Taking the high road

CelesJessa · 05-23-2009, 09:22 PM

So recently I've been having a bit of a spat with my grandmother. Not to get too detail heavy, but pretty much, my grandmother is... not a pleasant individual. There are many things from the past that make our family not a big fan of her (abused(physically and emotionally) my dad as a kid, barely showed an ounce of caring when my brother got cancer, didn't even bother coming to either of my brother's weddings even when the means to go were completely supplied, the list is a long one...).

Despite all of that I was trying to take the higher road and possibly give her another chance, considering she's getting pretty old, and I guess I thought I could maybe pretend I had a grandma who liked me, so I started trying to do little things to try and mend the gaping hole that is between my grandma and myself but my kind gesture was repaid with more hurtful comments and guilt trips and whathave you.

And she does this kind of thing all the time, she's constantly putting my dad down, has basically all but said that my brothers and I don't matter as much as her grandchildren who live nearby(what kind of grandmother tries to steal your toys when you were little to give to your cousins who she likes better?), and in general is a very unpleasant person.

Now, part of me knows it's best to take the high road and be the better person by not fighting back, but on the other hand, I don't want to be a doormat either. I think I'm generally a pretty level-headed and easy-to-get-along-with person and I don't like to pick pointless battles, and I know saying something would just cause more drama and problems, but is it okay to let people get away with everything just because you're the "better person"?

So any insight? Or any experiences you guys have with standing up for youself or "taking the high road"? I didn't want to get all dramatic and start up the whole life-advice-you-really-should-be-asking-someone-else thing, but I thought it could be an interesting topic to hear how other people have dealt with perhaps similar problems.

In other news, if you have a good grandma, go give her a hug for me.

05-23-2009, 09:22 PM	#1
CelesJessa DA-DA-DA-DAA DAA DAA DA DA-DAAAAAA! Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Zanzibar Land Posts: 6,531	Taking the high road So recently I've been having a bit of a spat with my grandmother. Not to get too detail heavy, but pretty much, my grandmother is... not a pleasant individual. There are many things from the past that make our family not a big fan of her (abused(physically and emotionally) my dad as a kid, barely showed an ounce of caring when my brother got cancer, didn't even bother coming to either of my brother's weddings even when the means to go were completely supplied, the list is a long one...). Despite all of that I was trying to take the higher road and possibly give her another chance, considering she's getting pretty old, and I guess I thought I could maybe pretend I had a grandma who liked me, so I started trying to do little things to try and mend the gaping hole that is between my grandma and myself but my kind gesture was repaid with more hurtful comments and guilt trips and whathave you. And she does this kind of thing all the time, she's constantly putting my dad down, has basically all but said that my brothers and I don't matter as much as her grandchildren who live nearby(what kind of grandmother tries to steal your toys when you were little to give to your cousins who she likes better?), and in general is a very unpleasant person. Now, part of me knows it's best to take the high road and be the better person by not fighting back, but on the other hand, I don't want to be a doormat either. I think I'm generally a pretty level-headed and easy-to-get-along-with person and I don't like to pick pointless battles, and I know saying something would just cause more drama and problems, but is it okay to let people get away with everything just because you're the "better person"? So any insight? Or any experiences you guys have with standing up for youself or "taking the high road"? I didn't want to get all dramatic and start up the whole life-advice-you-really-should-be-asking-someone-else thing, but I thought it could be an interesting topic to hear how other people have dealt with perhaps similar problems. In other news, if you have a good grandma, go give her a hug for me. __________________