Like, 60 guys walk into a bar (freestyle comedy ensues)

[Preturbed]

Originally Posted by Pure Liquid Awesome

The white guy says, "Well, I'll have a Coke."

Boondock Saints

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Mike and Sue were a great couple and happily engaged. Unfortunately, on their way to the wedding, they get into a head-on collision with a Mac truck. Both die on impact, and they soon find themselves in heaven.

Mike and Sue can't help but feel a little jipped, so one day Mike goes up to the Angel Gabriel and asks, "Gabe, Sue and I were about to get married, but on our wedding day you called us both home. Do you think that maybe we can get married up here in Heaven?"

Gabriel replies, "I'll see what I can do."

Several weeks pass, and the couple begins to grow anxious. Exactly one month after Mike's request, the Angel Gabriel returns to them with a priest. Needless to say, Mike and Sue get married that very day.

For many years, they are the happiest couple in heaven. However, all good things must come to an end and, sure enough, they find their marriage in a state of disrepair.

Once again, Mike approaches the Angel Gabriel and asks, "Gabe, I'm not happy in my marriage anymore. Do you think that maybe we can get divorced, up here in Heaven?"

Gabriel replies, "I'll see what I can do."

Several weeks pass, and the couple once again begins to grow anxious. Weeks turn to months, and as is likely to happen most times, months turned into years.

A frustrated Mike approaches the Angel Gabriel once again. "Gabe," he says, "If you recall, several years ago I asked if you could find a way for me to get a divorce. I haven't heard back from you, and my wife and I are still on the outs. What gives?"

The Angel Gabriel smiled, and replied, "Mike, it took me four damn weeks to find a priest up here. How long do you think its gonna take to find a lawyer?"