Cattle Rancher RP!

[Crodevillian Team]

"Cockadoodledoo!" said the rooster.

"Well, boys, that was the wake-up call!" said Boss as he walked up and down the rows of sleeping cattle ranch hands. "Rise and shine, fellas, because there's a lot of work to do!"

"Lands of Moses, Boss! It's hotter than the burning sands of the mystic Gobe desert, and it's only morning!" complained Little Joe, the Boss's nephew.

"I know, Joe, but times are tough. This depression means we've got to buck up and get the job done, even in the face of adversity. Adversity like hot weather, which I suspect is a byproduct of carbon emissions diminishing Earth's natural protective barrier. But, if there is one upside, Jolly Ol' Pete's taken two notches off his belt!"

Jolly Ol' Pete stood up and offered a wicked grin, hooking his thumbs through the belt loops and pulling forward to show the weight he'd lost. The ranch hands all guffawed loudly.

"Well," said Boss, "it's time to get movin'." Boss put on his cattle ranching gloves, flipped on his ten-gallon hat and prepared for a hard day of labor. He was careful not to forget his can of baked beans, as all ranchers love baked beans. "Hyaa! Wchaw!" shouted Boss, pulling a riding crop from the wall and urging the ranch hands forward. "All right, boys! It's time to shine!"

"Aiooo! Whaoo!" shouted the ranch hands, some spinning ropes above their heads, as cowboys are wont to do. "Boy howdy," said Little Joe, "I sure am excited about cattle ranchin' now!"

"You said it, hoss," said Hoss.

The sun beat down hard on their leather clad backs as they clamored out of their sleeping quarters and into the fields. The cows grazed lazily on grass, as cows are wont to do. Boss hopped on a horse, its luxurious golden mane flowing behind as it trotted over to a cow.

"Whoa! Whoooaa!" said Boss, unexcitedly. "I am unexcited about today, but I can't let the ranch hands know." He looked at the cow to make sure it was properly branded, but it wasn't. "Boys, come over here!" shouted Boss enthusiastically. "We have a cow to brand!"

"Aiooo! Whaoo!" shouted the hands, some riding in circles on their horses. But they came over to Boss shortly, and Little Joe brought a heated iron in the shape of the ranch's insignia. "I'm ready to brand that sucker!" said Little Joe with gusto.

"All right, so am I!" said Boss and Hoss at the same time, and they exchanged knowing glances and flushed. Little Joe chuckled nervously. "Okay!" said Little Joe, and then branded the cow.

"Well, I'm glad that's done with. Now let's move on," said Boss, and they moved on to other cows. It turns out that there were two other unbranded cows.

Suddenly, the ground began to tremor. "Oh, no! It's an earthquake!" shouted Shakey Sal as he ducked for cover, but the others laughed.

"Don't worry, Sal! That's not an earthquake! That's just Jolly Ol' Pete!" said Boss, and sure enough, it was; each step Jolly Ol' Pete took, the earth shook.

"Breakfast is served, fellas!" said Jolly Ol' Pete. The ranch hands whooped and hollered and turned back to the mess area.

[Welcome to the wild, awesome world of cattle ranching. Please continue the story.]