I'm still kind of confused how something like Kazaam gets made into a movie...

Magus · 11-12-2011, 02:12 AM

Yes, they made this into a movie

I mean, think about it, it's a live-action movie where the main gimmick is that Shaquille O'Neal plays a rapping Black genie who lives inside of a magic boombox.

Let's be serious. This would have been an awesome Saturday morning cartoon concept. Saturday morning cartoons lend themselves to such "random" concepts as motorcycle-riding anthropomorphic mice from Mars, jet-flying anthropomorphic cats, ninjitsu-trained anthropomorphic turtles, anthropomorphic sharks who glide through pavement like its water, and anthropomorphic private-investigating dogs and rabbits who solve oddball crimes (that's a lot of anthropomorphism).

This was better than Kazaam*

You also have such concepts as the blue-skinned, green-haired physical embodiment of Planet Earth being summoned by teenagers, or a hapless janitor mutated by toxic sludge who fights polluters with a mop. This is the environment where a freestyling rapper genie would fit right in, to the enjoyment of nine year old kids everywhere. But instead they attempt to make it feature-length?!

This was better than Kazaam

Hubris, thy name is Kazaam. Like Icarus attempting to touch the sun, you flew too high in your aspirations and plummeted to a watery demise. As a half-hour cartoon, you would have thrived. THRIVED, I say.

But instead you exist only to form the negative comparison in the following sentence, "The DC-universe movie where Shaquille O'Neal wore armor and fought crime with a laser-hammer wasn't great, but at least it's better than Kazaam."

This was better than Kazaam

Thoughts?**

*But really the inclusion of gay leather-fetish mutant mice into anything maximizes its awesomeness

**Incoherent ramblings, which are the usual result of the realization that someone put Shaquille O'Neal into a ton of movies BUT DID NOT give him at least a supporting role in the one where Michael Jordan plays basketball with Looney Tunes characters, are also welcome

11-12-2011, 02:12 AM	#1
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	I'm still kind of confused how something like Kazaam gets made into a movie... Yes, they made this into a movie I mean, think about it, it's a live-action movie where the main gimmick is that Shaquille O'Neal plays a rapping Black genie who lives inside of a magic boombox. Let's be serious. This would have been an awesome Saturday morning cartoon concept. Saturday morning cartoons lend themselves to such "random" concepts as motorcycle-riding anthropomorphic mice from Mars, jet-flying anthropomorphic cats, ninjitsu-trained anthropomorphic turtles, anthropomorphic sharks who glide through pavement like its water, and anthropomorphic private-investigating dogs and rabbits who solve oddball crimes (that's a lot of anthropomorphism). This was better than Kazaam* You also have such concepts as the blue-skinned, green-haired physical embodiment of Planet Earth being summoned by teenagers, or a hapless janitor mutated by toxic sludge who fights polluters with a mop. This is the environment where a freestyling rapper genie would fit right in, to the enjoyment of nine year old kids everywhere. But instead they attempt to make it feature-length?! This was better than Kazaam Hubris, thy name is Kazaam. Like Icarus attempting to touch the sun, you flew too high in your aspirations and plummeted to a watery demise. As a half-hour cartoon, you would have thrived. THRIVED, I say. But instead you exist only to form the negative comparison in the following sentence, "The DC-universe movie where Shaquille O'Neal wore armor and fought crime with a laser-hammer wasn't great, but at least it's better than Kazaam." This was better than Kazaam Thoughts?** But really the inclusion of gay leather-fetish mutant mice into anything maximizes its awesomeness Incoherent ramblings, which are the usual result of the realization that someone put Shaquille O'Neal into a ton of movies BUT DID NOT give him at least a supporting role in the one where Michael Jordan plays basketball with Looney Tunes characters, are also welcome __________________ The Valiant Review Last edited by Magus; 11-12-2011 at 02:30 AM.*