The Vanguard of your Destruction: Let's Play Mass Effect!

DFM · 10-17-2010, 02:22 AM

LET'S PLAY MASS EFFECT

[BROUGHT TO YOU BY MIRAI GEN]

Who purchased this game for me on the PC so I could do this Let's Play which is kind of like being paid to write a Let's Play which is kind of like being a published author sort of in a way if you squint and hold your breath WHICH MAKES ME A PUBLISHED AUTHOR NOW FFFFFFFFFFFF YES

Mass Effect is a 2007 action RPG from Bioware where you are Commander Shepard, space badass, who is leading a team of other space badasses to stop a giant asshole from skipping around the galaxy and wrecking up the place.

You get your own ship, your own crew, and this space tank monster truck called the Mako which is named after the fact that if you threw a shark into a sand pit it would look a lot like you trying to drive anywhere in this fucking thing. It comes in handy later but I have no idea why they don't just drop you at the front door for most of these missions, it's not like most of the people you fight are set up to fight off a military frigate but whatever we get to climb up walls at two feet per minute in something that was meant for water so that's cool. That's cool Bioware.

As an ARPG/Shooter hybrid, you get stats and skills you level up throughout the game, and like any good RPG some are worthless and you'll die if you put any points in them. This scrub has Marksmen what a worthless power that never did anyone any good I can't believe it's even in the gavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvshp that was the sound of a pistol unloading a million rounds in one point five seconds with pinpoint accuracy.

There's also a Paragon/Renegade morality scale which is basically "By the Book Simon" and his partner "Loose Cannon Garfunkle". If you get a high enough Renegade score your cybernetics start to break through your skin because they smell the blood of the innocent at your feet. But that's only in Mass Effect 2 so we don't have to worry about that. We can totally give ourselves bitchin' ass scars from the start though, ME2 ain't got nothing on that.

I guess that's sort of the gist of the game, I dunno, if you don't know what Mass Effect is you'll pick it up as we go along. Now it's time for everyone's favorite part of these things and that is CHARACTER CREATION where we forge our fearless colonial soldier MAX HARDON.

There's our default Male and Female Shepards. Now's where we customize. Vote for one sex, one origin, one psych profile, and one class. If you want to throw in suggestions for appearance, that's cool too.

ORIGINS

PSYCHE PROFILES

CLASSES

I told Krylo I'd include "Emo-Goth Biotic Super Chick" or something as an option so THERE, THERE IT IS KRYLO.

Basically I'm going to try and make this work like my VtM:B LP, where I do first person narration and monologues and observations while throwing in the occasional audience vote on a moral/tactical choice. The character/personality Shepard has is going to come from whatever combination of options you choose above, and I'll probably do a short little written introduction before the screenshots start.

ANYWAY THERE YOU GO. THERE IT IS. THE MASS EFFECT LET'S PLAY, LET'S HOPE MY COMPUTER DOESN'T FALL OVER AND DIE AGAIN FOR THE THIRD AND POSSIBLY FOURTH TIME.

As an aside are the actual screenshots too small? I wanted to make them more manageable than the last one. (Past this, there won't be any text on them for you to strain to read as far as I can remember).

10-17-2010, 02:22 AM	#1
DFM Om Nom Nom Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3,850	The Vanguard of your Destruction: Let's Play Mass Effect! LET'S PLAY MASS EFFECT [BROUGHT TO YOU BY MIRAI GEN] Who purchased this game for me on the PC so I could do this Let's Play which is kind of like being paid to write a Let's Play which is kind of like being a published author sort of in a way if you squint and hold your breath WHICH MAKES ME A PUBLISHED AUTHOR NOW FFFFFFFFFFFF YES Mass Effect is a 2007 action RPG from Bioware where you are Commander Shepard, space badass, who is leading a team of other space badasses to stop a giant asshole from skipping around the galaxy and wrecking up the place. You get your own ship, your own crew, and this space tank monster truck called the Mako which is named after the fact that if you threw a shark into a sand pit it would look a lot like you trying to drive anywhere in this fucking thing. It comes in handy later but I have no idea why they don't just drop you at the front door for most of these missions, it's not like most of the people you fight are set up to fight off a military frigate but whatever we get to climb up walls at two feet per minute in something that was meant for water so that's cool. That's cool Bioware. As an ARPG/Shooter hybrid, you get stats and skills you level up throughout the game, and like any good RPG some are worthless and you'll die if you put any points in them. This scrub has Marksmen what a worthless power that never did anyone any good I can't believe it's even in the gavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvshp that was the sound of a pistol unloading a million rounds in one point five seconds with pinpoint accuracy. There's also a Paragon/Renegade morality scale which is basically "By the Book Simon" and his partner "Loose Cannon Garfunkle". If you get a high enough Renegade score your cybernetics start to break through your skin because they smell the blood of the innocent at your feet. But that's only in Mass Effect 2 so we don't have to worry about that. We can totally give ourselves bitchin' ass scars from the start though, ME2 ain't got nothing on that. I guess that's sort of the gist of the game, I dunno, if you don't know what Mass Effect is you'll pick it up as we go along. Now it's time for everyone's favorite part of these things and that is CHARACTER CREATION where we forge our fearless colonial soldier MAX HARDON. There's our default Male and Female Shepards. Now's where we customize. Vote for one sex, one origin, one psych profile, and one class. If you want to throw in suggestions for appearance, that's cool too. ORIGINS PSYCHE PROFILES CLASSES I told Krylo I'd include "Emo-Goth Biotic Super Chick" or something as an option so THERE, THERE IT IS KRYLO. Basically I'm going to try and make this work like my VtM:B LP, where I do first person narration and monologues and observations while throwing in the occasional audience vote on a moral/tactical choice. The character/personality Shepard has is going to come from whatever combination of options you choose above, and I'll probably do a short little written introduction before the screenshots start. ANYWAY THERE YOU GO. THERE IT IS. THE MASS EFFECT LET'S PLAY, LET'S HOPE MY COMPUTER DOESN'T FALL OVER AND DIE AGAIN FOR THE THIRD AND POSSIBLY FOURTH TIME. As an aside are the actual screenshots too small? I wanted to make them more manageable than the last one. (Past this, there won't be any text on them for you to strain to read as far as I can remember). __________________ [14:26] ManoftheRus: YOU GODDAMN SNEAKY DEE Last edited by DFM; 10-17-2010 at 02:36 AM.