Justice League Film, or, How the fuck does The Town have a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes?

[Magus]

The Town was easily one of the most godawful experiences I've had in my life. I haven't been tortured by the Viet Cong but I'm presuming watching it is a good substitute for bamboo shoots being inserted under your fingernails. Everything about the movie is horrible, from the dumb-as-fuck plot to the stupidly ridiculous costumes Ben and his crew wear (OOH THEY'RE DRESSED AS ZOMBIE NUNS. THAT'S SO EDGY) to the ten minute monologues delivered in grating Bostonian that Ben Affleck wrote for himself to deliver in probably the worst case of authorial self-insertion since Stephen fucking King. By an hour and a half into what felt like three goddamn hours but what I am told was actually only slightly over two hours I was actively cheering for the detective character to catch Affleck (who by the way is one of the most evil fucks in existence but is painted as a saint by the movie. A wordy, egotistical saint). My heart was broken by the fact that he escaped on a bus at the end there (yes, on a bus. A goddamn bus).

Is there some kind of Hollywood blind spot for movies based in Boston or something? I felt the same way about this when they gave Scorsese a pity Oscar for The Departed, a goofy, campy, shitty remake of an excellent Korean film called Infernal Affairs. It was like, "Hey, we never gave you an Oscar yet even though you're one of the best directors of all time. Here, let's give you one for not only your worst film, but one of the worst movies of the decade. Now, then, my fellow Hollywood elite, to the sex dungeon for the orgy and opium party!"

Ahem.

I say all this because it appears that Warner Bros., in their infinite wisdom, has offered the directorial role of the Justice League live-action movie to one Ben Affleck, director of The Town.

Originally Posted by The AV Club

According to Variety, Ben Affleck has become the first director to be offered the opportunity to helm Warner Bros.' upcoming Justice League, and then most likely turn it down, citing some sort of scheduling conflict or other obfuscating reason to hide the fact that he doesn't want to touch it. The studio has reportedly already begun the process of approaching Affleck, no doubt reminding him of how much they enjoyed The Town, Gone Baby Gone, and the upcoming Argo, and telling him that they would so love to see him bring those same gritty, grounded sensibilities to a larger tentpole picture—probably a sales pitch very similar to when they previously offered him films like Gangster Squad and Man Of Steel before Affleck politely refused, finally agreeing to film The Stand more or less out of pity at this point.

While nothing is official yet, Affleck is expected to pretend to consider the project for an obligatory day or so, before similarly saying thanks but no thanks to spending the next several years on the onus of mounting Warners' Avengers competitor and rebooting Batman post-Christopher Nolan—almost assuredly saying something about "having too much respect for the material" or something like that, all while thinking to himself, essentially, "Fuuuuuuuuck that." Affleck is also expected to wish that people writing about it won't dig up that obvious Hollywoodland photo of him in a Superman suit.

Fuck this noise.