Who Knew?

[POS Industries]

15. Mother Brain - Are we talking the actual Metroid one or the Captain N version? Either way, nah.

14. Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan - I'm not saying there aren't some alien chicks out there that totally do it for me (see Ezri Dax), but this here ain't one of them.

13. Drew Barrymore - Nice girl, I suppose, but she's very rarely done anything for me. Also, lowest ranking person on the list that I'm absolutely sure has a vagina.

12. Krylo Killian in drag - Eh, I'm sure he'd be a lot of fun.

11. Fran - Bonus points for the outfit, but the ears are just too distracting.

10. Scarlett Johnansson - I'm as surprised that she's as low on the list as she is, too. I adored her in "Lost in Translation", but any time I've seen her since I've been relatively underwhelmed.

9. Yuna - The X-2 outfit here is nice, but everything else that goes along with X-2 drags it all down. FFX appearance is meh.

8. Keira Knightly - From what I can tell, she's much more alluring in every movie she's in that I refuse to see due to outright suckiness. I mean, christ, "Domino"? Hot as hell, in my opinion, but I ain't sitting through it. Know what? She was originally number 4, but I'm moving her down the list due to her habitual inconvenience.

7. Tifa Lockhart in AC - While she gets one of my all-time favorite fight scenes in this outing, her original FF7 outfit was more flattering for this competition.

6. Lulu - Cleavagetastic and I fully approve her sense of style. The world needs more of her, really.

5. Not a celebrity - This is a pretty broad range, but it includes a lot of regular people in my everyday life who I'd be more than happy to have a good tumble with. They know who they are.

4. Rikku - Not only is she just fun to look at, but she's inspired a large amount of my favorite bits of cosplay eyecandy. Thank you, Rikku!

3. Yoko Matsugane - This list needs more japanese girls. That's all there is to it.

2. Celes Chere - A better guess would have been Terra, but this isn't bad. I wouldn't have necessarily had her this high on the list originally, but I found some fantastic artwork of her in some of the more disreputable corners of the internet. Absolutely breathtaking stuff, though.

1. Rose McGowan - It doesn't matter what the hell role you specify, she's probably going to win. I mean, damn.

Death by Stabbing is the winner! Proceed!