The Marvelous Misadventures of Asshat! [REBOOT]

Token · 05-08-2010, 01:43 AM

Token here. As followers of my Twitter know, my laptop hates me. As mentioned in the first thread, my power cable broke, causing a hiatus. What I didn't mention there is that when I got it back, it turned out that it had gotten all virused up. I had to "restore it to factory settings." In other words, delete everything. This was particularly problematic, as I had never actually backed up the Let's Play I spent a few months working on.

Whoops.

For a few days, I attempted to get back to where I was before the barrage of failure I affectionately call The Clusterfuck. Tonight, after hours of frustration, I decided "fuck it." It would take much less effort to restart the whole thing. AND SO. I did. Luckily for me, I could fit a reboot into the story I had planned for the LP. With everything I had planned out, "time travel" would be relatively tame. The idea of a reboot was also unappealing, to be honest. It would be kind of stale watching me do the same shit with the same commentary again. Luckily, I figured out how to add in a fresh twist. This will essentially be a different LP that happens to share the same characters. And so, Asshat is finally back. This time with a reasonable rate of updates.

Tl;dr: Asshat's back in the past, unlike Samurai Jack! (For clarification, everything from the last thread still happened from Asshat's perspective.)

Episode One: In Which Many Fucks Are Whatted.

Uhn...

What? Oak?

What are you talking about? I already... my head...

I know. We've met. You asked me to fill the Pokedex for you.

Yes, I know.

We've had this discussion. Can you get the Pikablu out of my face now please?

That's great. But I'm pretty sure you came into my room and told me this exact same shit a few days ago.

For the love of Zapdos. I thought I was the amnesiac. Hmm. Maybe I can use this to my advantage... My name is:

Finally. Now maybe people will stop calling me that fucktarded name...

Of course. I really should have known better.

It's already unfolded. I have three badges already and a crapton of Pokemon.

Those are two of the most blatant lies I have ever heard.

I told you. We've done this already. Stupid senile old pedophile...

You know I hate you. Why would you say that?

Whafuck. Where are my Pokemon? And why am I back in my room? I was just in the Ecruteak Pokemon Center...

Really? I already showed him that damn egg. Why'd he tell you instead of just calling me like he always does?

What.

What.

What-what-what-what.

This is weird... It's almost like I've... No.

I'm probably just really high or something. I couldn't possibly have gone back in time.

Oh. Well fuck.

Of course you do. I don't know why, but I blame Joey for this.

Jeez. I really have gone back. What the hell did I do to deserve this?

I mean, other than the constant blasphemy, and pissing on the Ilex Forest shrine...

Celebi's shrine. Damn. Okay, can't say I didn't deserve that one. Note to self: don't urinate on the shrines of gods of time anymore.

Well, if I wanna get Leatherhed back, I have no choice, do I?

Yeah, sure. Just point me in the direction of the nearest Totodile.

Already picked. I've grown attached to the little blue bastard.

Doo-doo-doo-doo!

Yeah, I know. I'll be back before you can say "Jumping Jack Flash."

Oh. You have to be creepy first. Damn.

I didn't hate you in the future. Hopefully it was be the same in the presn... Holy Arceus these tenses are going to be annoying. Right. You. Don't piss me off, that's the point I was trying to get across.

Good start.

Ugh. Here we go again. But first... maybe deities won't hate me as much if I do something nice...

HEY! SHITFACE! TAKE THE ONE ON THE LEFT! THE OTHER ONE SUCKS.

Well, that's my good deed for the decade. It was one hell of a big one as well. If I hadn't done that, the poor fucker would be stuck with a Chikorita. I'd probably cry if I ever had to train one of them.

Yay battle. I need to hurt something!

So, since I'm in the past, does that mean I can reuse all of my puns again?

I'll work on some new ones to be safe, I guess. But first: TOTODILE, ROCK ITS SHIT!

