Fucking Awesome DnD Moments/Campaigns

[EVILNess]

Guys, that character I told you about that took over several countries, yeah he died last weekend.

First off a crude map to frame the events:



My home base city is built on a man-made plateau framed by heavy forest and a man-made lake on two sides, the third side has 100-200 ft cliffs that are regularly patrolled. Two canyons serve as the entrances to my city. Each canyon has a keep manned by about 3000 infantry. The southern keep was defeated before an alarm could be raised. The red signifys their army, the grey mine. troop guesstimates at several points are also present.

So apparently it was those adventurers who swore to kill me who masterminded the whole thing. They built a ragtag army coalition and managed to best my generals (The DM was kinda playing them for me, he is a great tactician, the players were just better than him.) through superior tactics. When he realized that we were getting creamed he magically contacted me (texted my cell) me and I teleported to the city and stepped in as commander (IM Client) and using what troops I had left (We went from a advantage to roughly even.) I started to turn the battle around, gaining an advantage and pushing them to the northern canyon.

Since we pushed them back hard and they did what I assumed what they would do, they tried retreating into the canyon to escape. I had previously alerted the northern outpost and now had them pinned between two armies.

At this point my character is sitting pretty in his tower keep directing the battle via a magic telescope, message spells, and carrier hawks. So imagine my surprise as I am winning, sitting pretty in my fortress and I take a sip of wine and die.

Apparently, the whole war was a fucking ploy to get me to actually come to my keep so the rogue/illusionist, who had snuck in and replaced herself with one of my servants, weeks ago I might add, had spiked my wine with fucking IOCANE POWDER, and they had eluded ALL OF MY SPYING TO DO THIS.

Yeah, it seems kinda cheap now, but all I could think at the time was "Fucking brilliant." They had basically wasted thousands of lives to get me to come to them so they could kill me, not in an epic heroic fashion, but in a cowardly and underhanded way. These guys really hated me. The party leader, a paladin game up his paladin-hood to enact this plan so I could die. The Fighter knowingly led thousands to die to distract me. The Cleric, a dedicated healer, went against her religion of pacifism to make the poison to kill me. The rogue/illusionist broke a promise to never use her illusions to take a life. My actions shifted the alignment of an entire fucking group of players.

Wow, just. Wow.

Luckily, DnD is a game were death is only a minor setback for a powerful character such as me.

There are probably more details, but I honestly am not privy to all of them yet. I will be this weekend though.