OH NOES NOT ANOTHER ONE! Let's Play Pokemon EMERALD

Ecks · 05-23-2010, 06:56 PM

Kid, sneeze in your elbow or something, don't get it on me.

I'm starting to get used to this.

Technically yes... but I'm still more awesome than you.

That's just super.

Oh, look. It's THIS thing again. Aryll, if you could...

Oh, sure thing.

And this one, too.

'Atta girl!

Why thank you, Ecks!

Aw, shucks, Aryll- wait, what are you doing in there?

Rats.

Uh-huh, what'd I tell you earlier about playing around in my head?

To ask permission first...

That's right. And the answer is no, not right now, we're in a battle situation.

Phooie.

You thought wrong then, didn't you?

I'm getting a little tired of whaling on poor kids... isn't there anyone around here who's carrying some real cash?

Here's a tip. See those guys behind me? They're wimps. I bet your Taillow could totally wipe the floor with that kid with the Wurmple.

Huh, what do we have here?

I'm gonna take them and then not plant any because I'm a douche like that.

Well, here we are, almost to Petalburg- IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?

Oh, shit.

I'd ask, but I sensed this coming a mile away.

IT IS! IT IS!

That's fantastic, really great, wanna swap spit with me?

Excuse me?

He gets like this whenever he bumps into a girl his own age.

If by "help" you mean "grope"-

D:<<

OH GOD NO PLEASE SPARE ME THE AGONY!!!!

>:3

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

Oh sweet, blessed relief! We're wiping to the battle screen!

Hey, look at all that fourth wall we're breaking!

HOLY SHIT She's hotter than I thought she'd be!

Hem-hem.

OH, HEY, LOOK AT ALL THIS BATTLING WE'RE GONNA DO, YUP. TOTALLY NOT GONNA WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE TRYING TO HIT ON THIS HOT LASS!

Good.

Another one?

Just... do what you need to do, and please don't text my brain again. Ever.

Promise you won't oogle all the pretty girls? And I'll know if you're lying...

BUT... I... FUCK, you got me. Okay, I'll try not to be such a horn dog.

Better.

And another one down.

Oh, wow, a Shroomish? Never seen one of those before. Keep your eyes peeled- er... do you HAVE eyes?

I dunno... maybe?

Huh.

Yeah, sure.

ALRIGHT! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

Calm down, it's just a Shroomish.

Not even high level.

Much better this time.

You think?

Totally.

Good going, man.

Oh, goddammit, you're REALLY hot... but I have to take your money and go away now. Or my Ralts is going to mindrape me.

And that really sucks.

I would imagine so. Bye, really REALLY hot chick.

...

Okay, okay, I'm going.

Hey, what's that?

What.

Okay, that was odd...

What, that item ball?

But... it looked like a Poke Ball. It should've BEEN a Poke Ball. Or something.

Okay, finally, we're done here, let's go.

Petalburg. It looks as though there is both a Pokemon Center AND a Poke Mart. Which means it automatically ranks higher than Littleroot.

And Onrac.

Because Onrac's a hole.

Okay, first of all? Where do you two find time to read Eight Bit?

&

...

Oh well, whatever, I'm sure it's not important.

Let's see what this lovely pair of legs-

Hmph.

Er, charming young lady! Yes, that. Let's see what she has to say.

Surprisingly useful advice! Though, not much I didn't already know.

You paying attention, Kentucky?

Oh yeah.

I'll be sure to remember that.

I dunno.

Well, if it's anything like Littleroot, he's probably already run off. Smart fellow.

Another surprisingly useful piece of information. I'm liking Petalburg more already-

Huh, this must be a Pokemon Gym.

...

Uh, Ecks?

Oh, no.

...

Care to clue me in?

Norman... is...

...

Okay, I'm a little freaked out now...

Oh... oh, no... please Ecks, don't-

YOU!

OH SHI-

Ecks, PLEASE calm down!

What's wrong? Why's he so pissed?

Well, see, Norman is-

Ecks' dad.

Holy shit.

YEAH, NICE TO SEE YOU TOO. PRICK.

NO THANKS TO YOU.

OH SURE, I'M GONNA GO KNOCK UP SOME GIRL I MEET, AND DUMP THEM OFF IN GOLDENROD WHILE I GALLIVANT AROUND THE WORLD AND NOT STOP AND MAYBE SAY HI TO MY KID ONCE IN A WHILE, OR EVEN CALL HIS MOTHER TO LET THEM KNOW I STILL THINK ABOUT THEM INSTEAD OF JUST MYSELF. Yeah, that's TOTALLY what I'm aspiring to do.

You're not even fucking listening. Can you believe this asshole?

OH WHAT THE FUCK NOW?

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Oh. He's that kid that ran off from his mom earlier. Whatever.

That's just great. Get lost.

Not my problem.

Listen you.

I- what? Duh, I'm not deaf, you deadbeat.

Excuse me, could you repeat that?

I'm sorry, I still couldn't quite hear you past all the deafening RAGE.

You lost me at the part where you were being very stupid.

I am in no way going to help this little twirp, especially not since you're the one who told me to.

YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU NEVER GAVE ME SHIT! YOU'VE BEEN GONE MY WHOLE FUCKING CHILDHOOD. AND NOW, AFTER BEING REUNITED FOR ALL OF FIVE MINUTES, YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE THIS LITTLE FUCKER ONE OF YOUR POKEMON, AND SEND ME TO BABYSIT HIM WHILE HE CATCHES ONE FOR HIMSELF? YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT THE HELL OFF.

Fuck you.

Even gives the brat his first Poke Ball. Dad of the Year, All Years.

Least he's polite. That old bastard don't deserve it, but still.

Sure kid. Not like I had plans to beat my old man to a bloody pulp for abandoning me.

...

So... he hates his dad?

It's a deep, jagged wound.

...

You see... his mother is still under the impression that they're legitimately together. It's kind of sick really... the way she watches the TV for news of him, how she talks like he's a part of the family. It's really no wonder why Ecks is... well... Ecks.

I get it. Poor bastard. At least it's NORMAL for us not to know our parents.

I knew mine, but I know what you meant by that.

...

What's he thinking about right now? I wanna know if he's okay.

I don't know. Right now he's barely keeping it together, and I'm respecting his wishes by not poking around in there.

Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

I wonder if I can get away with it... nah, I watch too much CSI. Grissom would totally have me pegged before the episode reached the half-hour mark.

OH BOY HERE WE GO.

Oh... oh, no...

Another Ralts?

Not just any other Ralts... my stalker.

Wait a sec... you have a stalker?

Had a stalker. Then you caught me and I escaped.

I refuse to believe that this day can be any shittier for all parties involved.

I take that back.

Dammit.

WHOA, ease off the profanity.

What, you say dammit all the time.

Yeah, and I don't act like a seven year old girl. So... I don't wanna hear that or anything else like it, got it?

Okay, fine.

That's nice kid. Fantastic.

Yes. Let's. I got some patricide to attend to.

You bet your deadbeat ass it did.

How touching. I'll be over here not caring.

Please don't!

FINALLY. THE BRAT'S LEAVING.

FUCK OFF.

You will die.

I don't want your advice. I want your body. Bruised, broken, bleeding, in a word: DEAD.

Why? Once I'm done here, I'll be a wanted man. I don't want to head toward a major population center.

Oh, you crafty BASTARD! You know of my weakness for women! But that will not save you. I will eventually go conquer this Roxanne. But not before I have your head!

Okay, yeah, whatever, now you're just stalling for time.

I fail to see how any of this is going to postpone your demise-

Wait. What did you say?

Only... after... I become stronger? Excuse me?

OH IT'S SO ON!

Oh ho! Really?

THAT'S FINE! I'LL GO WHIP THIS ROXANNE, AND ANYONE ELSE I HAVE TO JUST SO I CAN COME BACK HERE AND COMPLETELY RUIN YOU. I WILL BECOME SO POWERFUL THAT WHEN I BEAT YOU AT YOUR OWN GAME, YOU WILL BREAK DOWN SO HARD. I WILL OWN YOU! JUST YOU WAIT!

Guys, I have a new plan. We're headed for Rustboro City.

You all right, boss?

Better than ever. I have a purpose now.

Of course you do!

I'm gonna get stronger. You guys too. And we'll come back here when we do. And then we're going to crush him. I will make him pay.

I thought you wanted to kill him.

I still do. But revenge is a dish best served cold. And how fitting that his bastard child be the one to dethrone him from his lofty Gym Leader perch. To completely and utterly dominate him on his own turf, playing his own game, by his own rules.

I don't need to kill him. Because he's already dead.

---

Holy Procrastination, Batman! Why the hell did I take a whole week to do this? Granted, I think it's my largest chapter yet, but still. If I'd spent the time earlier this week finishing this instead of putting it off, I could've had it to you earlier this week, and gotten feedback and what not.

By the way, you guys looking at the filenames? I like to insert a little wordplay in some of them, if you've noticed.

Yes. Ecks hates his dad. As I'm sure I've stated, Ecks is not an author avatar. I actually love my dad, who has been there for me my whole life. Also, I began to set up Norman's backstory way back in the first chapter, where I was still struggling to find Ecks' motivation to continue on past "leaving this hole forever." I figured, hell, we can spend the first half of the game on Ecks' quest for vengeance against his father, and then by that point, he'll already be on such a massive power trip that he'll just have to go all the way to the top.

Also, how do you like Aryll? I have this cool idea where as a Ralts, she's the clingy, jealous younger sister typical in most anime; When she evolves to Kirlia, she'll be the overprotective, jealous older sister; and when she makes the jump to Gardevoir, she'll be full blown Team Mom with shades of Hot Shounen Mom (in the sense that she'll still tease the hell out of Ecks with suggestive jokes). Not sure whether or not Kentucky is going to go through personality changes as he evolves... I'll need a tad bit more time (I better hurry, I think Torchic hits Combusken at 14 or 15...) to think on that one.

Slakoth's next on my list. I already know what I'm doing as far as his personality is concerned (here's a hint, when he hits Vigoroth, he's gonna be an exercise nut), however, I would again like you guys to give me some ideas on nicknames. You guys have no problem doing it for Cartoonist when HE askes for nicknames, so quit being slackers.

That's all for now, I'll have Aryll's Character Profile up in a few days, then I'll get to work on making it to Rustboro.