04-20-2010, 02:32 PM | #12 |
Goomba
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4
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Black Mage - Frustrated with life, Black Mage kills himself so he can once again try and rule Hell, the only time he was truly happy. Unfortunately, Darko is still upset about BM's failure to meet any of the goals assigned to him (other than random violence) that he sentences BM to heaven. Black Mage spends eternity bored out of his mind and complaining that "All the hot chicks with wings got nothin underneath their robes...NOTHING!!"
Thief - Starts the largest Ponzi Scheme ever and gets every last Gil in the known realm. He is then brutally lynched by his investors who did not care that they had signed a "Ha, Ha, I Screwed You!" waiver. Not even his Law Ninja could save him. Red Mage - Finally decided that Charisma is the ultimate dump stat and removes all his points from it, rendering him unable to communicate in anything other than grunts and whistles. King Steve makes him his new campaign director, and Red Mage leads him to a landslide, finally wrapping up the crucial spagehetti vote. Fighter - Is wooed by Evil Princess Sarah as she pretends to love him only to use him as cannon fodder in her long awaited coop. She is victorious, of course, and when Fighter somehow survives by dumb luck, she marries him and sets him up as a puppet king so she can rule as the power behind the throne. That works until Steve's right hand man Rodney launches a counter-coop that even Sarah doesn't see coming. They both die in a bunker underneath the castle, though somehow Sarah's body is never found. Satified that he has been defeated fairly by Rodey's surperior strategy and cunning, Fighter dies in peace. |
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