Pokemon Umbral Theatre 20: Where Logic Goes to Die

[Astral Harmony]

Originally Posted by Menarker

So, AB, you said way way back that the beach mission will also be Rachel's 18th birthday, right?

*Has re-learned a bunch of stuff from the database reading*

...

You're a twisted little cherub, aren't you?

The premise of the beach mission is to celebrate Rachel's birthday and for a special edition of the popular magazine bizarrely called "Stress". A lot of the female characters are going to be posing for a segment called "Angels of the Agency*" along with Alphonsine Dionne, top centerfold for Stress and a well known and beloved celebrity.

Also there may be Ruin Generals, so it won't all be just a day to enjoy the hot, wet beaches.

* I suppose I could have named the segment "PATCA Pussy", but meh.

EDIT: Random Omake Attack!

The premise of this omake is that Lola runs her own Suicide Hotline.

Chizuru: "Hotline."
Red: "H-hello?"
Chizuru: "Whaddup?"
Red: "What's up...I'm not sure that I wanna live anymore, that's what's up."
Chizuru: "Hold on."
*Chizuru puts Red on hold and connects him to Lola*
Lola: "Helloooo?"
Red: "I...I need someone to talk to."
Lola: "Call your mom."
Red: "My mother died last year."
Lola: "Serves her right, bitch! Wa ha ha ha ha! Naw, I'm just playin', fucknuts. Listen, whenever you're feeling low, just page me and I'll call you."
Red: "You will?"
Lola: "Yeah. I'll call you a nerdy bitch for bothering me! Now! Don't blow your fuckin' head off."
Red: "Why not, who cares if I do?"
Lola: "The poor guy who's gotta clean that shit up. If you're gonna do it, do it outside or something!"
Red: "You-you think I won't really do it, don't ya?"
Lola: "Honestly, I could give a rat's ass."
Red: "You think I won't, huh? You think I'm kiddin'? You think I-"
Lola: "Do it! Do it, fucker! Bring me the gun, I'll fucking do it for ya!"
*Lola hears gunfire on the phone*
Lola: "Hello? Are you there?"
Red: "...Hello?"
Lola: "I knew you wouldn't do it, you scaredy bitch!"
*phone hangs up*
Harliette: "Ummm...sis..."
Lola: "What?"
Harliette: "I think you need to read the manual on how to really handle a suicide hotline."

*Sometime later, Lola receives a message on her pager. She returns the call.*

Red: "Hello?"
Lola: "Somebody page me?"
Red: "Hi."
Lola: "Who the fuck is this?"
Red: "It's-it's me, you said I could page you."
Lola: "No, no, you misunderstood me. I said 'FUCK YOU'! Nobody cares if you're dead or alive so go fuck yourself!"
*Lola hangs up on Red*
Red: "Okay, call me later. Bye."
Harliette: "That's it, Lola. No more Mollesk wine for you."
Lola: "But I'm the victim here!"