Design yourselves!

Crodevillian Team · 03-05-2005, 11:41 PM

If I were to put all of my stats onto paper, it'd go something like this... or exactly like this.

1. Cooking Ability: About a nine million. If you try my Campbell's Soup or grilled cheese, I think you'd easily agree.

2. Dance Skills: I'm a little rusty with my Pendet, but my Troika is exceptional To The Max! I'm going to put this particular stat at a modest eight and half billion.

3. Artistic Ability: As I'm sure you've noticed through past posts of mine, I'm quite talented when it comes to portraiture and other fine arts. This statistic I will rank at forty.

4. Calories: I'm low fat, so I think I'm generally safe and nutritious for consumption. Were I to guess, I'd say I'm about 160 calories per serving, with a serving size of six feet, two inches.

5. Mathematical Ability: If x is equal to thirteen, and y is equal to two and a half million, my mathematical ability is equal to x + y, or eighteen point seven repeating.

6. Literary Talent: Well, I can't speak for myself, but this is what the New York Times had to say about me: "Here the extended metaphor of the archipelago is joined by an image that informed Solzhenitsyn's novel "The Cancer Ward." Evoking his own experience of cancer, he perceives the cancer as a tumor that, in metastisizing, infected the whole nation with its poison... Solzhenitsyn believes that the individual, armed with Truth and Right alone, can move tyrants, subvert power and alter the course of history." Well, I think they said that about me.

7. Crash Test Rating: I'm happy to report I received a five star government rating. That's right; I'm as a safe as a Mercury Montego!

8. Class: First

9. Feat: Two.

10. Aesthetic Value: I'll let you be the judge, based on this photograph I took of myself with a camera I invented:

I'm sure you could tell, but I'm holding a glass of Five Alive and a Cane. My signature is holding a glass of Five Alive too, which it can do because the 'y' has an extended tail that acts as a gripping device, or to coin a new term I've developed, a "hand." That is a delicious apple tree in the background. There is a sky in the background [sorry, it sneaked in there] as well as a Great Auk. I may or may not have horns in real life.

Okay, so I don't actually play Donjons and Demons, or Labrynths and Liches, or whatever it is you kids call it these days. I'm sure they have these stats, though. Right?

03-05-2005, 11:41 PM	#11
Crodevillian Team You -got- my postcard?! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Roewer Posts: 786	If I were to put all of my stats onto paper, it'd go something like this... or exactly like this. 1. Cooking Ability: About a nine million. If you try my Campbell's Soup or grilled cheese, I think you'd easily agree. 2. Dance Skills: I'm a little rusty with my Pendet, but my Troika is exceptional To The Max! I'm going to put this particular stat at a modest eight and half billion. 3. Artistic Ability: As I'm sure you've noticed through past posts of mine, I'm quite talented when it comes to portraiture and other fine arts. This statistic I will rank at forty. 4. Calories: I'm low fat, so I think I'm generally safe and nutritious for consumption. Were I to guess, I'd say I'm about 160 calories per serving, with a serving size of six feet, two inches. 5. Mathematical Ability: If x is equal to thirteen, and y is equal to two and a half million, my mathematical ability is equal to x + y, or eighteen point seven repeating. 6. Literary Talent: Well, I can't speak for myself, but this is what the New York Times had to say about me: "Here the extended metaphor of the archipelago is joined by an image that informed Solzhenitsyn's novel "The Cancer Ward." Evoking his own experience of cancer, he perceives the cancer as a tumor that, in metastisizing, infected the whole nation with its poison... Solzhenitsyn believes that the individual, armed with Truth and Right alone, can move tyrants, subvert power and alter the course of history." Well, I think they said that about me. 7. Crash Test Rating: I'm happy to report I received a five star government rating. That's right; I'm as a safe as a Mercury Montego! 8. Class: First 9. Feat: Two. 10. Aesthetic Value: I'll let you be the judge, based on this photograph I took of myself with a camera I invented: I'm sure you could tell, but I'm holding a glass of Five Alive and a Cane. My signature is holding a glass of Five Alive too, which it can do because the 'y' has an extended tail that acts as a gripping device, or to coin a new term I've developed, a "hand." That is a delicious apple tree in the background. There is a sky in the background [sorry, it sneaked in there] as well as a Great Auk. I may or may not have horns in real life. Okay, so I don't actually play Donjons and Demons, or Labrynths and Liches, or whatever it is you kids call it these days. I'm sure they have these stats, though. Right?