking off into the air at full speed, intercepting the Kyuubi Zord and just barely managing to come down on its back.

Holding on for dear life, she lifted up a panel near it's left hind legs and plugged a cable from her visor into it, uplinking into the zord's central computer and attempting to take control of the machine.

01001001001000000100000101001101001000000100100001 00000101000011010010110100100101001110010001110010 00000100100101001110010101000100111100100000010110 01010011110101010101010010001000000101001101011001 01010011010101000100010101001101001011000010000001 00101001000101010100100100101100100001010010010010 00000100000101001101001000000100100001000001010000 11010010110100100101001110010001110010000001001001 01001110010101000100111100100000010110010100111101 01010101010010001000000101001101011001010100110101 01000100010101001101001011000010000001001010010001 01010100100100101100100001010010010010000001000001 01001101001000000100100001000001010000110100101101 00100101001110010001110010000001001001010011100101 01000100111100100000010110010100111101010101010100 10001000000101001101011001010100110101010001000101 01001101001011000010000001001010010001010101001001 00101100100001 - DING!

"Got it!" Hermes cheered triumphantly as she commanded the Kyuubi Zord to a halt. The mech, moving instantaneously to her thoughts, set course toward Flare's position, where the slimegirl was doing her best to fend off the combined assault of a number of NPFers,
"Hey, need a hand over there?"

Rei Zeus was in a bit of a predicament of her own. Wizzle's suping-up of his zord had created quite the adversary, and there wasn't much room for error as the vulcan cannon blasts collided with her energy shield.

"Well, you certainly won't be getting any fresh-baked cookies from me! Zeus Sparkling Thunderbolt!" she growled, ducking past the cannon shots to drop her shield and redirect the energy into arcs or lighting that impacted on the slower orbs, detonating them as she soared fists-first at the robot, colliding with it and putting a large dent in its hull before unleashing a flurry of punches and kicks. "All I want is to settle down with a nice husband and raise a family like any young girl, and I WON'T LET YOU GET IN MY WAY!"

Oh, and how as Rei Classic doing, you ask? Well, Ono's song attack was quite powerful, indeed. The android's sonic processors were having a more-than-difficult time handling the destructive soundwaves, and Rei could only grit her teeth in agony.

"No no no no no...." she sighed, charging up energy around her, "This ain't no walk in the park. No no no no, this ain't no slap in the face. No no no no, this ain't no fuck in the ass.... No no no no....

"THIS AIN'T NO PLANET OF NO APES!!"

Suddenly rocketing forward, Rei punched the Japanese-English Emo-World-Peas-Bot: Hell straight in the face, causing the stunned zord to lurch backward backward.

"Oh baby yeah yeah yeah yeah..." the android grinned before firing off her next attack before Pyros' crew could react, "DOOM CANNON!!"

[Bailey]

TEN O'Clock had a dilemma. For one thing, he didn't know if he was AM or PM. This could cause some problems down the road. For another thing, he wasn't quite sure what ANY of the three-thousand four-hundred twenty-seven buttons in front of him did.

"THIS AIN'T NO PLANET OF NO APES!!"

Oh, what the hell. TEN O'Clock just slammed his hand down at random, hitting five or six buttons.

Suddenly, he charged forwards, did a pirouette, leapt into the air, landed tippytoes on Rei Classic's head with the gravitic suppressors on so that Rei barely felt a thing, sprang upwards in a shower of ducks, and then flipped over through the air to land behind Rei and slapping one half of a pair of handcuffs on Rei's doom cannon.

All of this was much more impressive when one took into account the fact that centaurpedes have six legs.

TEN O'Clock was a bit worried about looking.

He looked.

Rei seemed now to be handcuffed to a giant, metallic, rubber chicken. Besides making no damn sense, this may throw off her aim some.

[Inbred Chocobo]

The screen suddenly indicated the attacks, giving IC ample time to avoid the shots. At one point, IC could have sworn someone shouted on the radio "DO A BARREL ROLL!" but then again IC remembered he ripped off the speaker for the voice of the computer.

The Zord itself was angling just enough to dodge the attacks as it came at Rei Ares, still opening fire with the guns. However due to dodging issues, not a lot were going towards their target. After sweeping over the target, IC yanked hard back, and slammed on the pedals on the ground. He also yanked the throttle on the side back, cutting it completely off for a second. This caused the zord to flip almost with almost no height change. It was obvious mini-thrusters located elsewhere on the zord allowed for strange maneuvers like so.

IC pushed the throttle full speed, sending the zord straight at Rei Ares. Then he hit a few buttons on the console. The zord suddenly opened up a couple dozen different slots, and shot a barrage of missiles at her.

[Wizardcat]

"Well, you certainly won't be getting any fresh-baked cookies from me! Zeus Sparkling Thunderbolt!"

