05-01-2006, 05:10 PM | #11 |
Pikachu wants a hug. With teeth.
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Chapter 2: ...Demons in the Night
"Are we there yet?" asked Fighter, his armor making soft clang noises as he walked. "Thank the Gods of Evil AND Good yes," BM said with an exhale as they approached the city boarders of Gillmany. In front of them, Red Mage and Thief were having a small disagreement. "I'm telling you, there are probably a dozen side quests in this one town. Sleepy little towns exist purely as side quest fodder. Or maybe one HUGE quest that takes in the entire town at once!" said Red Mage, his eyes ablaze with ideas of the amount of experience they'd get, "You can't just go destroying it NOW!" "Watch me," said Thief, his face not even moving besides the occasional blink not even his elven superiority could prevent forever. Still, besides those two words, he barely seemed to acknowledge Red Mage's entire existence. "Come on. At least wait one day. You can destroy these people's homes tomorrow and we'll be loaded with exp AND gill. What do you say?" Thief finally stopped and turned to Red Mage. Behind him, Fighter came to a screeching halt, almost bumping into the ninja. BM wasn't so lucky (he was looking at a bird on a branch and wondering what was better; fried by lightning or fried by fire), and ran right into the heavily armored and surprisingly sturdy warrior. He fell on his magical tush with an "Omph!" "Ok, fine. Come morning, this place is gone. You have until then. Besides, that will give me time to get the Law Ninja's assembled." "You know," said BM as he got up, "If Feather Head here hadn't made me waist my Hadoken blowing up the Werewolf leader, I could have leveled this entire place by now." "Hey! It was a good plan!" retorted Red Mage, "If you had just been a little more stealthy, we would have been fine." "Bullshit!" yelled BM, "Stealth and shadow don't do crap against sent, you Freak Hatted Doof!" "Freak Hatted wha...Ok, that's it!" RM yelled back before his hand went to his sword hilt. BM, in response, struck a pose that had Thunder Bolt written all over it. "Enough!" screamed Thief, his superior elven lungs making his shouts the loudest of all, "You can kill each other later. Right now, we have work to do." "Yea!" said Fighter, trying to change the subject so his friends wouldn't hurt each other, "I need to get my sword-chucks fixed at the armorer. All that slaying and bleeding made Stab-n-Slash a little dull." To illustrate the point, Fighter withdrew Staby and Slashy as a single sword-chuck, which he called Stab-n-Slash, which was coated in blood. Indeed, the edges were quite dull. "Stick with me, Fighter," said RM as he put his arm around the big lug’s shoulder, "I've got an idea that'll allow you to get your sword-chucks fixed for the price of one sword. And at a discount too!" "You idiots do that," said Thief, "I'm going to do some...charity work." Thief turned his back on his fellow Light Warriors and whispered, "And it'll all go to the Make-Thief-Richer fund. Hehe." BM, who had heard Thief, just shook his head. "Ok, then I'm going to go to the magic shop. Maybe this rathole has some kind of-" "There's no magic shop here, BM," said Fighter, mater-of-factly. "How would you know?" BM said, looking him in the eye, "I'm surprised you know HOW to look." "Oh, I checked the town map in the square," said Fighter, "I checked it up and down for a magic place because I know you like them so much, and I didn't find a single one on it. Sorry. You could always come with me and Red Mage!" he said with a little bounce of happy. "You're not as sorry as you're going to be if you suggest that again," said Black Mage, a growl in his voice. "Let's just meet up at the inn then," said Thief. "Does this little rathole of a town even HAVE an inn?" asked BM, crossing his arms in extreme annoyance at the entire situation. "Oh yea," piped up Fighter, "It's on the west side on 8 ½ street, right next to the Pawn Shop." "Hmm. Convenience," mused Thief, "Fine, we meet at the inn at sundown. Any objections?" No one said anything or moved much, except Fighter, who was picking his nose. Blech. "Fine. Meet you then." And with that, Thief dashed through the city gates and disappeared.
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I sometimes wonder why people even try to make things that few ever really see funny. I could say anything I want here, and only half the people who see my posts at all would ever know. I could write "Dingle Blatter Potato-chucks" and question fifthfiend's sexuality all in one sentence, and noone would ever care. |
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