Wha... what.... WHAT THE FUCK?!

TO BE CONTINUED

05-08-2010, 01:43 AM	#1
Token Magikoopa Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,789	The Marvelous Misadventures of Asshat! [REBOOT] Token here. As followers of my Twitter know, my laptop hates me. As mentioned in the first thread, my power cable broke, causing a hiatus. What I didn't mention there is that when I got it back, it turned out that it had gotten all virused up. I had to "restore it to factory settings." In other words, delete everything. This was particularly problematic, as I had never actually backed up the Let's Play I spent a few months working on. Whoops. For a few days, I attempted to get back to where I was before the barrage of failure I affectionately call The Clusterfuck. Tonight, after hours of frustration, I decided "fuck it." It would take much less effort to restart the whole thing. AND SO. I did. Luckily for me, I could fit a reboot into the story I had planned for the LP. With everything I had planned out, "time travel" would be relatively tame. The idea of a reboot was also unappealing, to be honest. It would be kind of stale watching me do the same shit with the same commentary again. Luckily, I figured out how to add in a fresh twist. This will essentially be a different LP that happens to share the same characters. And so, Asshat is finally back. This time with a reasonable rate of updates. Tl;dr: Asshat's back in the past, unlike Samurai Jack! (For clarification, everything from the last thread still happened from Asshat's perspective.) Episode One: In Which Many Fucks Are Whatted. Uhn... What? Oak? What are you talking about? I already... my head... I know. We've met. You asked me to fill the Pokedex for you. Yes, I know. We've had this discussion. Can you get the Pikablu out of my face now please? That's great. But I'm pretty sure you came into my room and told me this exact same shit a few days ago. For the love of Zapdos. I thought I was the amnesiac. Hmm. Maybe I can use this to my advantage... My name is: Finally. Now maybe people will stop calling me that fucktarded name... Of course. I really should have known better. It's already unfolded. I have three badges already and a crapton of Pokemon. Those are two of the most blatant lies I have ever heard. I told you. We've done this already. Stupid senile old pedophile... You know I hate you. Why would you say that? Whafuck. Where are my Pokemon? And why am I back in my room? I was just in the Ecruteak Pokemon Center... Really? I already showed him that damn egg. Why'd he tell you instead of just calling me like he always does? What. What. What-what-what-what. This is weird... It's almost like I've... No. I'm probably just really high or something. I couldn't possibly have gone back in time. Oh. Well fuck. Of course you do. I don't know why, but I blame Joey for this. Jeez. I really have gone back. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I mean, other than the constant blasphemy, and pissing on the Ilex Forest shrine... Celebi's shrine. Damn. Okay, can't say I didn't deserve that one. Note to self: don't urinate on the shrines of gods of time anymore. Well, if I wanna get Leatherhed back, I have no choice, do I? Yeah, sure. Just point me in the direction of the nearest Totodile. Already picked. I've grown attached to the little blue bastard. Doo-doo-doo-doo! Yeah, I know. I'll be back before you can say "Jumping Jack Flash." Oh. You have to be creepy first. Damn. I didn't hate you in the future. Hopefully it was be the same in the presn... Holy Arceus these tenses are going to be annoying. Right. You. Don't piss me off, that's the point I was trying to get across. Good start. Ugh. Here we go again. But first... maybe deities won't hate me as much if I do something nice... HEY! SHITFACE! TAKE THE ONE ON THE LEFT! THE OTHER ONE SUCKS. Well, that's my good deed for the decade. It was one hell of a big one as well. If I hadn't done that, the poor fucker would be stuck with a Chikorita. I'd probably cry if I ever had to train one of them. Yay battle. I need to hurt something! So, since I'm in the past, does that mean I can reuse all of my puns again? I'll work on some new ones to be safe, I guess. But first: TOTODILE, ROCK ITS SHIT! Wha... what.... WHAT THE FUCK?! TO BE CONTINUED