A story I have been working on

Cornwallace · 08-20-2008, 03:18 PM

Ok I have been working on this story for a while and looking for a good medium to put it in besides print cause it really isn't finished yet and I would like to know how good people who aren't my friends or relatives think it is, this part is here because I was unsure about multiple posting in a story, anyway here is the first chapter of said story, if it is well received or received at all I will probably post the other parts.

Chapter 1

What a majestic sight Maxi Man dwarfing the city standing over it guarding it from people like me. It was almost as if he knew what was about to happen. I just thought that it was kind of amusing that I would be the last person to see him like this perched on a building his cape flowing behind him in the evening breeze. It was a pity that no one else was there to see it. I remember when this guy was in his prime going around the world with that one group what was they called, oh yeah the protectorate. I followed them throughout their careers. Of course the comics were never really the same, but better than nothing I guess. Even though by the time I got them they had been passed through so many hands that they hardly held together I was always waiting for the next issue. This guy was the best of the best in the super hero community, under different circumstances I might have even asked him for an autograph. I was there on business though so if everything works out like it�s supposed to I should never get that chance. I hope he goes fast because If he doesn�t the recoil won�t be all that hits me. As I questioned if killing this Idol is really the best thing to do she walks up behind me. Seeing her always kind of unnerved me. You never really get over the feeling of bringing another killer into the world especially one that seems so innocent. In this line of work there are worse things I guess. Seeing her makes me consider what I have done with my life, is this really worth it the money, the adventure is that really worth a life, is she worth it. Then all of a sudden I know that I never should have thought about that because the part of me that loves her would do anything to keep things this way. With this new feeling in my gut I take aim at him again like I was some teenager trying to impress his date by knocking down all of the milk bottles with one throw, and maybe I was not with milk bottles but with high powered weapons and super heroes. After what they did to her it is easy to see why she hates them and this guy was the king of super heroes. If I killed him it would be like killing a piece of each of them and maybe that is what she really wanted to hurt them as much as they hurt her. Internal struggles aside someone would be taking this shot so why not me I mean I am the best and the money is good. Besides the alibi is already set up and the deal is made I pull this trigger and I disappear a wealthy man, we would never have to kill again but we will her because that is what she does now and me because I want to be with her. So after the two halves of my personality finally gave in I took up the gun once more aimed it at him and pulled the trigger repeatedly. I will never be sure if it was the shots or the fall that killed him, but one thing is certain to come back would do the way he died injustice. As majestically as he stood he slowly fell down accepting his fate not scrambling or yelling like jumpers or other people who fall form heights. As he quickly approached the ground it almost seemed that there was a smile on his face like he was the victim of some cruel prank or that he knew that his time was up. Truly it did not matter he had lived as much as many men in his years. His name was a house hold many years after his prime and by killing him I would only make that more true than before. The only thing recognized more than a hero is a martyr and that is what he became a martyr for his cause for peace.

After he hit the ground she gave me a hug from behind, a look of amazement and satisfaction on her face as if I was a high school quarter back who had just thrown a game winning touchdown. As I looked at her face I saw her mouth something but was still concentrated on what had just happened.

What?

Did you see him fall?

How could I see anything else?

Yes, it was magnificent like nothing he could have done in life.

I guess, let�s get out of here before the cops show up.

Such a powerful man brought down not by a weapon but his own lack of power kind of ironic don�t you think?

It is ironic, what else would be ironic is if we commit the crime of the century and get caught by some idiot passing by on traffic duty, we really should go.

It was then that I felt her hand move around to my back and catch me in a full embrace pulling me in closer to her. Without thinking my hand immediately went to the back of her head pulling he lips in to meet with mine. There over the body of a dead champion we shared a loving embrace. I felt time stop when I met her lips it was like this was what my body lived for everything else didn�t matter. This sweet release engulfed me completely like there was nothing except for her and me. This short moment would always end too soon, but at least this time it was interrupted by her voice.

Maybe you were right we do have a rendezvous?

Is that really important?

You know it is after this we can go where we want have what we want do what we want and anyone that tries to stop us will know what a lover�s fury really is.

As long as I have you I would go anywhere babe.

Did you really just say that?
Yeah, why does it sound too clich�?

No, just you had better mean it; a girl could get the wrong idea.

As if to reassure her I grabbed her and kissed her hard, fooling around on the scene was nothing new but this one was different it felt different. It felt like she did a mixture of right, and wrong but mostly trouble. I wonder if that is what she feels or if she feels. With that thought and the power of our embrace I grabbed the weapon and we walked to the roof exit then we were gone. Me and my princess just two dust specs that no one would notice in the stand storm that was the world.

