Avatar RP VIII: Chapter VII: Timing

[PyrosNine]

Behind Arhra I, the white mage, came a tiny violet rainbow (of multiple shades of violet) in her time of need.

"Greeeetings, from the FUUUUUTUUURE! Where that joke is no longer relevant, but highly ironic!" said an extra tiny Arhra IX, who stood on Arhra's right shoulder.

"Arhra! Why so serious? With the knife and the balloon murder and all that, I mean." With her tiny violet rainbow clad miniature arm, she patted Arhra on the back. Well, more like her upper neck, IX couldn't reach that far in her miniature state.

Arhra also felt a small burning sensation on her left shoulder.

Chibi-Pyros appeared, disproving. "Yeah. Seriously. Evil Balloons you's. There are plenty of you's, and there are a few evil you's, but you're freaking out because you popped a few evil balloon you's. What's wrong with You's?"

IX had a different tone from Chibi Pyros, being from the future and all.

"Arhra, even though I know my words will have little effect, as the narration already mentioned my being from the future and all, but you mustn't forget what's truly important about being a white mage!" IX said, floating with her purple wings, speaking right into Arhra's right ear.

"They're balloons. It's not even murder in most countries!" Chibi-Pyros continued.

Sillyland, ruled by the ancient yet slightly creepy Clown Dynasty, frowned with capital punishment seriousness upon Inflaticide, also known in local Jester criminal slang as "popping", with offenders facing death by firing squad that drives in with a clown car. And there are always more of them in the car than you think.

"In the path of a white mage, there are monsters, demons, beings of pure hate, malice, and ignorance, who shun peace, love, and even those warm and fuzzy things shared by all, like saying "Good Morning", or eating Flan!" Chimed IX, in honorable tones.

"Like, on the hierarchy of ending the lives of things, Balloons are lower even than Ants! Pyros del Sol will happily pop balloons on his path of Mary-Suedom! And these were Evil balloons! The Space Pope would probably condone the death of a few evil balloon clones!" Chibi Pyros kept ranting in Arhra's left ear.

"And so, even the most devout, and virtuous patrons of the white way must be willing to smite, not in rage, or in hate, or with blood thirst, but with love, with the fury of righteousness to protect those that do love! It is a hard, but painful task asked of all white mages!" IX continued, speaking at the same time.

"I mean, 4 white mages can take down Chaos, Cloud of Darkness, and Neo-Exdeath, but that's if you're lame and don't take a band of Red Mages! I'm willing to relent if you take two white mages, a white wizard, and Boco the chocobo, but only just so. If only they let you take teams of five,then you could take Bard too, clinching awesomeness, but they don't, do they? White Sages don't count for the purposes of this challenge either, they're just Red Mage eunuchs!" Chibi-Pyros nodded to himself.

"But the important thing is, is that even if you must step out of the warm comfort of 'thou shalt not kill', and 'do no harm first', and must take lives, even if they are black as night in their wickedness, even if you must risk straying from your path down the back alleys of bloodshed--"

"Y'know, I was gonna abbreviate my name to be CP, to make it two syllables like IX, but then I thought, what if somebody read my name as Child Porn? That's just wrong! The fact I look like, 5 or so just cements the wrongness! And you in your white mage robes look the youngest out of most of the Arhras! I feel dirty just bringing it up! Or Communist Party? We've already had someone start spouting Trotskyisms! Or Captain Picard? Or Chronic Non-Suppurative Pancreatitis? Or other stuff?"

"You must still strive, and hope for a world of peace and love, where life endures! If you aim to follow the white path, then when you take one life, you must save a thousand in return, and if you kill thousands, you must revive the world! For it is the strive to restore what is fading, or what is lost that will return a white mage to the true path! Even if you are a faux white mage, it is that strive that will prove your truth. That is what I believe, and also..."

"Anyway, to sum what I'm saying up, stop being such a pansy, If you're gonna be against violence and desire to save lives without taking any in turn, you might as well start a Free Clinic in the projects, because what's going on here requires a mage who is willing to use a White Mage hammer for something more than Croquet! Pre-Emptive healing you could call it, for all the damage your allies won't take due to blunt force trauma to enemy heads. Like a blood sword, for those with Hemophobia!"

"...And also what this book says right here!" IX held up a tome of White Magic entitled "White Magehood for Dummies (or former Avatars of Chaos), by Minwu AKA Ming-Wu, AKA Shiro'o Kazama, AKA White Sleight. "Which you can purchase from me, your future self, for a low low price of free! Assuming of course, you return it to a public library in Queens 50 years from now, because I checked it out then and had it on me for the next 17, so y'know, you'll do yourself a favor financially, if you catch my drift!"

"Wait, what the crap? You came here just to hawk off your library fines? I'm here proving a distraction to your well intentioned advice as the devil on the left hand side, and this is about you dodging late fees?"

"They are really big, and really violet late fees! From the future!"

"This could be my last appearance in an Avvy, on NPF for that matter, aside from my appearance in that Philbo comic, and it's about using time travel to avoid late fees?"

"I left the white White Mage book in my Rainbow colored house's White room on a white bookshelf between a white book on Dentistry and a slightly beige looking book that looks slightly white in the Beige room and yet looks slightly beige in the white room! The late fees could not be avoided! This is slightly less abuse of time travel than that Steel guy I'm really here to give harsh words to!"

"We'll see how much time travel is involved with you after I put my kawaii boot up your violet behind!"

"Just try and bring it, CP!"

There then commenced a miniature fracas that fell into an adorable and morally indecisive ball of conflict on the popped balloon bit covered ground.

The book of White magic just kinda lay there on the ground, forgotten.

* * *

Pyros ran ahead, slicing through enemy clones, bee guns, which constantly respawned as he moved through the screen, and made an impressive running leap across a gap, to grab onto the wall on the otherside, only to be immediately set upon by an Eagle mid-air, and carried off to it's hungry nestlings.

"EEAAGLE!" Pyros screamed, carried off by his hair.

He would really have to work on his timing with his sword to get any further with this game, and he was only on the third level, with 3 minutes to spare! Roughly. Steel was making it kind of hard to tell.

That was it, it was time to show Pyros's own blend of fury, honed from a thousand years of being second banana, to a thousand years of being known just as another crazy fire cat god angel, a thousand years of being mistaken for Amaterasu and being stalked through the night by a desperate Tsukiyomi.

Pyros grabbed his long, Pantene-Pro V enfused locks, and pulled himself up towards his captor, knowing that the raptor's talons were already ruining his haircut anyway. With that in mind, he punched the bird in the junk.

He then fell, towards what looked like a wounded Arhra....was it the same one? He'd have to-"

The Giant Fan, in fell in freefall alongside him.

"Oooh! Are you going to summon a coloured vehicle fueled by the souls of the damned?"

The Giant fan was also an Eagles fan.