PREVIOUSLY ON BLACK DYNAMITE

[Magus]

In a stunning debut, it's Black Dynamite v. Michael Jackson! Who will reign supreme over the hearts and minds of the community?

If you enjoyed the film Black Dynamite, this is a pretty great follow-up. It maintains the blaxploitation parody the original film while telling its own unique story built on pop humor and its own created universe. Frankly, it's pretty great.

This week's episode begins with an influx of unwanted ninjas into the neighborhood, wreaking havoc on the community. Black Dynamite realizes this is all yet another nefarious plot of the fiendish Dr. Wu, and heads with his crew to detonate ninja headquarters with, what else, dynamite, and put a stop to their infamy once and for all. He, Bullhorn, and Honey Bee rig the charges, set them off, and hightail it to the vehicle--but what is this? Their getaway driver Cream Corn is nowhere to be found! In the ensuing battle with a bunch of pissed-off ninjas, Black Dynamite spies Cream Corn on a nearby TV screen. He's skipped out on them to appear on Soul Train!

It turns out the Jackson Five are the musical number on tonight's episode of Soul Train. "Man, if I'd known Michael Jackson was going to be on Soul Train I might have skipped out on you too, Black Dynamite!" interjects Honey Bee. As the lights come up, we see that the Jackson Five are variously bandaged and beaten and bruised, except for young Michael. One of them screws up the act, and Joe Jackson standing in the audience facepalms in despair. But Michael saves the day with his signature dance moves.

Cut to their dressing room, and the other Jacksons are all being mercilessly beaten by their father, Joe Jack--wait a second! Michael is slapping the shit out of them, including Joe! I about lost it. Michael tells Joe that one of them has to die and tries to get Joe to do it. "No, Michael! Please!" Michael has no patience. "It's the only way these motherfuckers are going to learn. Somebody's got to die!" but Joe finally snaps and pulls out a gun. "No! This music has been going on long enough! The magic and the madness ends right now!" Joe levels the gun at Michael's head. "And to think, Michael Jackson, I treated you like you was my own son!"

Cream Corn finds his way to backstage, looking to meet young Michael and the rest of the Jackson Five. He sees the other Jacksons running away and rushes in just in time to catch the bullet in his buttocks, sparing Michael Jackson's life.

Michael Jackson visits Cream Corn in the hospital and begins to warp his mind, and set in motion his evil plan. Can Black Dynamite stop this child of the damned before all is lost? Tune in to find out!