How did she activate a special attack without any rings? Oh, right, the AI cheat in these boss battles.

While the electricity did indeed cause the homing energy orbs to explode harmlessly, it did even more. You see, Wizzle's Tiger-Zord was designed based on the cat mage's abilities and preferences. As a mage, it seemed that the machine also came equipped with some magic-related abiltiies. Quite simply, it just absorbed some of all elemental energy used in the vicinity! Suspecting that a Rei called Zeus might have electrical abilties, it seems he had selected his target deliberately.

This caused its systems to power up even farther from the newfound energy and was channeled into the shields. Wizzle cackled as Rei Zeus approached, at least, before feeling the impact of her attack that made the health guage drop to about 51-80%, as it was now cyan in color. It seemed that he had forgotten to raise the shields.

"Ouch!" Despite the fact that it was the robot that had taken the damage and the dent, it seemed that the spellcaster had felt the pain, too. Inside, Plushie Hikari flew into a wall with a loud squeak. Outside, rings scattered as the Zord began its five-second period of invulnerablity after being attacked. The robot recovered quickly and the shields were mentally activated.

"Feline Fist!" yelled the feline as the mecha whipped back a fist and brought it in an lightning-fast attempt to connect with the green Rei, oddly reminiscent of Tails's Propeller Punch that caused the oppponent to be sent to the opposite side of the arena from the sheer force. At the same time, he aimed the volcan cannon towards a pair of red balloons hanging in the air and fired, hoping to get enough rings to pull off a special attack.

[TheBlindMime]

TBM frantically hit all the controls as the kyuubot came to a sudden halt, TBM Plushie issued a double thumb down in his disapproval of the sudden and anti-climatic halt. "Why did you stop?"

"I didn't..." TBM replied, though not quite sure what had happened. Then the kyuubot began its move once again without his permission. Searching out the cause blindly TBM 'spotted' Rei Hermes on his back guiding them towards Flare. "You're making me help flare?! When she's being such a dummkopf! That dog won't hunt, Mon Signieur."

"What are we going to do?" The plushie asked with more then one crack in his already squeeky voice.

"We're not giving up, Plushie." TBM said a bit too muce confidence.

"Then lets not get caught."

"What are you talking about?"

"Go." The plushie replied indicating a yet to be used control.

"Go?" TBM replied eyeing the Self-Destruct with suspicion.

"Go. You're a good friend."

"You too, the best. But are you sure?" TBM asked holding out his hand to his new best friend.

"Hit it!" The plushie responded as he grasped the hand that dwarfed his own. TBM slammed his fist through the thin plastic that covered the button, initiating the self-destruct. Rei Hermes would have stopped it with a except whim -like all good self-destructs- this one wasn't built into the computer system.

The explosion was immediate and devastating, it would have been one hell of a show too. But for some reason it seemed as if the whole world faded to black. Somewhere in the distance, B.B. King's "Better Not Look Down" plays, its quite upbeat.

All that remained of Kyuubot after that was a big pile of burning wreckage and a photo -of the pair smiling without a care in the world- blowing in the wind.

[Arhra]

"I had no idea she was into that kind of thing!" Arhra One said, seeing Rei Aphrodite use a magical chain to entangle Rhiy... Wrath.

"Kinky." Arhra Four agreed.

Of course, faced with deadly friendly fire about to take place between Five's giant robot and the great ball of Wrath, they had to take action.

Arhra whipping her tail around to solidly thwack Wrath's hamster-ball-of-doom, the two had a moment of eye contact and a silent communication passed between them. An idea burst simultaneously into their brains like an star going nova, obliterating all puny planets foolish enough to be nearby.

Four had some finesse over her shape and she used it now, thinning and lengthening her tail into something very flexible and whipping, it coiled up, tip sliding along the hamsterball between the spikes.

"Safe word!" Arhra One yelled, lashing out with magic to slice through Rei's magical chain.

At the same time, some portion of the hamsterball opened, locking on to Arhra's tail. The dragoness swung around with the captured momentum, spiky ball plowing through some until now untouched buildings, energy sleeted between them, Arhra also suddenly looking a lot spikier.

The super-human combination was formed!

"Zen Orb Of Combined Fury Times TEN!"

"Zen? Why Zen?" One piped in.

"Why NOT?"

"Good point." One said, deciding to contribute to the mess. "FLAMING DEATH!" Herself, the dragon-Arhra she was riding and the hamster-ball suddenly burst into chaotic flames.

Rei Aphrodite found herself beset by a spiky, whirling dragon with a blade covered death-ball containing an angry goddess attached to its tail and swinging wildly as something half flail, half wrecking ball. On fire.

It was an arrangement as impractical as it was deadly.

