Recommend Snake an Anime

[Solid Snake]

Now that I have an extensive amount of free time on my hands for at least the next couple months, I figure it's as good a time as any to see if there's a great Anime out there I can invest in that isn't Mawaru Penguindrum or Steins;Gate.

Here are the guidelines:

1: All other things being equal, I prefer Subs over Dubs.
2: I'm looking for something comedic and upbeat. I'm not really in the mood for anything too tragic or serious.
3: ...That being said, I really don't want (and I forget the Japanese word for this) one of those 'Boys' Animes' that follow all those standard tropes about young men battling and maturing and that go on forever and ever. In fact...
4: I'd prefer an Anime that's actually finished, rather than investing in something that's still ongoing.
5: I'd prefer to avoid giant robots if at all possible.
6: I'd also prefer to avoid the classic tsundere 'will she or won't she?' bullshit romantic tension. Like, there's gotta be an Anime out there with an actual kind-of-sort-of-realistic portrayal of what relationships actually look like.
7: While I understand there's no such thing as a 'perfectly' socially progressive Anime, I'd really prefer if at all possible to avoid any Anime with really glaring social justice issues; like, let's avoid for the sake of my heart pressure any Anime with an egregious stereotype of a gay guy or a racial minority.

I look forward to hearing your sales pitches.