08-20-2008, 03:18 PM	#1
Cornwallace Goomba Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 8	A story I have been working on Ok I have been working on this story for a while and looking for a good medium to put it in besides print cause it really isn't finished yet and I would like to know how good people who aren't my friends or relatives think it is, this part is here because I was unsure about multiple posting in a story, anyway here is the first chapter of said story, if it is well received or received at all I will probably post the other parts. Chapter 1 What a majestic sight Maxi Man dwarfing the city standing over it guarding it from people like me. It was almost as if he knew what was about to happen. I just thought that it was kind of amusing that I would be the last person to see him like this perched on a building his cape flowing behind him in the evening breeze. It was a pity that no one else was there to see it. I remember when this guy was in his prime going around the world with that one group what was they called, oh yeah the protectorate. I followed them throughout their careers. Of course the comics were never really the same, but better than nothing I guess. Even though by the time I got them they had been passed through so many hands that they hardly held together I was always waiting for the next issue. This guy was the best of the best in the super hero community, under different circumstances I might have even asked him for an autograph. I was there on business though so if everything works out like it�s supposed to I should never get that chance. I hope he goes fast because If he doesn�t the recoil won�t be all that hits me. As I questioned if killing this Idol is really the best thing to do she walks up behind me. Seeing her always kind of unnerved me. You never really get over the feeling of bringing another killer into the world especially one that seems so innocent. In this line of work there are worse things I guess. Seeing her makes me consider what I have done with my life, is this really worth it the money, the adventure is that really worth a life, is she worth it. Then all of a sudden I know that I never should have thought about that because the part of me that loves her would do anything to keep things this way. With this new feeling in my gut I take aim at him again like I was some teenager trying to impress his date by knocking down all of the milk bottles with one throw, and maybe I was not with milk bottles but with high powered weapons and super heroes. After what they did to her it is easy to see why she hates them and this guy was the king of super heroes. If I killed him it would be like killing a piece of each of them and maybe that is what she really wanted to hurt them as much as they hurt her. Internal struggles aside someone would be taking this shot so why not me I mean I am the best and the money is good. Besides the alibi is already set up and the deal is made I pull this trigger and I disappear a wealthy man, we would never have to kill again but we will her because that is what she does now and me because I want to be with her. So after the two halves of my personality finally gave in I took up the gun once more aimed it at him and pulled the trigger repeatedly. I will never be sure if it was the shots or the fall that killed him, but one thing is certain to come back would do the way he died injustice. As majestically as he stood he slowly fell down accepting his fate not scrambling or yelling like jumpers or other people who fall form heights. As he quickly approached the ground it almost seemed that there was a smile on his face like he was the victim of some cruel prank or that he knew that his time was up. Truly it did not matter he had lived as much as many men in his years. His name was a house hold many years after his prime and by killing him I would only make that more true than before. The only thing recognized more than a hero is a martyr and that is what he became a martyr for his cause for peace. After he hit the ground she gave me a hug from behind, a look of amazement and satisfaction on her face as if I was a high school quarter back who had just thrown a game winning touchdown. As I looked at her face I saw her mouth something but was still concentrated on what had just happened. What? Did you see him fall? How could I see anything else? Yes, it was magnificent like nothing he could have done in life. I guess, let�s get out of here before the cops show up. Such a powerful man brought down not by a weapon but his own lack of power kind of ironic don�t you think? It is ironic, what else would be ironic is if we commit the crime of the century and get caught by some idiot passing by on traffic duty, we really should go. It was then that I felt her hand move around to my back and catch me in a full embrace pulling me in closer to her. Without thinking my hand immediately went to the back of her head pulling he lips in to meet with mine. There over the body of a dead champion we shared a loving embrace. I felt time stop when I met her lips it was like this was what my body lived for everything else didn�t matter. This sweet release engulfed me completely like there was nothing except for her and me. This short moment would always end too soon, but at least this time it was interrupted by her voice. Maybe you were right we do have a rendezvous? Is that really important? You know it is after this we can go where we want have what we want do what we want and anyone that tries to stop us will know what a lover�s fury really is. As long as I have you I would go anywhere babe. Did you really just say that? Yeah, why does it sound too clich�? No, just you had better mean it; a girl could get the wrong idea. As if to reassure her I grabbed her and kissed her hard, fooling around on the scene was nothing new but this one was different it felt different. It felt like she did a mixture of right, and wrong but mostly trouble. I wonder if that is what she feels or if she feels. With that thought and the power of our embrace I grabbed the weapon and we walked to the roof exit then we were gone. Me and my princess just two dust specs that no one would notice in the stand storm that was the world.