Arhra Five had evolved a cunning strategem of her own. Jetting forwards, her giant robot thrust out a hand, aiming to grab Rei Aphrodite if she dodged. It was both cunning and inventive.

* * *

"All I want is to settle down with a nice husband and raise a family like any young girl, and I WON'T LET YOU GET IN MY WAY!" Wizzle fended off Rei Zeus' onslaught, countering with a fearsome, cat-themed attack.

In the aftermath, a rose was hurled from the heavens, stem piercing into the ground and leaving it standing slanting at an angle.

"Rei Zeus! This is the hour of destiny!"

Arhra Two stood up high, a dark cloak flapping about her. It was questionable where she had acquired it from. A good guess was it was the same place the top hat she was wearing had come from. She leapt down, pastel colours, sparkles and cherry blossoms flying in her wake.

"WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"

Hopefully Rei Zeus took after a pair who coincidentally may have had something to do with blue gas giants.

[mauve]

(I figure Ecurt deserves his stupid robot now. Pyros and I had been wondering what to give him, so here's kind of a conglomeration of our ideas.)

Ecurt raised a hand to the heavens.

"Zord! To me!"

A great metallic shape fizzled into existence to the plushie-master's left.

"Awww, YES!" Ecurt cheered as the giant dark figure materialized before his eyes. "It's a.... um.... wait..." He frowned. "The hell?"

As the figure became more solid, its true form became evident. It was shaped somewhat like a giant S with beefy arms and legs. Its skin was fixed with metal scales and some odd spikes along what Ecurt assumed was its spine. It's reptilian mouth was open slightly, and a forked tongue was visible.

"You've got to be kidding me." Ecurt had been given the amazing TROGBOT!!! *guitar solo goes here*

"But why does it have a top hat?" he asked, looking at the strange metal object sitting on top of the Robo-Trogdor's head. "Why does he need a top hat to rain down burnination upon the countryside?"

"Because it looks cool?" Mauve suggested from within the MauveBot.

Ecurt sighed.

"Whatever," he said. "Let's just get this show on the road." He leapt into the air dramatically, as everyone else had done. Rather than entering the TrogBot, however, a hatch opened in the top hat revealing a control room.


"Okay!" he said. "Let the robot war begin! Ecurt and the amazing TrogBot 9000 are ready for some burnination!"

He pounded a fist on the button labeled DESTROY STUFF. An error message popped up on the giant screen before him.

"Oh, COME ON!! What the hell?! Can't I get a stupid attack scene!?" he fumed.

CRITICAL ERROR. DESTRUCTIONING COMMAND NOT FUNCTIONARY. the screen informed him.

"What?! What's wrong?"

RUNNING AUTO-DIAGNOSIS TOOL. PLEASE WAIT.... Perky elevator music began to play. Ecurt sighed and leaned back in his chair.

PROBLEM LOCATED. A door opened in one wall of the top hat and a crumpled envelope was forcefully ejected from between some important looking gears, hitting Ecurt in the face.

The envelope was labeled with his name. Dreading this, Ecurt opened the letter.

Ecurt! Guy Who No Longer Works For Me! Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I took some kind of doohickey out of your Zord and used it to fix my iPod. THE IPOD DEMANDED IT!! Dunno what it was for, but now my iPod shoots lasers every time I play Queen songs! It's AWESOME!! Oh and I think this means your zord is gonna explode. KTHNXBAI! ~PyrosNine

"Y'know, somehow I'm not surprised," Ecurt said, a mere second before the entire TrogBot burst into flames and collapsed in on itself.
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Meanwhile... Back in the MauveBot.....

Mauve had decided to let her presence be known to Rei Ares. As ChocoZord launched missiles from above, MauveBot shot another beam of white-hot energy from its palm.

Mauve pounded away at the control board, and MauveBot reached for her belt. Whereas the real Mauve had knives, MauveBot apparently had short beam swords. Why? Because it's cooler that way.

MauveBot rushed forwards, twin blades in hand, to slash at the black-haired Rei double.


Laser blasts impacted in the ground around Rei Ares' feet and a dark shadow passed over them. MauveBot spared a look upwards.

"The heck?"


A giant metal top hat, slightly fire-scorched, zipped through the air like a UFO. It was all that remained of the TrogBot, but it seemed functional enough.


"I'm getting my battle scenes in whether you guys like it or not!" Ecurt fumed over the communication link.

[Nikose Tyris]

"Alright, guys and girlies! Let's form up a Megazord!" Nikose said, feeling his words become resonance through Nenyel, and knowing that the shards would pick it up and echo it back.

Yeah, Nenyel and the shards can do anything.

Nikose activated his Zords powers, and it shifted into a Boxy Dragon Cube, covered in Spikes and Hook-ups for Legs, Arms, Head, and possibly wings.